Names after marriage - what did you do?

SaintPaulGal

glasgowtolondon said:

Anyone's FI/H change their name? Either to take your name or for you both to change to a new surname or hyphenate?

This is what we are doing!  (Well, almost certainly.  We still have some time to finalize the decision before next summer.) 

 For myself personally, I am completely opposed to the patriarchal, woman-as-property implications of the wife giving up her name to take her husband’s.  My mom kept her name in the early 80s when she married my father, and their kids have both their names hyphenated.  So my name has always been Ms. Mom-Dad.  Both names are long and complicated to spell or pronounce, though, so even though I am completely on board with the symbolism it can be kind of a burden sometimes.  (“Ok, Comcast representative…get ready.  That’s ‘papa’ ‘oscar’ ‘sierra…’”

 My partner and I are nontraditional and very egalitarian, so we have decided to amalgamate parts of our respective names into a new last name that is pleasant sounding and easy to spell.  I like the idea that we are both becoming something new together: two people coming together to make one family.  I kind of hate the idea that new people we meet will assume I just took his name, but I guess there will always be people with assumptions regardless of what choices we make.

 We may wind up chucking the idea and keeping our own names—mostly if I back out and decide not to give up my current name--but we really dig this idea and I’m relatively certain I’ll stick with it.