Wedding Etiquette Forum

Etiquette on Registry Wording

Im having a tough time knowing what wording to use on my gift registry section for my wedding info site. We cannot possibly take any physical gifts, so we are just asking guests not to bring them. While we wouldn't mind cash gifts, getting gifts are not important to us and we don't mind no gifts at all.

Can anyone please suggest any sort of finish for this? Or change or wording? I've never been great at this sort of thing.

thanks for any advice you can offer!!!

What we wrote:

"We are so happy that you'll be able to join us for our wedding. As many of you know, we are constantly traveling and have little to no extra room in our small traveling home. Additionally, we hope to be further downsizing next year to smaller modes of travel.

While we are absolutely delighted you would think of us, we unfortunately have no room for traditional wedding gifts.

The presence of your company is truly the best gift we could ask for. "

Re: Etiquette on Registry Wording

  • Thank you for your reply! So, we should go the "word of mouth" route and ask people to please not bring gifts? We seriously have no space for even a toaster...we are just both concerned some may not get the message and may bring things that we won't know what to do with.

    I know it's a bit of a strange situation.

    Also, I'd never ask anyone for trip money or cash, I would be mortified! I only mentioned that we dont care about that either way, but physical gifts would be a major burden on us.

    More than anything we just want our guests to have a great time celebrating with us.
  • Oh, I just saw this one! So we really should just leave off the registry section instead of specifically not asking for gifts? Thanks to both of you. I was really fretting about what to do. I suppose we could just return any physical gifts that are given, even though I'd feel bad about it....I just hope it doesn't come to that.

    As for showers, we won't be having any pre-wedding parties or bachelor/ette parties, so that won't be a problem. Just the wedding and reception.

    Thanks again! If there is anything else that would ease this situation feel free to suggest. For now I'll remove the registry section completely.
  • WallflowerWallflower member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2016
    You are probably right that I shouldn't feel guilty for returning or donating a gift. I definitely hate the thought of it and don't want to offend anyone. The whole idea of a registry is stressful in the first place.

    Its great there is a forum like this to ask advice! My family wasn't sure what we should do.
    photokittyJediElizabeth
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    adk19 said:
    Thank you for your reply! So, we should go the "word of mouth" route and ask people to please not bring gifts? We seriously have no space for even a toaster...we are just both concerned some may not get the message and may bring things that we won't know what to do with.

    I know it's a bit of a strange situation.

    Also, I'd never ask anyone for trip money or cash, I would be mortified! I only mentioned that we dont care about that either way, but physical gifts would be a major burden on us.

    More than anything we just want our guests to have a great time celebrating with us.
    If you get a toaster, you send a very nice thank you note to the gift-giver.  Then you donate the toaster to your Thrift Store of choice.  Some people are just going to give you a gift no matter what you tell them.  The gift has done its job telling you how much the giver thinks of you, how much they love you and want great things for you, and you should feel free to release the gift to bring someone else joy.

    Conversation.
    So, what gift should I get you for your wedding?
    Oh, we're downsizing to do more traveling, we really don't need gifts.  Just being surrounded by all our loved ones at our wedding is all we really want.  But thank you so much for thinking of us.

    They could return it instead of donating it if they want. They would get a store credit and depending on the store, they may be able to use that. Definitely a thank you note immediately never mentioning that you won't use the gift.
  • Yes, that would not be a bad plan. We aren't having a large wedding (only 50ish guests) so a few physical gifts could be handled like that. I think the word of mouth idea is pretty good, combined with this solution.

    Does anyone have any ideas on if that guests asks after about the gift? Like, "How are you enjoying your toaster?"
  • You are probably right that I shouldn't feel guilty for returning or donating a gift. I definitely hate the thought of it and don't want to offend anyone. The whole idea of a registry is stressful in the first place.

    Its great there is a forum like this to ask advice! My family wasn't sure what we should do.
    It's more offensive to presume that everyone is going to give you a gift.  It's more offensive to mention gifts without them being asked about.  As long as you're thankful when receiving the gift and properly thank the giver, the item is now yours to do with what you please.  Give the toaster to your mom.  Give the wine glasses to your 21 year old cousin.  Return the crystal vase to the store for store credit.  Donate the "Bride&Groom" engraved picture frame to the Goodwill.
  • WallflowerWallflower member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2016
    Well, I've definitely never said I expected everyone, or anyone for that matter, to give a gift. However, it is very common for people to give gifts at weddings, is it not?

    We don't want gifts and equally don't want our guests to waste their time or money buying them. That's a completely different topic than expecting everyone to give you a gift. I don't believe trying to find the best way to communicate that to guests is offensive. Especially trying to find the best non-offensive way to let them know.
  • Well, I've definitely never said I expected everyone, or anyone for that matter, to give a gift. However, it is very common for people to give gifts at weddings, is it not?

    We don't want gifts and equally don't want our guests to waste their time or money buying them. That's a completely different topic than expecting everyone to give you a gift. I don't believe trying to find the best way to communicate that to guests is offensive. Especially trying to find the best non-offensive way to let them know.
    I'm saying that it's more offensive to Expect a gift than it is offensive to Return or Donate a gift.  But since you're not expecting gifts, you're fine.  Please don't take offense from my posts.  You're doing exactly right.  I just want to make you feel better about worrying that people will get offended if you just can't keep the gifts you give them.  As long as you're thankful for the gift and the meaning behind the gift (i.e. that people love you enough to want to spend their hard-earned money on you), you can do whatever you want with things that you own.
  • adk19 said:
    Well, I've definitely never said I expected everyone, or anyone for that matter, to give a gift. However, it is very common for people to give gifts at weddings, is it not?

    We don't want gifts and equally don't want our guests to waste their time or money buying them. That's a completely different topic than expecting everyone to give you a gift. I don't believe trying to find the best way to communicate that to guests is offensive. Especially trying to find the best non-offensive way to let them know.
    I'm saying that it's more offensive to Expect a gift than it is offensive to Return or Donate a gift.  But since you're not expecting gifts, you're fine.  Please don't take offense from my posts.  You're doing exactly right.  I just want to make you feel better about worrying that people will get offended if you just can't keep the gifts you give them.  As long as you're thankful for the gift and the meaning behind the gift (i.e. that people love you enough to want to spend their hard-earned money on you), you can do whatever you want with things that you own.
    Ok, that's a relief. I was starting to worry I was confused and did something that could be construed as offensive. I couldn't figure it out.

    You have all made me feel WAY better about the situation. I actually feel pretty confident about the situation now. I'll probably still feel a bit guilty if I have to return any gifts, but that's just my nature.
  • adk19 said:
    Well, I've definitely never said I expected everyone, or anyone for that matter, to give a gift. However, it is very common for people to give gifts at weddings, is it not?

    We don't want gifts and equally don't want our guests to waste their time or money buying them. That's a completely different topic than expecting everyone to give you a gift. I don't believe trying to find the best way to communicate that to guests is offensive. Especially trying to find the best non-offensive way to let them know.
    I'm saying that it's more offensive to Expect a gift than it is offensive to Return or Donate a gift.  But since you're not expecting gifts, you're fine.  Please don't take offense from my posts.  You're doing exactly right.  I just want to make you feel better about worrying that people will get offended if you just can't keep the gifts you give them.  As long as you're thankful for the gift and the meaning behind the gift (i.e. that people love you enough to want to spend their hard-earned money on you), you can do whatever you want with things that you own.
    Ok, that's a relief. I was starting to worry I was confused and did something that could be construed as offensive. I couldn't figure it out.

    You have all made me feel WAY better about the situation. I actually feel pretty confident about the situation now. I'll probably still feel a bit guilty if I have to return any gifts, but that's just my nature.
    Glad we could help.  Welcome to The Knot.  And way to go with figuring out how to quote.
    Wallflowermadamerwinernursej
  • Just to echo @adk19 - I highly doubt anyone will inquire after the fact about how you are enjoying a gift; we got a lot of physical gifts, and no one ever asked us about them after. Just be sure to send a thank you note for whatever you receive... 

    And not sure, but is your username your real name? If so, I recommend changing it - internet privacy is a good thing.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • WallflowerWallflower member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2016
    Just to echo @adk19 - I highly doubt anyone will inquire after the fact about how you are enjoying a gift; we got a lot of physical gifts, and no one ever asked us about them after. Just be sure to send a thank you note for whatever you receive... 

    And not sure, but is your username your real name? If so, I recommend changing it - internet privacy is a good thing.
    It's not quite my real name, but it is too close. I've actually been trying to find a way to change it ever since I noticed what the forum listed me as, but haven't found a way, I changed my username under account setting but it didn't affect it. Is there another way?

    I don't want to have to delete my entire account, but I'm not finding any solutions.

    When I created my username I just used my nickname, as I thought it was a log in handle.

    Edit: Wait, when I refreshed right now it updated to just my nickname. Which I changed it to over an hour ago. Hm.
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