flower girl/ring bearer questions

Knottie2017523

Our wedding is in July, and I just have a couple questions about these 'roles.' 


1 of our ring bearers is my FI nephew, he is 10. 
The other is my little cousin, he will be 2.5 come July, and our flower girl is his older sister who will be 4.5 

The boys are pretty outgoing, but the girl can be pretty shy-but will do about anything with her brother so we were thinking about just having all 3 of them walk in together. we have already talked to all of their parents, and they were thrilled! 

My FI has 2 little cousins, the boy will be about 2.5, his older sister is about 9. 

Is it too late to ask the parents of my FI cousins to be flower girl/ring bearers? 

Where did everyone get their Flower girl dresses at? I have yet to find any that I really like that are affordable.. our wedding is hopefully going to be outside in July (yes we have a back up AC, its actually on the same property) so I want the kids to be as cool as possible so they will enjoy themselves a little more. For the Ring bearers we were thinking just slack, a white button up and suspenders. 

OurWildKingdom

For the flower girl dresses, check out sales of Easter dresses. They should be marked down starting tomorrow.

AddieCake

So you're going to have 5 kids in the wedding as RB & FG? This is overkill IMO.

Jen4948

I would recommend not having the 2.5 year olds in the wedding party but just have them sit with their parents and in photos. At 2.5 years old that's about all they can probably handle.

JaxInBlue

Ditto after-Easter/post-First Communion season sales for outfits.  I got really cute dresses from Kohls for about $30 apiece back when DH and I got married.  Make sure, unless you are covering the costs of clothes, you get a budget from the parents first, as well as the parents preferences (sleeves vs. tank top, for example,  or short vs. longer dress).

I also agree that 2.5 is on the really early side for participation.  If you move forward with both 2.5 year olds, I'd be prepared for them not to want to participate in more than a picture or two.

As to the cousins, when did you ask the original FG and RBs?  If it was recently (less than a month or so), then it would probably be okay to ask the others.  But if it's been more than a month or so, it might seem like the second round of asks were an afterthought or only done for numbers/pictures.

JediElizabeth

JaxInBlue said:

Ditto after-Easter/post-First Communion season sales for outfits.  I got really cute dresses from Kohls for about $30 apiece back when DH and I got married.  Make sure, unless you are covering the costs of clothes, you get a budget from the parents first, as well as the parents preferences (sleeves vs. tank top, for example,  or short vs. longer dress).

I also agree that 2.5 is on the really early side for participation.  If you move forward with both 2.5 year olds, I'd be prepared for them not to want to participate in more than a picture or two.

As to the cousins, when did you ask the original FG and RBs?  If it was recently (less than a month or so), then it would probably be okay to ask the others.  But if it's been more than a month or so, it might seem like the second round of asks were an afterthought or only done for numbers/pictures.

For a wedding party, yes, but I don't personally think many people would think that anyone would ask a 4th and 5th ring bearer or flower girl to be added just for numbers. If I were the parent, I'd probably see it as them simply wanting my kids involved, particularly if it was phrased as "we realized that we really want little Sally and Billy to be a part of our day because we love them so much."

That said, I'll echo PPs that 5 kids, 2 in their "terrible twos," would be a LOT. Only do this if you're ok with moments of utter chaos during your processional. 

SP29

As long as it has not been a long period of time since you asked the nieces and nephews, I think it is fine to ask if you truly want the kids involved.

As for the ages, I think that is up to the kids and parents.

My SIL found and bought the FG dress for our niece. I asked for a navy blue dress, let her know the BMs were getting theirs from DB and that they have FG dresses there, but ultimately SIL found something she liked and was comfortable buying. She showed me the picture, and I said great!

Our FG and RB only took a couple photos with us anyway, and just DH and I, quickly after the ceremony ended. They weren't standing around doing group photos or anything.

FG was just over 2, and she was shy. We hoped she would walk in with her brother, but she wouldn't walk without her mom. NBD- didn't bother us either way (if SIL walked her daughter down the aisle, or if FG had decided NOPE not doing it). We still wanted to include both our niece and nephew.

Knottie2017523

See this is the dilemma I am in.. haha 

We have no other children in our families besides these kids, and we do want a FG and RB. 

We asked the first ones in January, but none of the families have ever met before-they live 9 hours apart from each other. 

I only had planned on the kids being in a couple pictures, nothing more than that because I figured they wouldn't have the attention span or the patience for anything more than a couple. 

I wondered about the 2.5 year olds being too young, but since their older siblings would be with them, I thought that that may make it easier on them.

I just don't know what to do! 

Jen4948

Knottie2017523 said:

See this is the dilemma I am in.. haha 

We have no other children in our families besides these kids, and we do want a FG and RB. 

We asked the first ones in January, but none of the families have ever met before-they live 9 hours apart from each other. 

I only had planned on the kids being in a couple pictures, nothing more than that because I figured they wouldn't have the attention span or the patience for anything more than a couple. 

I wondered about the 2.5 year olds being too young, but since their older siblings would be with them, I thought that that may make it easier on them.

I just don't know what to do! 

Don't have flower girls or ring bearers in order to "fill roles."  For that matter, don't choose any wedding party members with that in mind.

Only ask people you really care about and want to honor.  If you only plan on the kids being in a few pictures, then don't plan on them being flower girls or ring bearers.

SP29

You ask people to be a part of your WP because you wish to honour them with the role. No one is entitled to a spot in your WP, nor are people to be asked to stand in as a prop.

If you want the children to be RB and FG- ask them! If not, don't worry about it. However, I do wonder, why are only considering asking FI's young cousins now? I see you asked niece/nephew back in January.

[Deleted User]

First ask the parents of the flower girl what their budget is for her dress unless you are paying for it. Kohl's online has flower girl dresses that are super affordable and like another pp said, check clearance racks for easter dresses. Skip bridal shops if possible for flower girl dresses, they are so way overpriced. Also check bridal consignment stores. 

In regards to the other kids, here is something to think of. For the two additional kids you would have, that's two more gifts you need to buy, and then four additional people you have to invite to your rehersal dinner if you are having one, two more young personalities you have to deal with and if you are providing transportation (limo) that's 4 more people you have to account for on space because you have to let their parents come with you because you can't ask anyone in the bridal party to become sitters for the kids.

MairePoppy

Are you close to the two cousins? If you are, then it's fine to ask. It's also okay not to include every kid in the wedding party. 

Keep the outfits affordable for the kids. Where do the parents usually buy their kids clothes? I was in JC Penney yesterday, there were beautiful first communion and party type dresses and suits for $30 - $60. There's an even better selection online. 

http://www.jcpenney.com/jsp/search/results.jsp?fromSearch=true&searchType=Predictive Search&Ntt=first+communion+dresses&ruleZoneName=XGNSZone&successPage=null&_dyncharset=UTF-8&rootContentItemType=XGNS

http://www.jcpenney.com/jsp/search/results.jsp?fromSearch=true&searchType=Predictive Search&Ntt=boys+suits&ruleZoneName=XGNSZone&successPage=null&_dyncharset=UTF-8&rootContentItemType=XGNS

http://www.jcpenney.com/shop-girls/shop-all-girls/shop-girls-by-size/dresses/_/N-1nox63Z62a/cat.jump?marketingSlot=true&id=cat100260075&deptId=dept20000016&marketingSlot=true