Snarky Brides

I HATE My Future SIL's Tattoo

So, my FI's sister/BM is the sibling I'm closest to in his family, but lo and behold, what does she do? She gets the ugliest, GIANT tattoo that covers her entire top half of her arm. It's a circus elephant. AYFKM? 

I was so pissed when I saw it. I want to ask her to cover it up with a professional makeup job the day of the wedding, but my sister (MOH) thinks I should "let her live her truth." Uh, what?

What would you guys do?
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Re: I HATE My Future SIL's Tattoo

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    She may end up hating it too, eventually. But it's not on your body, therefore it's not your concern.
  • I hope this is MUD... if not that's just messed up. Maybe instead of judging her and asking her to cover it up you should ask her about what it means to her and maybe you'll see it in a different light. Or just let it go. It won't change your wedding at all.
    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueensshort+sassy
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I have to add... Regardless of how "ugly" you think the tattoo is, she got it for a reason, whether it was personal (my brother's GF has a large one of an elephant that is very symbolic of a recently deceased relative), or a youthful mistake. As such, it's not your place to a) judge any tattoo on any arm that does not belong to you, or b) ask, suggest, demand, or otherwise compel or urge her to do anything to it. Asking her to cover it up can be perceived as tantamount to trying to suppress her as an individual because her idea of self-expression does not fall in line with what you perceive to be visually appealing.  


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    OurWildKingdomSP29InLoveInQueensshort+sassy
  • bohobrideCAbohobrideCA San Diego, CA member
    100 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    Her tattoo sounds awesome. Let the people you love show their style and personalities off. She's not a doll or a prop. I don't understand brides that get upset when one of their honored guests dyes their hair or gets a tattoo. 

    I don't believe you when you say her tattoo is ugly but your attitude certainly is. 
    OurWildKingdomkimmiinthemittenInLoveInQueens
  • Not your body, not your decision. Listen to your (older?) sister/MOH - she seems to be thinking straight. 
    OurWildKingdomSP29sparklepants41scrunchythief
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would let it go. It is actually really insulting that you would ask her to cover it with make up. Buy her a cardigan if it bothers you that much.
    Second that: buy her a pashmina or fancy cardigan, then let it go.
    downtondivaKnottie1452098987
  • The audacity that some of the props... oops bridesmaids have when they think they can just go off and make decisions about their own bodies.

    OurWildKingdomlnixon8InLoveInQueenskmmssg
  • So, my FI's sister/BM is the sibling I'm closest to in his family, but lo and behold, what does she do? She gets the ugliest, GIANT tattoo that covers her entire top half of her arm. It's a circus elephant. AYFKM? 

    I was so pissed when I saw it. I want to ask her to cover it up with a professional makeup job the day of the wedding, but my sister (MOH) thinks I should "let her live her truth." Uh, what?

    What would you guys do?
    What would I do? Continue to live my life the way I see fit, and let other people live their lives the way they see fit. What the hell does her tattoo have to do with you?
    OurWildKingdomkimmiinthemitten
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Forget about it.

    Her body, her decision. This will not affect your wedding in any way.
    OurWildKingdom
  • OP - you have every right to think whatever you would like about her tattoo, but please don't act on those feelings. You've chosen your wedding party based on the fact that you love them and value the friendship. I would strongly discourage you from asking her to use cover up. You may provide a shawl/cardigan for all members of your wedding party to wear, but she may decide not to wear the whole night and there is a chance she could call you on it as a last minute addition to cover up her tattoo.

    I would personally recommend that you have a glass of wine and spend no more than 10 minutes being irritated/upset about it and then let it go.

    OurWildKingdomkimmiinthemittenshort+sassy
  • Imma be the tacky broad here and suggest you just have her stand with the other arm toward the camera.  >:) 

    In all seriousness, I know that tattoos can be really vulgar or ugly or tacky or classless or whatever adjective you want to use to describe them, but obviously she had a reason for choosing the piece she did and its location. Like @ernursej said, you chose your wedding party because you love them and value their friendships. Don't let frustration over photo ops wreck that.
    OurWildKingdomKnottie1452098987
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    I don't care for tattoos, myself, but I do not worry about any tattoo that is not on me or one of my children.  (OK, I'm still their MOTHER!)
    Last year, my 30-something brother got our family crest tattooed on his calf, and our Mom freaked out a little. I'm not telling her that once I get to my goal weight, I'm having the family crest tattooed on my shoulder blade.
    madamerwindebbeau
  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Imma be the tacky broad here and suggest you just have her stand with the other arm toward the camera.  >:) 

    In all seriousness, I know that tattoos can be really vulgar or ugly or tacky or classless or whatever adjective you want to use to describe them, but obviously she had a reason for choosing the piece she did and its location. Like @ernursej said, you chose your wedding party because you love them and value their friendships. Don't let frustration over photo ops wreck that.
    But this one isn't. I will admit that if a bridesmaid got a tattoo of a swastika I would be giving all of the bridesmaids a pashmina to cover up but then again, I don't associate with poepel that would get something vulgar.
    Knottie1452098987Mircakes
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Imma be the tacky broad here and suggest you just have her stand with the other arm toward the camera.  >:) 

    If it bothers you that much, this is actually one way to gracefully go about getting at least one photo you won't look at and judge for years to come. Tons of traditional bridesmaid poses are taken from the side. Just have that arm be on the side facing away from the camera for a few shots. 

    But look, this is so not a big deal. For a wedding I attended last year, I noticed at the bridal shower that the bride's sister had some interesting sleeves. But, the day of the wedding, that detail just faded into the background. I noticed how beautiful the bridesmaids looked in their dresses, not what ink was or was not on their exposed skin. 
    ________________________________


    OurWildKingdompeachy13
  • So, my FI's sister/BM is the sibling I'm closest to in his family, but lo and behold, what does she do? She gets the ugliest, GIANT tattoo that covers her entire top half of her arm. It's a circus elephant. AYFKM? 

    I was so pissed when I saw it. I want to ask her to cover it up with a professional makeup job the day of the wedding, but my sister (MOH) thinks I should "let her live her truth." Uh, what?

    What would you guys do?
    Build yourself a bridge and get over yourself. Her GIANT tattoo has literally no bearing on you, she's not your prop, she's a human being who's allowed to decorate her body as she sees fit.

    If you ask her to cover it expect your relationship to deteriorate. I'm sure she can feel your horribly judgment just radiating off you, so maybe you won't even have to tell her how ugly you think her tattoo is before you ruin your relationship.

    Repeat this over and over to yourself "what other people do to their bodies has no bearing on me and they are allowed to express themselves in ways they see fit" until you get it through your head that she is her own person and is allowed to express herself however she wants.

    Listen to your sister, if you don't you're going to ruin your relationship, 100%
  • Gotta say, I am pleasantly surprised by your reaction to these responses, OP. Glad PPs gave you the reality check you needed.

    Two of my BMs were (well, still are, obviously) heavily tattooed on their legs and arms. If anything, I think it added some nice color and variety to our wedding photos. The photos show their unique personalities, and I never would have asked them to cover up. 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    My husband has a lot of tattoos and some (most) of them are pretty gross. I love them and I love seeing them in pictures because they're him. He'd look weird without them. He wouldn't look like himself.
    OurWildKingdom
  • If you're that concerned, have your photographer photoshop the tattoo out of photos. After all, those are going to be the only way anyone but you will actually remember that you had a problem with your BM not asking you for permission before she did something to her body. Do you by chance live in Indiana with Governor Pence that also believes women shouldn't be allowed to do whatever they want with their own bodies?
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