Awkward

AddieCake

KnickerGold said:

Question, because I'm curious- Let's say a bride invited Jack and Jill, but made the etiquette mistake of addressing the invite as 'Jack and Guest' unaware of the etiquette error, fully aware of the relationship and 'acknowledging' it by giving him a 'plus one' (since IME many don't realize a plus one is only for truly single people, not for those in relationships)-- would Jill still *need* to be invited?

No, she would not. If Jack is allowed to bring "and guest," then the person Jack deems is "and guest" goes with him.

ETA: If they are still together, obviously Jack should take Jill if she can go. But if they break up, Jill was never specifically invited, so she does not still "have" an invitation. 

[Deleted User]

AddieCake said:

KnickerGold said:

Question, because I'm curious- Let's say a bride invited Jack and Jill, but made the etiquette mistake of addressing the invite as 'Jack and Guest' unaware of the etiquette error, fully aware of the relationship and 'acknowledging' it by giving him a 'plus one' (since IME many don't realize a plus one is only for truly single people, not for those in relationships)-- would Jill still *need* to be invited?

No, she would not. If Jack is allowed to bring "and guest," then the person Jack deems is "and guest" goes with him.

ETA: If they are still together, obviously Jack should take Jill if she can go. But if they break up, Jill was never specifically invited, so she does not still "have" an invitation. 

What if Jill decides not to go, and Jack wants to invite his new GF Karen? Should the bride and groom allow Jack to bring his new SO?       

AddieCake

FutureMrs060217 said:

AddieCake said:

KnickerGold said:

Question, because I'm curious- Let's say a bride invited Jack and Jill, but made the etiquette mistake of addressing the invite as 'Jack and Guest' unaware of the etiquette error, fully aware of the relationship and 'acknowledging' it by giving him a 'plus one' (since IME many don't realize a plus one is only for truly single people, not for those in relationships)-- would Jill still *need* to be invited?

No, she would not. If Jack is allowed to bring "and guest," then the person Jack deems is "and guest" goes with him.

ETA: If they are still together, obviously Jack should take Jill if she can go. But if they break up, Jill was never specifically invited, so she does not still "have" an invitation. 

What if Jill decides not to go, and Jack wants to invite his new GF Karen? Should the bride and groom allow Jack to bring his new SO?       

Yes. Jack was given an "an guest" and absolutely should be allowed to bring his girlfriend Karen. 

flantastic

KnickerGold said:

Question, because I'm curious- Let's say a bride invited Jack and Jill, but made the etiquette mistake of addressing the invite as 'Jack and Guest' unaware of the etiquette error, fully aware of the relationship and 'acknowledging' it by giving him a 'plus one' (since IME many don't realize a plus one is only for truly single people, not for those in relationships)-- would Jill still *need* to be invited?

I think, in the instance that Jill calls and asks if she's still invited, you should say yes, to acknowledge that she should have been invited by name. But you'd also be stuck inviting Karen.

ILoveBeachMusic

adk19 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

laurad75 said:

missJeanLouise said:

Stuck in a box.

I think it just depends on how the host feels about the former SO. OP of a different thread would be THRILLED to not have to invite her MOH's bf if they broke up. There would be no guilt about being rude to the guy. If you don't want to cut all ties with the ex then extend the invite. Personally, I wouldn't be eager to spend the day at the same event as my recent ex.

True, but that OP doesn't have a relationship with that SO outside of knowing him through the MOH (from what I understood).  My FI knew Jill before she dated Jack and they are friends...just not close enough that she would have received an invite.  

I Think this explains it all... Jill would not have received an invitation on her own if she had not been dating Jack at the time the invitations went out... so personally I don't think Jill should still be invited to the wedding on her own b/c she wouldn't have been, originally. So I agree that Jill has balls to have asked b/c deep down, I think she knows she wouldn't have been, either.

Except un-inviting someone in a friendship-ending move.  She's been invited.  Yes, she wouldn't have been if something had happened a few days earlier rather than a few days later, but that's beside the point.  She was invited.  What if you un-invite her, end the friendship, and she and Jack get back together?  Then what?

This. So what would you say "sorry you wouldn't have been invited if you hadn't been with Jack so now you can't come. We still want to be friends with you anyway." That would be so rude and a friendship ending move.