Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Duty for my moderately developmentally delayed autistic nephew

Greetings,

My sister has 6 children all whom I love dearly. Everyone has a part in our wedding except E, my developmentally delayed autistic nephew. I'm trying to think of a job he could have to make him feel special. He is 12 but really struggles with reading and has a severe speech impediment. Due to the autism he gets overwhelmed very easily so I don't think an usher or scripture reader would work. He is very near and dear to my heart and I want him to be in my wedding because he means the world to me. I'm just struggling as to what. Any ideas would be great! I'm open to non traditional ideas as well. 

Re: Duty for my moderately developmentally delayed autistic nephew

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited April 2016
    Don't give him, or anyone else at your wedding, a "job" because "jobs" don't make anyone "feel special."

    Why not just ask him to stand up with you as a bridesman? All he would have to do is walk up and down the aisle and pose for some photos.  Is that something he can handle?
    InLoveInQueensMairePoppyKnottie1452098987
  • What "jobs" did you assign to your sister's other children?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    [Deleted User]
  • I guess jobs isn't the correct word. I'm looking for ways to include him in the wedding party. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • The only way to have him in the wedding party then would be to put him in the wedding party. If you make him one of your attendants, he only needs to walk down the aisle and stand. Is that not something he can do?
    image
    OurWildKingdomJen4948OliveOilsMomMairePoppy
  • SP29SP29
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Could he walk down the aisle and then take a seat in the front row if standing up with you at the alter would be too much?

    He would have a bout and be with you in formal photos.
    ernursejOurWildKingdomOliveOilsMomlc07
  • Let me rephrase my question.  How did you include your other nieces and nephews?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Let me rephrase my question.  How did you include your other nieces and nephews?
    Are your other nieces and nephews in the wedding party or readers?  Or are they bubble passer-outers and guest book attendants?
    Knottie1452098987
  • If you really want to include him, make sure it's something that if he gets bored with it or seems to be getting overwhelmed, that he can go & sit down and it won't impact anything. Like have him and another child pass out the programs or if you are doing bubbles or something else as you exit, maybe he can help pass them out.
  • Erikan73 said:
    If you really want to include him, make sure it's something that if he gets bored with it or seems to be getting overwhelmed, that he can go & sit down and it won't impact anything. Like have him and another child pass out the programs or if you are doing bubbles or something else as you exit, maybe he can help pass them out.
    No.  A job is not an honor.  Especially not a job that a basket can do just as well.
    Knottie1452098987
  • @adk19, I never said to give him a job, my impression of the OP that she wanted to include him but knew that certain things like doing a reading would possibly be too much for him. I suggested the items I did because having a mentally delayed autistic family member (and I know not all autistic individuals have the same issues), my family member can handle a lot if it's something that he's into. But sometimes his attention span can last all of 60 seconds. So by having it be "something that can be done by a basket" if he decides he doesn't want to do it, the family isn't left trying to scramble to fill in for what he was suppose to do. But if he's into, he feels like he's doing a part of the big day like his siblings/cousins.
    Moppet82
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    His parents should be able to help you decide how to include their son.

    BM and GM walk down the aisle and stand with the couple or sit in the front row for the ceremony. Your nephew could walk with one of siblings if they are in the wp. If your Dad is walking you down the aisle, your nephew could escort your mother or other familiar VIP to her seat. If your nephew decides the day of the wedding that he'd rather sit with his parents, so be it. He'll still have a bout, which distinguishes him as a guest of honor and he can be included in the wp pictures, if he's able.
                
    OurWildKingdomSP29lnixon8[Deleted User]
  • lnixon8lnixon8
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    Ask his parents. They will know whether or not he can handle being in the wedding party.  There may be things that you wouldn't even think of (his attire) that could be a dealbreaker


    OurWildKingdom
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards