Spinoff poll- "causing a scene"

thisismynickname2

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So then NO.   Your answer is NO.  

Stuck in box.

Excuse me, but it's up to me, NOT YOU, to decide what my answer is.  And I said I wasn't voting in the poll.  My answer is NOT "NO."

Of course you get to answer how you want.    


But was the above post was incorrect?   The OP asked if anyone had witnessed a scene.   You haven't witnessed a scene.   

I guess I could say, "I haven't eaten enough cheesy poofs today," but that doesn't answer the actual question - and you still wouldn't be able to tell me how to post. 

You guys... you're causing a scene. 

SP29

A small scene occurred at my wedding- but I didn't see it. It was a spontaneous one.

My grandma doesn't love my aunt's husband (though they've been married 20+ years), and the feeling is mutual. My aunt and uncle had a few drinks at the wedding. My grandma doesn't drink, but she doesn't need alcohol to get riled up and speak her mind. My uncle will make snide or passive-aggressive comments about things and my grandma will retort back. My aunt then gets defensive over her husband. Apparently my aunt and grandma were yelling at each other, and clothing was grabbed in a fist. Fortunately my dad was there and told them to knock it off or get out.

OurWildKingdom

A lot of random silliness, but nothing that could be considered a scene.

My brother and teenage cousins threw little liquid balls from the flower arrangements (think tiny bath beads with thinner membranes) at each other at one cousin's wedding. My aunt (MOB) was not impressed.

At the same wedding, my Dad and my uncle (FOB) sang "Werewolves of London." (The videographer caught it, so my guess is that there's footage somewhere on YouTube.) 

At my brother's wedding, another cousin, my BFF from high school, and I were trying to get my then-BF out on the dance floor, so we pushed him out there, still in his seat.

At a yet another cousin's wedding, my Dad took off his tie and wrapped it around his forehead.

As if you couldn't tell, my family gets a little goofy when we're all together.

climbingsingle

Jen4948 said:

climbingwife said:

Jen4948 said:

flantastic said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

I think that's the whole point. People get so worried so often about the potential for "scenes" and then nothing happens publicly, and people manage to get along, because generally people don't want to make the B&G uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, sometimes "scenes" do happen, even despite the couple's and hosts' best efforts to prevent and deal with them, so I don't think worrying about the potential for "scenes" to happen is unwarranted.

Are you actively worrying about a potential scene at your future wedding? 

I can think of some scenarios that can turn into "scenes."

Girl. Really?

Also, you've never witnessed a scene. So then, the answer to the question asked is NO. This shouldn't be so hard. 

charlotte989875

I answered puppy gifs because we need more of them. 

Ive never witnessed major scenes. Drunken arguments, hookups, crying, etc, but nothing major. Hs brother (best man) and his cousins all took their shirts off and danced around me, although this happens at every family wedding so wouldn't really count that as a scene. 

ernursej

At a friend's wedding, her Uncle just stood up during the reception and walked over to the podium unannounced. He grabbed the mic, stated he hated everyone and then puked all over the podium. The bride rolled with it and announced that there was clean up needed on aisle 5. It was completely unexpected and not at all something she was worried about happening.

OurWildKingdom

ernursej said:

At a friend's wedding, her Uncle just stood up during the reception and walked over to the podium unannounced. He grabbed the mic, stated he hated everyone and then puked all over the podium. The bride rolled with it and announced that there was clean up needed on aisle 5. It was completely unexpected and not at all something she was worried about happening.

Holy Toledo! 

ernursej

@OurWildKingdom - yup! he apparently doesn't usually drink and was pretty much intoxicated when this happened.

missJeanLouise

I wish FH were here so I could ask him. He used to be a banquet server and has seen a lot of weddings. He told me once they caught the bride and one of the groomsmen, may have been best man, making out in a supply closet. A scene followed.

Edited for grammar

tigerlily6

Mild scene only. Groom's father began to sob during his congratulatory speech at the reception, and groom proceeded to hug him and they sobbed together. Like, loud, uncontrollable weeping. For several minutes straight. The bride finally had to pat her new husband on the back and get him to sit down, and gently thanked the guests for coming.

 BUT, I'm still not sure if it even really qualifies as a "scene" or just a very awkward, albeit harmless, moment. 

lyndausvi

I've worked more weddings than I can remember.  I've attended some 50 on my own outside of work.

Have  I seen a scene?    Yep.    Are they at every wedding?  Hell, no.  I think I've only seen a handful or so.    The few I have seen were mild.  None were buzz kill, ruined the party or anything like that.     

Doesn't mean they aren't some that do escalate to a level that will ruin a wedding, but I'm happy to say they are really few and far between.

photokitty

Yep, several. One fist fight. One FOB taking shots out of a GM's date's cleavage. Two uncles almost getting in a fist fight,  bc one used his hand to nudge another out of a photo. The recently deceased Grandma's last will and testimate was brought to the reception to be signed by other siblings (no prior warning), large verbal fight broke out, almost got physical. So inappropriate!!

I could go on, but will stop to protect the innocent.

lovesclimbing

Nope, haven't seen any. I've attended eight or nine weddings. 

MesmrEwe

Yep - been around... watched... got the horror stories after the fact...  defused some...  BTDT...  The one that comes to mind though...

The "greatest" scene was from someone I worked with that - he had a pretty major TBI but he and I got along great, we partnered up for work frequently because we could work off of eachother's energy fairly well for instructing.  Apparently he'd caused a MAJOR scene at SIL/BIL's wedding years before (I wasn't in the picture at that point), invited an incredibly young gal to go along as his +1 who had NO idea what she was getting into and knew no one there, animated on the dance floor, left a hand-me-down gift outside (I'd have been happy to have gotten something like it, SIL not so much) with a strange note (remember TBI - filters can be a challenge) such that DH FORBID him from attending ours (like "Wedding is off" he's not to be invited level!).  Shortly before our wedding I think someone mentioned/asked if he was invited from our instructor crew and I honestly think that was his tipping point when he found out he wasn't and committed suicide six weeks before our wedding..  He just wanted to be included...  Everyone told me there wasn't anything I could have done, but I knew better, he was in a manic phase and finding out he wasn't invited was all it took to push the edge.  I honestly don't think for a second he'd have "made a scene" at our wedding like he supposedly did at SIL/BIL's, but - perspective - never know the internal battle that some people are facing, kindness and compassion sometimes are more valuable...

lnixon8

MesmrEwe said:

Yep - been around... watched... got the horror stories after the fact...  defused some...  BTDT...  The one that comes to mind though...

The "greatest" scene was from someone I worked with that - he had a pretty major TBI but he and I got along great, we partnered up for work frequently because we could work off of eachother's energy fairly well for instructing.  Apparently he'd caused a MAJOR scene at SIL/BIL's wedding years before (I wasn't in the picture at that point), invited an incredibly young gal to go along as his +1 who had NO idea what she was getting into and knew no one there, animated on the dance floor, left a hand-me-down gift outside (I'd have been happy to have gotten something like it, SIL not so much) with a strange note (remember TBI - filters can be a challenge) such that DH FORBID him from attending ours (like "Wedding is off" he's not to be invited level!).  Shortly before our wedding I think someone mentioned/asked if he was invited from our instructor crew and I honestly think that was his tipping point when he found out he wasn't and committed suicide six weeks before our wedding..  He just wanted to be included...  Everyone told me there wasn't anything I could have done, but I knew better, he was in a manic phase and finding out he wasn't invited was all it took to push the edge.  I honestly don't think for a second he'd have "made a scene" at our wedding like he supposedly did at SIL/BIL's, but - perspective - never know the internal battle that some people are facing, kindness and compassion sometimes are more valuable...

Jesus.

thisismynickname2

Wow, @MesmrEwe
How awful.

cupcait927

So I just remember that there was a sort of scene at my wedding, but I wasn't made aware of it until the next day. The SO of one of my girlfriends got super pissed at her for BS reasons on their way to my wedding. When they got to our venue, he screamed at her in car in the parking lot and then proceeded to start walking away from the venue and down the road. Mind you, we got married at a winery in the middle of nowhere so I have no idea where he was going to walk to. He didn't come back until after the ceremony was over and I'm still not sure if he went into the cocktail hour. He sat in the car during dinner and I just assumed that he hadn't come with her, since I hadn't seen him once the entire time. She came over to me and said her goodbyes right after dinner was over because he wouldn't let her stay. I heard the whole story later, as the group of friends that knew what was going on were very careful to make sure I didn't know, so that I wouldn't worry.

thisismynickname2

cupcait927 said:

So I just remember that there was a sort of scene at my wedding, but I wasn't made aware of it until the next day. The SO of one of my girlfriends got super pissed at her for BS reasons on their way to my wedding. When they got to our venue, he screamed at her in car in the parking lot and then proceeded to start walking away from the venue and down the road. Mind you, we got married at a winery in the middle of nowhere so I have no idea where he was going to walk to. He didn't come back until after the ceremony was over and I'm still not sure if he went into the cocktail hour. He sat in the car during dinner and I just assumed that he hadn't come with her, since I hadn't seen him once the entire time. She came over to me and said her goodbyes right after dinner was over because he wouldn't let her stay. I heard the whole story later, as the group of friends that knew what was going on were very careful to make sure I didn't know, so that I wouldn't worry.

What's interesting about your post is that so many brides-to-be are worried about people ruining "their day" with a scene. This is a good example of people who handled their shit behind the scenes so as to not interfere with a wedding.  It sucks this happened to your friend, but it was nice that people didn't trouble you with the drama. 

kmmssg

@OurWildKingdom - I seriously almost spit pop all over my compter screen (at work) over the Werewolves of London. My boss (best boss everrrr) wanted to know what was so funny but I didn't tell him what I was doing. That is hilarious.

cupcait927

@thisismynickname Exactly. We only had a 50 person guest list and I still had no idea that any of this was going on. Not that I would've gotten upset that they were causing any sort of scene (rather I would've immediately comforted my friend and done what I could to diffuse the situation) but my friends wanted to make sure that I had nothing to worry about. Unless someone is flipping tables over or screaming obscenities on the dance floor, I highly doubt the couple will have any idea that there's drama going on.

ahoywedding

OurWildKingdom said:

A lot of random silliness, but nothing that could be considered a scene.
...

At a yet another cousin's wedding, my Dad took off his tie and wrapped it around his forehead.

As if you couldn't tell, my family gets a little goofy when we're all together.

EVERY. SINGLE. family wedding. At one wedding, someone found a scissors and cut all of the ties (yes, while tied around foreheads).

ahoywedding

Also at one wedding, two of the GMs were twin brothers. My sister hooked up with one of them, but couldn't remember which. The groom texted her the next day "My brother has your (random item from her purse, I forget)." She had to reply "...which one?"

climbingsingle

cupcait927 said:

So I just remember that there was a sort of scene at my wedding, but I wasn't made aware of it until the next day. The SO of one of my girlfriends got super pissed at her for BS reasons on their way to my wedding. When they got to our venue, he screamed at her in car in the parking lot and then proceeded to start walking away from the venue and down the road. Mind you, we got married at a winery in the middle of nowhere so I have no idea where he was going to walk to. He didn't come back until after the ceremony was over and I'm still not sure if he went into the cocktail hour. He sat in the car during dinner and I just assumed that he hadn't come with her, since I hadn't seen him once the entire time. She came over to me and said her goodbyes right after dinner was over because he wouldn't let her stay. I heard the whole story later, as the group of friends that knew what was going on were very careful to make sure I didn't know, so that I wouldn't worry.

Those are good friends! 

I, too, found out after my wedding that some drama had taken place. A bunch of my friends rented a house right near my venue. They had asked one friend (L) if she wanted in, and she declined. At the very last minute, L decided she wanted in on the house. My friends rearranged everything to accommodate her. When L arrived at the house, she literally had a meltdown over the fact that her bedroom had a pull-out bed. She CRIED. This is a 35 year old woman. Crying that she had a pull-out bed. She basically acted like an asshole all weekend, even after someone switched rooms with her. My friends didn't want to tell me, but it eventually came up about a month later. And I no longer speak to L (this was the proverbial straw with this woman). 

OliveOilsMom

There was almost some trouble at my brother's wedding when the MOH accused me of taking the B&G's bottle of champagne during the limo ride.  Bitch, please!  I brought my own booze, I knew I would need it to get through that day!  And besides, since when does vodka & cranberry or zombies (bright blue for those not in the know) in clear glasses resemble champagne? 

Turns out the limo driver held onto the bottle until the first stop for photos, so that there could be proper pictures taken with the photographer.  But did I get an apology?  Nope!

Kahlyla

climbingwife said:

I've witnessed a mild scene. A friend of the bride's was very, very drunk and she was emotional and crying. She kept leaving her table to grab people on the dance floor to cry to. 

And that's it, out of the dozens and dozens of weddings I've attended. I've seen some tacky shit, but nothing else I would consider a scene. 

This - minus the grabbing people on the dance floor. She hid in a back room and eventually passed out, I think. This was at a friend's wedding that I was in (she was as well), and I think the only people who really knew were members of the bridal party.

YogaSandy

Will read the comments - but posting first, so apologies if the thread has taken a turn. 

I was MOH at my childhood BFFs wedding. She moved away just before high school but we stayed close and went to the same university. 

BF (now DH) didn't know many people at the wedding. He had recently met a few of the wedding party members. He didn't realize a BM had the same first name as me. So he leaves me at our table to go to the washroom (located in the hallway). A GM is looking upset. DH asks him what is wrong. GM tells him myfirstname just got caught having sex in the woman's washroom by two old ladies with someone who crashed the wedding.  DH freaked out. He says, "I just left her at the table."  GM didn't realize DH didn't realize we both had the same name. DH comes back into the hall. I'm sitting at the table with my sister. DH tells me the story. I explain it was probably the other BM named my name. 

So somehow (don't know who told her) the bride finds out. She confronts BM because she felt it was inappropriate and her 4 yo niece (FG) could have been the one to walk in. BM is angry. Starts yelling. Bride kicks her out. She tells bride, "it was a joke. Relax. F off." (Paraphrasing. This was 14 years ago). They argue. Bride punches BM. BM leaves.

Wedding winds down. DH and I go back to our hotel. I think (could be wrong) that the rest of the WP and bride and groom stayed there too. Either way, for some reason (don't remember - maybe I never knew - I wasn't there) the groom (I think) and definitely GM got in a fist fight with guys from another WP also staying there. Someone definitely had a black eye the next day. 

While that was happening, DH and I are in our room. I peed (only pee, I swear). I flushed the toilet. It over flowed everywhere. I'm standing in a pool of water, in my BM dress, taking the back off the toilet, calling for DH to call the front desk. 

YogaSandy

There was some goofiness at my wedding, but the girl was probably very embarrassed. DH invited a friend of his who had moved away. His SO came with him. No one knew her (I don't think they'd been dating that long). She appeared to have beautiful long blonde hair. It was clipped up nice, curled, a bit fancy. So they were dancing. He dipped her back. Her extension clip fell off (the only reason I mentioned they hadn't been together long and no one knew her - no one knew her hair was actually short). He picked it up. Put it on his own head, and refused to give it back to her. I guess it wasn't horrible, because they got married two years later. 

And, she became my new BFF that night. MIL was driving us to our bed and breakfast and offered to give them a ride to their hotel (small town - not tonnes of cabs and we were going in that direction). She told me I was the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. 

laurad75

YogaSandy said:

Will read the comments - but posting first, so apologies if the thread has taken a turn. 

I was MOH at my childhood BFFs wedding. She moved away just before high school but we stayed close and went to the same university. 

BF (now DH) didn't know many people at the wedding. He had recently met a few of the wedding party members. He didn't realize a BM had the same first name as me. So he leaves me at our table to go to the washroom (located in the hallway). A GM is looking upset. DH asks him what is wrong. GM tells him myfirstname just got caught having sex in the woman's washroom by two old ladies with someone who crashed the wedding.  DH freaked out. He says, "I just left her at the table."  GM didn't realize DH didn't realize we both had the same name. DH comes back into the hall. I'm sitting at the table with my sister. DH tells me the story. I explain it was probably the other BM named my name. 

So somehow (don't know who told her) the bride finds out. She confronts BM because she felt it was inappropriate and her 4 yo niece (FG) could have been the one to walk in. BM is angry. Starts yelling. Bride kicks her out. She tells bride, "it was a joke. Relax. F off." (Paraphrasing. This was 14 years ago). They argue. Bride punches BM. BM leaves.

Wedding winds down. DH and I go back to our hotel. I think (could be wrong) that the rest of the WP and bride and groom stayed there too. Either way, for some reason (don't remember - maybe I never knew - I wasn't there) the groom (I think) and definitely GM got in a fist fight with guys from another WP also staying there. Someone definitely had a black eye the next day. 

While that was happening, DH and I are in our room. I peed (only pee, I swear). I flushed the toilet. It over flowed everywhere. I'm standing in a pool of water, in my BM dress, taking the back off the toilet, calling for DH to call the front desk. 

The bride punched a BM.  These stories are amazing.  Please keep them coming.  

debbeau

At my first wedding my brother got naked and jumped in the swimming pool outside of the reception site. He then proceeded to come back in and sit in a chair at the reception bare naked.

I was more worried about the tux since I was paying for it. He told me not to worry he took it off first.

julieanne912

I found this out about a month later, but at our wedding, H's sister and his BM were getting a little touchy feely (nothing crazy, just a little too handsy and not entirely appropriate for 2 people who are in committed/married relationships with other people).  H's stepmom took pictures of the touchyness (she and H's sister aren't the best of friends). H's sister found out, took the camera and deleted the pictures.  Stepmom got a bit upset that she did that, and H's mom confronted her, and now they're still not really talking to each other.  Again, I knew nothing about it til later on.  

Only other minor drama I had to be involved in was, about 15 minutes before the ceremony was to begin, we were hanging out inside the barn since that's where the bar was and we finished pictures early.  H's mom saw the seating arrangements by looking at the escort cards that were already arranged by alphabetical order outside, and saw her brother and sister in law were at their same table. The tables were banquet style, that seated 16 people, and while I knew the sister in law and H's mom don't get along the best, I figured they could be grown ups and sit at opposite ends of the table.  She comes up to me and asks me if I can rearrange them to a different table, which meant figuring out who to swap them with, and finding the escort cards and a pen, and rewriting them myself, and getting them up on the board before people saw.  My mom found the cards, but then they walked in and it was too late.  I was just a bit annoyed about it, especially since H signed off on the seating arrangements ahead of time.  In hindsight I should have just said "no, sorry, too late".  

But yeah, I wasn't worried about anybody causing such a scene that it would "ruin" my wedding.  Worrying about stuff like that is a waste of time, you can't control other people.