Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Break from traditional procession?

My fiancé and I are different in the friend arena; I have four women I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle with, but he has only one person he'd considered as a groomsmen. My fiancé hates the idea of an uneven wedding party but still wants me to be able to honor these ladies as my BMs.

We all pooled our thoughts and came up with this plan:

My sister, the MOH, will be the only one who stands at front with me. 
My 2nd BM is a flower arranger and loves the idea of being a "flower women" and decorating the aisle with petals during her procession.
This gave us the idea that my other BM could carry our rings down the aisle and hold them until they are requested.
The third bridesmaid could release celebratory butterflies during her procession, to add to the whimsical outdoor wedding we have.

They would each get an honored part of the ceremony and then sit down in the honored front row after their procession.

has anyone done something similar? I want this to go smoothly with everyone happy and having fun!
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Re: Break from traditional procession?

  • WallflowerWallflower member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2016
    Jen4948 said:
    Honestly, your FI needs to get over the idea of an uneven wedding party. It's not up to him how many attendants you have. 

    Just make everyone a bridesmaid without trying to be deliberately "untraditional" or "whimsical." As a grown woman, I would not want to be a "flower arranger" or "ring bearer." And some types of butterflies are poisonous. Your venue may not allow any "releases" of flying creatures or things.

    I think you need to start over and delete some of this "whimsical" crap from your plans. Treat your attendants like grown adults you are trying to honor and not like you're doing them a favor by trying to shoehorn them into stupid cutesy juvenile roles because your FI is making out-of-line demands.
    Actually, it's my BMs that came up with these ideas, so they are fully on board. The flower arranger was actually ecstatic at the thought, as she loves flowers. They don't see themselves in juvenile roles and treated themselves as grown adults when coming up with these suggestions.

    So, I'm not "shoe horning" them into anything, as it was their idea. I liked the idea of their enjoyment during the ceremony and it seemed a simple solution where no one would feel bad, FI or BM alike.

    As for the butterflies, I only raise native ones and they are not poisonous. They have special laws for release per state which are very easy to follow. My venue has no issue with it and I enjoy the thought of releasing my adults during the ceremony.
    Knottie1444428745JediElizabethSammiCakes94
  • If they offered and are really into it (and you didn't ask "hey would you want to be my ring bearer"?) I see no problems with it. It wouldn't be my style but if they came up with the idea and you and your FI like it why not?

    However if the only reason you're not having hem be bridesmaids is you because your FI doesn't want you to, I would have some questions about that. 
    Yeah, my friends are actually pretty excited about it. They are a gang of swell and fun women. One of the reasons I couldn't be there without them.

    My FI and I did discuss it extensively before I talked to the ladies about it. He has horrid anxiety and that goes into it, so it partially out of his control feelings wise.

    We just want everyone to be happy and after the brainstorm thought this was the best way.

    In my ideal world they'd be simple traditional bridesmaids, just like I'd always imagined my friends would be, but you can't always get what you want, you know? More than anything I'd like everyone to be happy and have fun.

    So, we tried to turn something disappointing to something positive and fun.


    Has anyone else had a less traditional procession? Any experiences?
  • Honestly, if the BMs really came up with these ideas on their own, then I'd say do whatever floats your boat. Imagining this in my head, though, it reminds me of something out of Portlandia... I am envisioning them all barefoot, wearing flower crowns, skipping down the aisle releasing butterflies and flinging pedals. It looks silly in my head, though that doesn't mean it would be silly in real life. It's just verging on "too whimsical for my taste," but it's not my wedding, so take that with a grain of salt.

    As for uneven sides, though: The whole matchy-matchy, symmetrical bridal party look is out. There is nothing wrong with you having four bridesmaids to your FI's one groomsman. If he is concerned with the processional, I would say just have the best man standing at the front with your FI to begin with (or have them walk in at the same time), and then have your bridesmaids process in before you. If he is concerned with how it will look when you're all standing at the front, he is overthinking it. No one will really care if the sides are uneven. If it is that important to you to have all of these women stand with you, you need to make that 100% clear to your FI.
    I definitely had a giggle when I pictured your Portlandia themed version. It's definitely silly. It would definitely be different than that, more serious for sure.

    Im regretting using the word "whimsical" now, as it keeps popping up in every post! It's not a main theme in my wedding, or really there at all, and was just an offhand discreptor.
    OurWildKingdomKnottie1452098987
  • bohobrideCAbohobrideCA San Diego, CA member
    100 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    I guess I'm having a "less traditional" procession. I have six bridesmaids and a bridesman, FI has a best woman, two groomswomen and two groomsmen. Not sure how they are walking down yet and I would like everyone to sit in the front rows with family, FI is pretty shy and doesn't like being the center of attention so he would like as many people standing as possible. We also had the thought of keeping my MOH and his best woman up with us but we have a long time to figure it out.
  • maeghan said:
    If they offered and are really into it (and you didn't ask "hey would you want to be my ring bearer"?) I see no problems with it. It wouldn't be my style but if they came up with the idea and you and your FI like it why not?

    However if the only reason you're not having hem be bridesmaids is you because your FI doesn't want you to, I would have some questions about that. 
    Yeah, my friends are actually pretty excited about it. They are a gang of swell and fun women. One of the reasons I couldn't be there without them.

    My FI and I did discuss it extensively before I talked to the ladies about it. He has horrid anxiety and that goes into it, so it partially out of his control feelings wise.

    We just want everyone to be happy and after the brainstorm thought this was the best way.

    In my ideal world they'd be simple traditional bridesmaids, just like I'd always imagined my friends would be, but you can't always get what you want, you know? More than anything I'd like everyone to be happy and have fun.

    So, we tried to turn something disappointing to something positive and fun.


    Has anyone else had a less traditional procession? Any experiences?
    Bolded 1: I agree with @charlotte989875. You shouldn't let your FI dictate who or who isn't standing up beside you as your nearest and dearest and most honored, just as you wouldn't make him "pick" more friends to fill out and make even numbers. The groom should have a say in a lot of things for the wedding, but not the number of your bridesmaids. 

    Bolded 2: I love that you are so committed to making other's happy and being a gracious bride. A lot of women struggle with this and get so absorbed in their own vision that they forget about others. If your BMs really like these roles, then that is fine. But I see no reason why they can't all still stand beside you as traditional BMs, regardless of whether they're also bearing flowers, butterflies, rings, etc. Don't feel can't have this just because of a numbers game. 

    I am in a wedding this summer where there will be 4 bridesmaids and 9 groomsmen. In my own wedding there will be 6 on my side and 5 on my FI's. In my grandparent's wedding (over 50 years ago), there were 3 bridesmaids (including the MOH), and the Best Man. It's not about having even sides, it's about having your closest and most honored friends there at your side, and I feel bad that you feel you can't have that. Talk to your FI and maybe see if he won't come around on this -- he may just not know that a LOT of weddings, now and for many years past, have not required matching numbers on each side. 
                        


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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2016
    The bridesmaids traditionally process with the bride.  The groomsmen and the groom do not process.  They wait in the front for the wedding party to arrive.

    For recessional, the bride and groom lead together, the MOH and the best man follow, and the remaining ladies can pair up and walk together, or they can exit one at a time, the way they processed in.

    PLEASE DO NOT RELEASE BUTTERFLIES!  They are living creatures, not props for your wedding.  I find this idea repulsive.
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    OurWildKingdomlnixon8lc07Sherbie25
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    maeghan said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Honestly, your FI needs to get over the idea of an uneven wedding party. It's not up to him how many attendants you have. 

    Just make everyone a bridesmaid without trying to be deliberately "untraditional" or "whimsical." As a grown woman, I would not want to be a "flower arranger" or "ring bearer." And some types of butterflies are poisonous. Your venue may not allow any "releases" of flying creatures or things.

    I think you need to start over and delete some of this "whimsical" crap from your plans. Treat your attendants like grown adults you are trying to honor and not like you're doing them a favor by trying to shoehorn them into stupid cutesy juvenile roles because your FI is making out-of-line demands.
    Actually, it's my BMs that came up with these ideas, so they are fully on board. The flower arranger was actually ecstatic at the thought, as she loves flowers. They don't see themselves in juvenile roles and treated themselves as grown adults when coming up with these suggestions.

    So, I'm not "shoe horning" them into anything, as it was their idea. I liked the idea of their enjoyment during the ceremony and it seemed a simple solution where no one would feel bad, FI or BM alike.

    As for the butterflies, I only raise native ones and they are not poisonous. They have special laws for release per state which are very easy to follow. My venue has no issue with it and I enjoy the thought of releasing my adults during the ceremony.
    Well, if this is what your bridesmaids want to do and they came up with it on their own, then I suppose you can go for it.

    But I still wouldn't release live butterflies. That said, I think you could work butterflies into your decorations or your reception in other ways that would be nice and acceptable.
  • CMGragain said:
    The bridesmaids traditionally process with the bride.  The groomsmen and the groom do not process.  They wait in the front for the wedding party to arrive.

    For recessional, the bride and groom lead together, the MOH and the best man follow, and the remaining ladies can pair up and walk together, or they can exit one at a time, the way they processed in.

    PLEASE DO NOT RELEASE BUTTERFLIES!  They are living creatures, not props for your wedding.  I find this idea repulsive.
    I RAISE butterflies. They are released into the wild after coming to adulthood. They are NOT a just "props" for my wedding, but something I actually care and am passionate about. I love my butterflies, so I see no reason not to include a release during my wedding.
    JediElizabeth
  • Please tell me, what is wrong with releasing adults into their natural habitat once they've matured?
    AddieCake said:
    I'm aghast that people still don't know how awful the idea of a butterfly release is.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think it's fine for your BMs to have these roles, if they want them, but I don't see why they can't all stand up with your during the ceremony, even with the roles.

    This is your decision to make- uneven sides do not matter. FI and best man can be standing up at the front already, or if they process in, best man and bridesmaids can do so individually.

    In our processional, DH processed in with his mother, seated her in the front row, then stood up at the front. Then the best man, then groomsman processed in individual. Then my MOH and bridesmaid, followed by FG&RB, then myself and dad. We did have even numbers (happened by choice- I asked 3 women, only 2 could attend, DH had 2 to start), but they all walked in separately.
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I still don't understand why you can't have traditional bridesmaids. Why is your FI so against this? He "hates" the idea of uneven sides? Tell him to get over it. How ridiculous. 
    madamerwinInLoveInQueensSP29
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    "I RAISE butterflies. They are released into the wild after coming to adulthood."

    So are you timing their metamorphosis so that they come into adulthood on your wedding day? Likely not. You would be holding adults in cages until your wedding day so that you can have a pretty butterfly release (i.e. they are props for your wedding). Or collecting them later so you can have a pretty release. Either way, it's messed up. I would think someone who raises butterflies would understand that...


    This. Also, to me, butterflies are gross. I don't see how people see them differently than other giant flying insects. I'd be freaked out by a butterfly release and would probably unintentionally scream and run if one landed on me.
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    Knottie1452098987lc07
  • WallflowerWallflower member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2016

    "I RAISE butterflies. They are released into the wild after coming to adulthood."

    So are you timing their metamorphosis so that they come into adulthood on your wedding day? Likely not. You would be holding adults in cages until your wedding day so that you can have a pretty butterfly release (i.e. they are props for your wedding). Or collecting them later so you can have a pretty release. Either way, it's messed up. I would think someone who raises butterflies would understand that...

    Actually, if you are experienced in raising butterflies and have many going through the metamorphis procces it's easy to have a few that will be hatching on the wedding day. So no, there won't be just adults hanging around waiting.

    Also, if none of my butterflies hatch on my wedding day? Then there just won't be a release at all, since there are none to release. My outside venue is also a great place to release as it has plenty for butterflies to feed on.

    I love butterflies and enjoy raising them to help bolster the dwindling numbers. I don't really see why releasing hatchlings on the day if they hatch is an issue. They are special to me and I'd be happy they had a part during our wedding.

    There are also no butterfly-phobes in our invited guests.
    Knottie1452098987JediElizabeth
  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I still don't understand why you can't have traditional bridesmaids. Why is your FI so against this? He "hates" the idea of uneven sides? Tell him to get over it. How ridiculous. 
    I agree. I have anxiety too but I still don't see how it affects YOUR friends. If he is anxious that uneven bridal parties look weird I can't imagine having grown women act as flower girl, ring bearer and butterfly releaser would alleviate that.

     How does he deal with regular life? 



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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    "I RAISE butterflies. They are released into the wild after coming to adulthood."

    So are you timing their metamorphosis so that they come into adulthood on your wedding day? Likely not. You would be holding adults in cages until your wedding day so that you can have a pretty butterfly release (i.e. they are props for your wedding). Or collecting them later so you can have a pretty release. Either way, it's messed up. I would think someone who raises butterflies would understand that...

    Actually, if you are experienced in raising butterflies and have many going through the metamorphis procces it's easy to have a few that will be hatching on the wedding day. So no, there won't be just adults hanging around waiting.

    Also, if none of my butterflies hatch on my wedding day? Then there just won't be a release at all, since there are none to release. My outside venue is also a great place to release as it has plenty for butterflies to feed on.

    I love butterflies and enjoy raising them to help bolster the dwindling numbers. I don't really see why releasing hatchlings on the day if they hatch is an issue. They are special to me and I'd be happy they had a part during our wedding.

    There are also no butterfly-phobes in our invited guests.


    STUCK


    To the bolded, how do you know that? Have you polled every one of your guests, including their SOs or dates? I'd guess that most of my friends aren't aware that butterflies yuck me out. I don't meet people saying, "Hi, my name is ShesSoCold and I dislike spiders, june bugs, grasshoppers and butterflies".


    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Knottie1452098987
  • "I RAISE butterflies. They are released into the wild after coming to adulthood."

    So are you timing their metamorphosis so that they come into adulthood on your wedding day? Likely not. You would be holding adults in cages until your wedding day so that you can have a pretty butterfly release (i.e. they are props for your wedding). Or collecting them later so you can have a pretty release. Either way, it's messed up. I would think someone who raises butterflies would understand that...

    Actually, if you are experienced in raising butterflies and have many going through the metamorphis procces it's easy to have a few that will be hatching on the wedding day. So no, there won't be just adults hanging around waiting.

    Also, if none of my butterflies hatch on my wedding day? Then there just won't be a release at all, since there are none to release. My outside venue is also a great place to release as it has plenty for butterflies to feed on.

    I love butterflies and enjoy raising them to help bolster the dwindling numbers. I don't really see why releasing hatchlings on the day if they hatch is an issue. They are special to me and I'd be happy they had a part during our wedding.

    There are also no butterfly-phobes in our invited guests.


    STUCK


    To the bolded, how do you know that? Have you polled every one of your guests, including their SOs or dates? I'd guess that most of my friends aren't aware that butterflies yuck me out. I don't meet people saying, "Hi, my name is ShesSoCold and I dislike spiders, june bugs, grasshoppers and butterflies".


    I'm having a very small wedding and I intimately know all of my guests. They know I raise butterflies and I've talked about it in depth with them. Many are even interested in trying it themselves. It's not hard to know your crowd when you have a small wedding.
  • lnixon8 said:
    I still don't understand why you can't have traditional bridesmaids. Why is your FI so against this? He "hates" the idea of uneven sides? Tell him to get over it. How ridiculous. 
    I agree. I have anxiety too but I still don't see how it affects YOUR friends. If he is anxious that uneven bridal parties look weird I can't imagine having grown women act as flower girl, ring bearer and butterfly releaser would alleviate that.

     How does he deal with regular life? 

    My friends are very relaxed and wonderful people. They don't feel negatively affected and had fun coming up with alternatives. I'm lucky to be surrounded by awesome and happy people I guess, because no one is unhappy or put off by having it less traditional. I guess other women are much more formal and uptight about this kind of thing? I wouldn't have guessed, but every friend group is different.

    We all care about my fiancé and want to support him in any way possible, even if it may seem strange to others. Why not make him feel better if it doesn't hurt anyone else would be my question?


  • I do want to note that I'm taking all of your comments and points very seriously, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

    I have considered talking to my fiancé about changing my girls to stand up with me. They are so excited about throwing petals and carrying the rings that they will probably still do that no matter what. It would feel mean to take that run away from them. I'd also like to point at they are my bridesmaids and don't have the title of ringbearer or flower girl. They are just bridesmaid with extra fun added on.

    Now that I've explained more thoroughly my butterfly raising and possible idea of release, I'd welcome more thoughts on it. I'm not set on the idea, even though I love the thought of my beloved butterfly's being included. I've also considered a display cage where, once they are all hatched and ready for flight, I open the door to let them leave on their whim. 

    Thanks again for your comments. The more constructive, the better!


    bohobrideCA
  • I do want to note that I'm taking all of your comments and points very seriously, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

    I have considered talking to my fiancé about changing my girls to stand up with me. They are so excited about throwing petals and carrying the rings that they will probably still do that no matter what. It would feel mean to take that run away from them. I'd also like to point at they are my bridesmaids and don't have the title of ringbearer or flower girl. They are just bridesmaid with extra fun added on.

    Now that I've explained more thoroughly my butterfly raising and possible idea of release, I'd welcome more thoughts on it. I'm not set on the idea, even though I love the thought of my beloved butterfly's being included. I've also considered a display cage where, once they are all hatched and ready for flight, I open the door to let them leave on their whim. 

    Thanks again for your comments. The more constructive, the better!


    Honestly, I personally see nothing wrong with releasing butterflies if they hatch on the day of your wedding (though, like PPs I don't think you should keep adults captive for days if none hatch on the day of).

    As for @ShesSoCold mentioning guests being afraid of/grossed out by butterflies - unless OP is releasing a horde of them, this seems like a silly thing to be worried about... I mean, if guests are terrified of a couple of butterflies to the point that they will freak out or be terribly upset if they see one, do they just never go outside? Because butterflies do exist in nature and may in fact be in the area regardless of whether she releases a few. Granted, if she released dozens of them I can see that being a potential issue, because then they would be landing everywhere. But if a couple hatch on the morning of the wedding, I really do not see the harm in this plan. Not to my taste, but not something I feel is inherently a terrible idea.
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    lnixon8Knottie1452098987JediElizabeth
  • WallflowerWallflower member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2016
    I do want to note that I'm taking all of your comments and points very seriously, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

    I have considered talking to my fiancé about changing my girls to stand up with me. They are so excited about throwing petals and carrying the rings that they will probably still do that no matter what. It would feel mean to take that run away from them. I'd also like to point at they are my bridesmaids and don't have the title of ringbearer or flower girl. They are just bridesmaid with extra fun added on.

    Now that I've explained more thoroughly my butterfly raising and possible idea of release, I'd welcome more thoughts on it. I'm not set on the idea, even though I love the thought of my beloved butterfly's being included. I've also considered a display cage where, once they are all hatched and ready for flight, I open the door to let them leave on their whim. 

    Thanks again for your comments. The more constructive, the better!


    Honestly, I personally see nothing wrong with releasing butterflies if they hatch on the day of your wedding (though, like PPs I don't think you should keep adults captive for days if none hatch on the day of).

    As for @ShesSoCold mentioning guests being afraid of/grossed out by butterflies - unless OP is releasing a horde of them, this seems like a silly thing to be worried about... I mean, if guests are terrified of a couple of butterflies to the point that they will freak out or be terribly upset if they see one, do they just never go outside? Because butterflies do exist in nature and may in fact be in the area regardless of whether she releases a few. Granted, if she released dozens of them I can see that being a potential issue, because then they would be landing everywhere. But if a couple hatch on the morning of the wedding, I really do not see the harm in this plan. Not to my taste, but not something I feel is inherently a terrible idea.
    Yeah, it would only be a few, not a horde. I don't raise a ton at a time, so I don't expect there would be more than a handful on our wedding day.

    CMGragain said:
    I just think of the "Two and a Half Men" episode, where Alan Harper opened the box of butterflies at his mother's wedding, tossed them, and they were all dead.
    That's horrific! I've never seen that show, but I'd be seriously traumatized if my butterflies randomly died. Also, you shouldn't toss them, just let them fly away when they are ready.



    in any case, I'm now leaning towards the display cage anyway. Enough posters have mentioned they don't like the idea and it's another happy alternative. Seeing them hatch would be neat for my guests, especially since our theme is basically "nature". Then I'll just open the gate when the butterflies are ready. ☺️
    ShesSoColdSP29JediElizabeth
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I do want to note that I'm taking all of your comments and points very seriously, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

    I have considered talking to my fiancé about changing my girls to stand up with me. They are so excited about throwing petals and carrying the rings that they will probably still do that no matter what. It would feel mean to take that run away from them. I'd also like to point at they are my bridesmaids and don't have the title of ringbearer or flower girl. They are just bridesmaid with extra fun added on.

    Now that I've explained more thoroughly my butterfly raising and possible idea of release, I'd welcome more thoughts on it. I'm not set on the idea, even though I love the thought of my beloved butterfly's being included. I've also considered a display cage where, once they are all hatched and ready for flight, I open the door to let them leave on their whim. 

    Thanks again for your comments. The more constructive, the better!


    Honestly, I personally see nothing wrong with releasing butterflies if they hatch on the day of your wedding (though, like PPs I don't think you should keep adults captive for days if none hatch on the day of).

    As for @ShesSoCold mentioning guests being afraid of/grossed out by butterflies - unless OP is releasing a horde of them, this seems like a silly thing to be worried about... I mean, if guests are terrified of a couple of butterflies to the point that they will freak out or be terribly upset if they see one, do they just never go outside? Because butterflies do exist in nature and may in fact be in the area regardless of whether she releases a few. Granted, if she released dozens of them I can see that being a potential issue, because then they would be landing everywhere. But if a couple hatch on the morning of the wedding, I really do not see the harm in this plan. Not to my taste, but not something I feel is inherently a terrible idea.


    That makes sense, I was picturing dozens and dozens and them just kind of hanging around like they seem to do in my yard instead of flying away.

    I mean, I wouldn't be scarred for life, but I'd definitely be distracted by and nervous of butterflies flying around. To me, they're no different than a couple releasing huge spiders because that's their "thing".

    But the more I read from OP, the more I don't see this as a horrible idea, especially since butterflies are her thing anyway and it's not just a whimsical cutesy idea to have half frozen butterflies on everyone's chair.

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    Knottie1452098987JediElizabeth

  • That makes sense, I was picturing dozens and dozens and them just kind of hanging around like they seem to do in my yard instead of flying away.

    I mean, I wouldn't be scarred for life, but I'd definitely be distracted by and nervous of butterflies flying around. To me, they're no different than a couple releasing huge spiders because that's their "thing".

    But the more I read from OP, the more I don't see this as a horrible idea, especially since butterflies are her thing anyway and it's not just a whimsical cutesy idea to have half frozen butterflies on everyone's chair.

    I have nothing against butterflies, but I would be pretty freaked out too if a swarm of thousands was flying around me. But a few? Fine. Spiders? Hell no.

    CMGragain said:
    I just think of the "Two and a Half Men" episode, where Alan Harper opened the box of butterflies at his mother's wedding, tossed them, and they were all dead.
    This reminds me of a story I heard, either on here or on TV (hate when I can't remember where I heard something): A couple had live butterflies in envelopes that were supposed to go on the underside of each guest's chair to release during the ceremony. The planner screwed up and put the envelopes ON the seats. White envelopes. White chairs. Everyone sat on them.
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    CMGragainKnottie1452098987

  • That makes sense, I was picturing dozens and dozens and them just kind of hanging around like they seem to do in my yard instead of flying away.

    I mean, I wouldn't be scarred for life, but I'd definitely be distracted by and nervous of butterflies flying around. To me, they're no different than a couple releasing huge spiders because that's their "thing".

    But the more I read from OP, the more I don't see this as a horrible idea, especially since butterflies are her thing anyway and it's not just a whimsical cutesy idea to have half frozen butterflies on everyone's chair.

    I have nothing against butterflies, but I would be pretty freaked out too if a swarm of thousands was flying around me. But a few? Fine. Spiders? Hell no.

    CMGragain said:
    I just think of the "Two and a Half Men" episode, where Alan Harper opened the box of butterflies at his mother's wedding, tossed them, and they were all dead.
    This reminds me of a story I heard, either on here or on TV (hate when I can't remember where I heard something): A couple had live butterflies in envelopes that were supposed to go on the underside of each guest's chair to release during the ceremony. The planner screwed up and put the envelopes ON the seats. White envelopes. White chairs. Everyone sat on them.
    I think I'm starting to understand the poor response to butterflies at weddings. I had no idea people put them in envelopes to sit waiting for release. That seems really cruel and horrible. Especially tiny envelopes to every guest! I don't think a butterfly would like being cramped in such a small space. It sounds really sad. 
    Knottie1452098987SP29lc07
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