AW post? First time dress hunting! What I learned...

MCmeow

Yesterday I went to BHLDN with my bridesmaids and mom. We already booked our venue but this is the first time I felt like a bride!
I went in thinking "Ok this dress I saw online is definitely the one I will wear for my wedding because it's perfect" and walked out thinking "Everything I ever thought was wrong". I think that's probably the main lesson for anyone who hasn't gone looking for dresses yet, keep an open mind, most people aren't 6ft tall models, so the dress won't look the same on everyone, something you weren't sure you would like might look absolutely beautiful on you.

The experience was pretty amazing, my mom cried when I first came out, and then cried again when the lady put a veil on me, I no longer have any idea what type of dress I want, this first experience basically re-calibrated what I want in a dress. It became obvious which dresses were more flattering. The one everyone loved doesn't have a long enough train (I want a long train damn it, if it did I would've said yes on the spot) but I looked so happy in it, I was glowing, there was another photo where I was walking out with a big smile on my face and I can imagine looking like that on the wedding day. The second one makes me look a little too mature (Maybe it's a good thing because I'm 25, both me and FH look like babies, the dress lady thought this was a shotgun wedding and I was 19), the neck area is kinda itchy but it's pretty flattering and it's so beautiful, the back detail is also stunning (It was ripped by a previous bride though). Also I want a simple small flower crown and long veil so I'm not sure which would fit better (It's an outdoor garden venue, likely a hot May day, maybe a highly detailed dress would be too busy in that setting?)
I have three more appointments so let's see. I'm extremely indecisive so I know I won't have a "Yes to the dress" moment, unless there's a miracle, I'll likely sit down and look at the photos for a few weeks, and make pros and cons. Anyway these were the top two for this shop! (Cropped out my face :P)

kimmiinthemitten

I love the first one on you.  It's seriously beautiful.

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.  I was convinced I wouldn't have a 'moment' either because I hated dress shopping, but I did.  But I learned along the way that it didn't matter if I did or didn't so long as I bought something that made me feel good.

OurWildKingdom

I'm leaning more towards the first dress, but both look gorgeous! I'm glad you had a positive shopping experience!

pinupbride6189

Both look stunning! Glad you had a good time shopping and hopefully you'll continue to do so! 

MCmeow

kimmiinthemitten said:

I love the first one on you.  It's seriously beautiful.

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.  I was convinced I wouldn't have a 'moment' either because I hated dress shopping, but I did.  But I learned along the way that it didn't matter if I did or didn't so long as I bought something that made me feel good.

You had the moment after all? Nice! How did you know? Like what kind of thoughts went through your head?
Whenever I put on a dress that had amazing reactions and I felt good in, I still had these thoughts "But if only it had this or that and what if I don't like it in a few months" I never expected to have the moment but it would be nice to and thanks everyone!

kimmiinthemitten

@MCmeow I did!  It was so cheesy too.  I felt like I had been playing dress up, and this dress felt real to me.  I didn't want to take it off.  Then they added some jewelry and a headpiece and I teared up.  And then I laughed at myself for crying.  

MCmeow

kimmiinthemitten said:

@MCmeow I did!  It was so cheesy too.  I felt like I had been playing dress up, and this dress felt real to me.  I didn't want to take it off.  Then they added some jewelry and a headpiece and I teared up.  And then I laughed at myself for crying.  

Oh my god now I really hope I get that moment. That sounds great  

charlotte989875

They are both gorgeous! I lean toward the second one, but I love lace. Seriously either one would be amazing. 

I felt the the same way as @kimmiinthemitten; I felt like I was playing dress up the whole time. It wasn't until I tried on the dress a second time, and had a veil on that I had "the moment". It was brief, but I just felt like that was what I was going to wear when I got married. But I had to go back a second day and make sure I felt like that again. Good luck! 

SP29

I think they are both gorgeous. But if something makes you itchy- I'd stay away. You will presumably be wearing this dress all day.

I didn't really have "the moment". I browsed a lot online, and had a pretty good idea of what I wanted. I still tried on 10 dresses. I will agree everyone should have an open mind- what looks good online doesn't necessarily look good on "you"- and vice versa! I ended up choosing between 2 dresses- I hummed and hawed, eventually chose the one I originally found online and loved.

To be honest, I would have loved a lace dress. I adore lace. But a lace dress was not in my budget, so I didn't go there. Sometimes I think maybe if I found the perfect lace dress I would have that moment- but then again, probably not. My excitement meter is pretty low .

CharmedPam

Both of those look amazing!! I think I'm leaning towards the 2nd one if this is a poll. I agree - what you go in thinking you'll like, you may end up surprised at the end of the day.  The shop/consultant I went with saw what I liked, pulled some of those styles, but then brought out some other styles.  I went with her 'expertise' and that was the one!  Sometimes the consultants know too.

MCmeow

The more I look at myself in the first one the more I love it, I hope I have a moment where I don't second guess a dress, but maybe I'll go back after all the appointments are done and try that one with a veil (only tried the second with a veil) I have a feeling it'll make all the difference. I saw the first one online and thought I wouldn't like it so I kinda kept that attitude while wearing it but goddamn I don't know what to think anymore haha.

MesmrEwe

Instead of a long train - you could always have a Cathedral length veil...  Just a thought...  Heck - and no add-on cost for the bustle!

It's not so much a moment but a good rule of thumb - if you have to talk yourself into wearing something - it's not the right one...  Try some more dresses on, insist they have trains and if you still go back to the one, you have your answer. 

MCmeow

MesmrEwe said:

Instead of a long train - you could always have a Cathedral length veil...  Just a thought...  Heck - and no add-on cost for the bustle!

It's not so much a moment but a good rule of thumb - if you have to talk yourself into wearing something - it's not the right one...  Try some more dresses on, insist they have trains and if you still go back to the one, you have your answer. 

Yeah you're right, I want to be sure about this but when looking at it I wish I felt sure at that moment. Out of all the photos my best friend took of me this dress is the only one I look back at and love more and more over time. I feel like it fits the venue, my personality and everything but can't figure out why I didn't have that feeling, maybe I felt overwhelmed by the reactions and didn't know what my own thoughts were, also I didn't like how it looked online so I kept that same attitude which I shouldn't have but everyone's reactions to it was pure shock and I felt so happy in it, and the photos of me look so happy. And I'll definitely do that, try more and see if I still lean on the first, I feel like I might do that, but let's see

CharmedPam

MesmrEwe said:

Instead of a long train - you could always have a Cathedral length veil...  Just a thought...  Heck - and no add-on cost for the bustle!

It's not so much a moment but a good rule of thumb - if you have to talk yourself into wearing something - it's not the right one...  Try some more dresses on, insist they have trains and if you still go back to the one, you have your answer. 

I LOVE this idea....I was against a veil to begin with but now I like this idea for the ceremony only

kimmiinthemitten

MCmeow said:

MesmrEwe said:

Instead of a long train - you could always have a Cathedral length veil...  Just a thought...  Heck - and no add-on cost for the bustle!

It's not so much a moment but a good rule of thumb - if you have to talk yourself into wearing something - it's not the right one...  Try some more dresses on, insist they have trains and if you still go back to the one, you have your answer. 

Yeah you're right, I want to be sure about this but when looking at it I wish I felt sure at that moment. Out of all the photos my best friend took of me this dress is the only one I look back at and love more and more over time. I feel like it fits the venue, my personality and everything but can't figure out why I didn't have that feeling, maybe I felt overwhelmed by the reactions and didn't know what my own thoughts were, also I didn't like how it looked online so I kept that same attitude which I shouldn't have but everyone's reactions to it was pure shock and I felt so happy in it, and the photos of me look so happy. And I'll definitely do that, try more and see if I still lean on the first, I feel like I might do that, but let's see

I had a dress like that from my first time shopping. After a few more trips I tired it on again at another store and felt nothing. I'd try some more on and then go back and try it on again to see how you feel. 

ILoveBeachMusic

MesmrEwe said:

Instead of a long train - you could always have a Cathedral length veil...  Just a thought...  Heck - and no add-on cost for the bustle!

It's not so much a moment but a good rule of thumb - if you have to talk yourself into wearing something - it's not the right one...  Try some more dresses on, insist they have trains and if you still go back to the one, you have your answer. 

This is what my daughter did (she wore my veil). She had a short train on her dress so still needed the bustle, but the veil is what everyone commented on after the wedding.

kvruns

I like 1 best. Plus if you're afraid one might be itchy or bug you later on it is not the right dress

MCmeow

I just googled what bustles are (Wedding dress noob), not a fan . But I would definitely add a cathedral veil if I choose that dress! I set up a short appointment to try it on again right after the very last one as a final stop. Can't wait. I'll try not to think about it too much, and stop looking at the photos so often, haha, next appointment in 3 weeks, then last day of appointments at the end of May. Plenty of time to be sure  Thanks for the suggestions! Oh and another lesson I learned, try to pay attention to how you feel in the dress, because I don't remember paying attention to that at all, (Except the itchy neck), think about the flowy-ness, how it feels when you move around and try to pay attention to your own emotions, not just of everyone around you, because I didn't pay attention to that either haha.

MandyMost

I'm a big "weigh the pros and cons" person, so I didn't have a typical Say Yes to the Dress moment. But I knew it was the dress when I thought about it constantly after the first time I saw it, and was eager to try it on again (at a different appointment, at a different store). I just couldn't get it out of my head, and was comparing all the other dresses to it.