Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal shower at the bride's house?

My sisters offered to host a bridal shower for me. I was talking to one of them yesterday, and she said they were having difficulty finding a place to host it (she has a small house and other sister is in a different state).

I don't want them to have to rent a place.

Would it be ok for me to offer up my house? It's big enough for the guest list, but I don't want it to look like I'm hosting my own shower. Invitations will come from them and RSVPs will go to them. They're doing all of the planning.

What do you think? If you got an invite to a shower at the bride's address would you side-eye it?
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Re: Bridal shower at the bride's house?

  • I wouldn't side eye it.  I'm very thrifty, so I'd appreciate not wanting to rent a place, if that can be avoided.  That's probably what I'd assume was the case if I was invited to a shower at the bride's house.
  • drglitter said:
    My sisters offered to host a bridal shower for me. I was talking to one of them yesterday, and she said they were having difficulty finding a place to host it (she has a small house and other sister is in a different state).

    I don't want them to have to rent a place.

    Would it be ok for me to offer up my house? It's big enough for the guest list, but I don't want it to look like I'm hosting my own shower. Invitations will come from them and RSVPs will go to them. They're doing all of the planning.

    What do you think? If you got an invite to a shower at the bride's address would you side-eye it?
    Totally fine.  It actually makes a lot of sense if it's a good size space and you won't have to move the gifts to a secondary location.  Go ahead.
  • It depends on how much I know about the situation and why it's being hosted at the bride's house. If I were aware that in a situation such as the one you mention that the hostesses couldn't find another place to do it because of budgetary reasons, or that no other place in the area was available because of, say, another major event taking place, then I wouldn't side-eye it. 

    If it's meant to be a surprise for the bride, I probably wouldn't side-eye the shower taking place at her home (although I hate surprise parties, so I might side-eye that!)

    But if I wasn't aware of such circumstances, I'd reserve judgment until I did know why the bride's home was chosen. And if it turns out that the bride is in fact hosting or the hostesses couldn't be bothered to find another place, then I would side-eye it.
  • I wouldn't side-eye it.  Just make sure on the invitations (email or physical) that it clearly states that it's being hosted by your sisters/bridesmaids
  • My sister and I have been discussing this too @drglitter.  She's hosting it and lives in Florida and was worried people would think it was inappropriate to hold it at my house.  I assumed since she was from out of town, people would understand.  She has one more venue option to check out yet before she decides.
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  • I hosted a shower at a bride's house once. The vast majority of guests lived within easy driving distance of bride while I lived over 90 minutes away. I therefore had the choice of having it at her house or renting a space. It seemed to work out fine and no detectable side-eyeing occurred. 
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  • Thanks everybody. I figured I was probably overthinking it, but figured I'd check before I did something unintentionally tacky.
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  • All the showers I've been to have been at the bride's house.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I wouldn't side-eye it.  Just make sure on the invitations (email or physical) that it clearly states that it's being hosted by your sisters/bridesmaids
    ^ This. If you got that covered, I think you're absolutely fine. 
                        


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  • As long as it's clear that the bride is not hosting the shower and she is not involved with any preparations for it, this is fine.
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  • We started doing this in my family - and it makes it a lot more convenient for everyone!


  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I wouldn't side-eye it, especially since it'll clearly state your sister is hosting.  I'd be more intrigued than anything else; until coming to TK I didn't know showers were held in people's homes, I've always wondered what a home-shower would be like.  Definitely wouldn't side-eye it though.
  • eileenrob said:
    I wouldn't side-eye it, especially since it'll clearly state your sister is hosting.  I'd be more intrigued than anything else; until coming to TK I didn't know showers were held in people's homes, I've always wondered what a home-shower would be like.  Definitely wouldn't side-eye it though.
    That's funny. I've only ever been to one shower that wasn't in someone's home.
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  • edited May 2016
    eileenrob said:
    I wouldn't side-eye it, especially since it'll clearly state your sister is hosting.  I'd be more intrigued than anything else; until coming to TK I didn't know showers were held in people's homes, I've always wondered what a home-shower would be like.  Definitely wouldn't side-eye it though.
    I've been to a lot of showers (big family), and it's been about 2/3 in a rented venue and 1/3 in someone's house. Depends on how many are invited.
  • I think this is fine IF you (the bride) can handle not hosting in your own home. I know some people definitely couldn't handle this. 

    Of course you can (and should!) clean your house before the shower. But that's it. You shouldn't be taking coats and offering beverages, the way you would if you were hosting the party. In fact, if your sister can have someone get you out of the house for all the setup and the beginning of the party, so you can show up a little late as the guest of honor, that would probably come across best in terms of making it clear you're not hosting. 
  • MandyMost said:
    I think this is fine IF you (the bride) can handle not hosting in your own home. I know some people definitely couldn't handle this. 

    Of course you can (and should!) clean your house before the shower. But that's it. You shouldn't be taking coats and offering beverages, the way you would if you were hosting the party. In fact, if your sister can have someone get you out of the house for all the setup and the beginning of the party, so you can show up a little late as the guest of honor, that would probably come across best in terms of making it clear you're not hosting. 
    This was actually one of my concerns too. I host a lot of gatherings at my house, and I'm very used to the "Oh let me take your coat, what would you like to drink, here's a place to sit!" thing when people come in, so, I guess I'll just have to reprogram my brain for a day.

    Leaving the house for the setup sounds like a plan too. Thanks!
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