Please help me figure out what to do with my father's wife during the processional. Please bear with my through my family drama...
My parents divorced about 10 years ago over infidelity and my father went on to marry the woman. She's fine as a person and we are cordial to another, and even friendly when my dad is watching. My dad married her a few years ago prior to both of my sisters' weddings in order for her to be officially recognized in their weddings. However, they did not include her in their processionals and it caused a LOT of problems. It is very important to him that she be included in the processional and when she wasn't for my sisters, my dad lashed out at my mother and had her crying for much of the evening for both of the weddings.
In order to avoid this, I had planned on giving SM a courtesy escort prior to everyone else in our wedding but when my FI found out, he was irate. He feels like SM's presence in the processional would demean or insult our relationships with our own mothers by having SM walking before them. It has been one of the few things he has had an opinion on in this entire planning process. I frankly do not care if she is included or not--let's be honest--I won't see it and no one will remember! My father (who is paying for the entire wedding), wants her to be included and will NOT budge.
If we had lots of family to walk down, I would have them walk in between SM and Mothers, but we have no grandparents and all siblings are already part of the wedding. I had thought maybe we could add a lot of space between SM and moms, and change songs. We want to do a unity candle and even flower ceremony to moms (not SM) to make our mothers stand-out and feel special, but FI still insists that she not be in processional before our mothers.
Any advice on how to handle this?