Guest List and Invitations

Knottie1448131004

I've been invited to a couple weddings this year. I live abroad (outside the US) and I've been with my now fiancé for seven years. He hasn't been invited to any of the weddings. Should they have extended the invite to him out of courtesy? Just curious on the etiquette. 

artbyallie

Yes. It is terribly rude to not invite one's significant other, regardless of how long they have been dating, whether the marrying couple has met them, etc.

AddieCake

Yes, they should have. You should call and clarify if he is invited. If the couple says no, you should decline the invitation.

downtondiva

Of course they should have invited him. There is no excuse for them not to.

LondonLisa

Yes, definitely. Before you decline, I'd call or email and say something along the lines of "Hi Jane. Love the invitations! Just confirming John, my fiancé, is also invited. Thanks!" If their answer is anything but: "Yes! Of course, I'm so embarrassed I missed him!" Don't attend- it is beyond rude to disrespect your relationship like that, and those are friendships not worth the effort of international plane travel. 

kimmiinthemitten

LondonLisa said:

Yes, definitely. Before you decline, I'd call or email and say something along the lines of "Hi Jane. Love the invitations! Just confirming John, my fiancé, is also invited. Thanks!" If their answer is anything but: "Yes! Of course, I'm so embarrassed I missed him!" Don't attend- it is beyond rude to disrespect your relationship like that, and those are friendships not worth the effort of international plane travel. 

QFT!

Knottie1448131004

Okay. Thanks everyone. I know he is most likely not attending because of the distance and cost, but it still would have been nice if they had addressed the invite to both of us. It's sort of like a nice acknowledgement of our partnership.

kimmiinthemitten

Knottie1448131004 said:

Okay. Thanks everyone. I know he most likely not attending because of the distance and cost, but it still would have been nice if they had addressed the invite to both of us. It's sort of like a nice acknowledgement of our partnership.

If you can hang out and post that in response to all of the people coming here to defend their decision to exclude SO's, that'd be great.

glasgowtolondon

kimmiinthemitten said:

Knottie1448131004 said:

Okay. Thanks everyone. I know he most likely not attending because of the distance and cost, but it still would have been nice if they had addressed the invite to both of us. It's sort of like a nice acknowledgement of our partnership.

If you can hang out and post that in response to all of the people coming here to defend their decision to exclude SO's, that'd be great.

Yep. Cheers to that!

ernursej

PPs have it covered. Now that you are planning your own wedding you can really show others how it is done. All SOs, regardless of time together or if you've met them, need to be invited. Truly single guests may have a +1 extended, but it is not required. For any truly single guest, you should have wiggle room in your count to invite a SO if they enter into a relationship before your wedding.

SoldiersMom

This has happened to me three times since my fiancé and I have been engaged! It's hurtful, offense and confusing...Am I invited? Is this just an invite extended to him? I feel your/your FI's pain. Worst part is, the most recent invitation came from someone my fiancé has been considering for a groomsmen, so he definitely is aware of my existence.  When will people get this right??