Too many parent dances?

Knottie73679490

I have too many parents that I want to dance with. I want to do a first dance. I also want to do a dance with my father, a dance with my stepfather, a dance with my mother, and the groom wants to dance with his mother. I know this will take a long time and some guests will be bored; however, I really want to do all these dances. I don’t think I can cut any out. I also have tried to shorten the songs, but it is hard because I love all the lyrics. If anyone has any ideas on how to make this doable, I would appreciate it so much! I thought about doing the first dance right after we were introduced, then doing toasts, then serving dinner and doing all the parent dances during dinner, so guests don't get bored. What do you think? Thank you in advance!

ShesSoCold

That's way too much. Why do you feel the need to dance with all your parents?

Why don't you dance with all your parents to the same song - so first minute you and your dad, then second your mom, then third you and stepdad? Or have the dad/daughter dance at the same time as your H and his mom?

FWIW, I have a dad and stepdad and my mom was the most important person in my life (way more so than either dad or SD). To avoid any weirdness, I didn't have spotlight dances with anyone. That's also an option.

banana468

Why do you need to do all of these as a spotlight?  If you did opt to do this, I think you get ONE song.   Then partway through your dad leaves and your stepfather comes in, and then at the end your mom would come in.

Or, just dance with them.   I didn't dance with DH for just the first dance song.   There were plenty of times I was on the dance floor along with a ton of other people. 

bleve0821

Personally, I'd feel a little awkward if I was eating with the rest of my table while the bride was dancing with a troupe of different people.  I wouldn't know whether to watch her, talk to my neighbors, or enjoy my meal.

Do these extra dances with your parents have to be spotlight dances?  If they don't, why not just have the DJ space these special songs out throughout the entire time the dance floor is open, and then just dance with that parent then?  You'll still get your special dances with each individual, but you avoid the issue of boring your guests, because they have the option of dancing as well.

STARMOON44

AtomicBlonde said:

Personally, I'd feel a little awkward if I was eating with the rest of my table while the bride was dancing with a troupe of different people.  I wouldn't know whether to watch her, talk to my neighbors, or enjoy my meal.

Do these extra dances with your parents have to be spotlight dances?  If they don't, why not just have the DJ space these special songs out throughout the entire time the dance floor is open, and then just dance with that parent then?  You'll still get your special dances with each individual, but you avoid the issue of boring your guests, because they have the option of dancing as well.

Completely agree!

SP29

We paired the father/daughter dance with the mother/son dance and chose a song that worked for both of us.

I agree that either you choose one song and dance with each person, or have special songs in mind to dance with each parent, but do not make them a spotlight dance.

LondonLisa

Why can't you just dance with these people? Why do you need to shut down the party to have everyone watch you dance? I think 2 dances is the absolute maximum I'm willing to watch before I think it's a vanity parade. 

ernursej

I would do a spotlight dance with your H and then do the rest of the dances throughout the evening, but no spotlight. That way, all the parents get a dance (you can even play a special song), but your guests don't have to sit through that many spotlight dances.

Jen4948

I would just do a spotlight dance with your husband and not have any other spotlight dances. That way you can still dance with everyone else without forcing all the action to come to a stop for prolonged periods of time while you dance.

justsie

ernursej said:

I would do a spotlight dance with your H and then do the rest of the dances throughout the evening, but no spotlight. That way, all the parents get a dance (you can even play a special song), but your guests don't have to sit through that many spotlight dances.

I second this

climbingsingle

Please do not do all of these spotlight dances. If you want to dance with these people, just dance with them. There doesn't need to be a special spotlight dance for every parent. 

My H and I did a first dance, and then later on, we both danced with our parents at the same time. We also invited all the guests to join us on the dance floor. 
I've attended weddings with many spotlight dances and speeches, and it's so incredibly boring to sit through. Don't do this to your guests! 

lnixon8

I have been to weddings where brides have had really bad relationships with their dads/stepdads and they still devote entire songs to them becasue "that's what's done" or they were worried how it would look. My Dad and I are very very very close (after H he is my favorite person) and we danced for less than 60 seconds of "stand by me" at the same time as H danced with his Mom.

These people know you love them, and your guests will know you love them based on how you live your life, and how you interact with them at the reception (really wish my professional photographer got pics of my dad, H and I smoking cigars together by the pool). 

OurWildKingdom

We're doing a "family" dance with my parents and FW's mother, and possibly my brother, SIL, nephew, and niece if they want to participate. We'll do that after our spotlight dance and the cake-cutting and use it as a segue to invite our guests onto the dance floor. Just a thought.

princessleia22

Yeah, that's too much if you do them all solo/spotlight dances. We only did 60 seconds of our first dance as a solo/spotlight dance.  We did father/daughter dance and mother/son dances, but we had DJ announce the dance and say that everyone was invited to join us on the dance floor.  So, I still got that memorable dance with my dad to a special song, but it wasn't a solo dance that our guests had to be bored during.  That didn't make it any less special.  And my photographer was awesome and still got great photos of the special dances, even with other people on the dance floor with us.

PrettyGirlLost

AtomicBlonde said:

Personally, I'd feel a little awkward if I was eating with the rest of my table while the bride was dancing with a troupe of different people.  I wouldn't know whether to watch her, talk to my neighbors, or enjoy my meal.

Do these extra dances with your parents have to be spotlight dances?  If they don't, why not just have the DJ space these special songs out throughout the entire time the dance floor is open, and then just dance with that parent then?  You'll still get your special dances with each individual, but you avoid the issue of boring your guests, because they have the option of dancing as well.

After 30+ weddings I have no problem finishing my meal, while glancing up at intervals to watch the spotlight dances, and quietly continuing my conversations.

As a guest I really, really prefer that the spotlight dances be done at the beginning of the reception (like during the salad course if you are having a sit down meal) or just as dinner is winding down, and then the dance floor is opened and free for the rest of the night.

I agree with PP's that in this case, OP, that's way too many spotlight dances.  As a guest I don't want to sit through a million spotlight dances and toasts, and garter tosses, etc etc.  It disrupts the flow of the party. 

Either do a single song were all these VIP's "cut in" so you can dance with all of them, then let your DH dance with his mom.  Or limit the spotlight dances to you and your dad, then your DH and his mom, and during slow songs during the rest of the reception dance with all those other ppl.

ETA: I think it's fine to do your first dance with your husband, then 2 parent spotlight dances.  That's pretty typical.

[Deleted User]

Wayyyyyy too many dances. Your guests won't care and will be bored.
This is the reason why we aren't doing any dances. Too many bad experiences from previous weddings.

Honestly, you can do your special dances while the guests are dancing around you.