So many sisters... No clue what to do???

Knottie1462384340

Trying to plan my wedding (Holy Overwhelming!). My groom and I talked about having a small wedding party (just our best friends-maid of honor and best man only). However, I have 3 sisters (he has 1) and would like to involve them somehow. We would really rather not have uneven sides. I thought about having them stand in an arch behind the officiant?... but would they be officially bridesmaids? If not, what would they be? Any ideas what I can do to include the sisters in the ceremony? Please and thank you for your help :-)

SP29

Being in the WP is a role of honour- you are asking these people (or this person) to stand up beside you because you wish to honour your relationship. Even sides do not matter- seriously- this will not affect your wedding in anyway. Saying that, your wedding party is entirely up to you and your personal choice, do not feel obligated to ask your sisters if you do not want them to be in your WP.

The only obligation of the people in your WP is to show up on time for the ceremony, relatively sober, in the agreed upon attire. Nothing else. Thus, I do not understand what would be the purpose of having your sisters stand up in an arch behind the officiant. They either are, or are not, in your WP. Your guests will know they are your sisters, they don't need to stand up for that to be pointed out.

There are a couple things you could have your sisters do during the ceremony to include them- but they would be guests at your wedding and stand up/participate when needed, then return to their seats. These include: reader (you could have more than one person do a reading, but I wouldn't do more than 2), present the rings (FI's sister could present his, one of your sisters presents yours), and sign your marriage license as your witnesses.

You can still get all of them a corsage, invite them to get ready with you, take a special photo with them.

glasgowtolondon

Honestly, I'd really say you either have them fully in the wp or don't have them in it at all. These half measures aren't an honor to anyone. Your sisters are (I assume) adults, it's not like you are picking 2 sisters and leaving out 1. Also, don't worry about even sides - what does that even matter? I have 2 bridesmaids and my partner has 1 best man, who is his oldest and closest friend. We are both having our brothers sign the marriage license since they are not in the wp. Job done, no one has been upset by this or raised any eyebrows.

floridabride44

Even sides don't matter. Having your nearest & dearest standing up with you should trump the "look" 100% of the time.

If you want your sisters to stand up with you at the wedding, then make them bridesmaids and have them stand on your side.  I mean, if you're really hung up on even-ness then an arch behind the officiant wouldn't work because that would mean one of them would be standing directly behind the officiant. How awkward!

Just make them bridesmaids! And if your FI wants his sister to stand with him she can be a groomswoman. Times have changed and even bridal parties with women on one side and men on the other are a thing of the past. 

aurianna

Agree with others. Make them bridesmaids, unless you can think of a legitimate reason that even sides is more important than honoring your sisters.

If you decide not to ask them these are other options.

-Let a couple of them be readers
-If you're doing family seating immediately before the procession, they could escort mothers/grandparents/whomever (not exactly an honor but I think still a nice way to participate)

And if you're Catholic
-They can present the gifts
-One can lead the intercessions

Otherwise, they can just be guests. You can get them corsages/special presents regardless. Ask your photographer for a special picture with just your sisters. Done.

holyguacamole79

Knottie1462384340 said:

Trying to plan my wedding (Holy Overwhelming!). My groom and I talked about having a small wedding party (just our best friends-maid of honor and best man only). However, I have 3 sisters (he has 1) and would like to involve them somehow. We would really rather not have uneven sides. I thought about having them stand in an arch behind the officiant?... but would they be officially bridesmaids? If not, what would they be? Any ideas what I can do to include the sisters in the ceremony? Please and thank you for your help :-)

I agree with the others.   If you're close to them, just ask them to be bridesmaids.   Don't ask his sister out of obligation or in an effort to get close to her (that rarely works).  

kimmiinthemitten

I agree with PPs but wanted to add, the WP doesn't have to be split by gender either so there's no reason his sister can't stand on his side. 

madamerwin

I also have three sisters, H has two brothers and a couple of cousins he's close to. We decided to have everyone in the wedding party - I had seven bridesmaids, he had six groomsmen.

Don't give your sisters some consolation role. Either have all of them as bridesmaids, or none of them. If you and your FI each only have one bridal party member, then I would hope your sisters would understand - I know my sisters would have been hurt if I had a few BMs and didn't include them, but they would have understood if H and I each only had one person standing with us.

Standing in an arch behind the officiant? That's going to highlight them even more, and may make guests wonder what the hell they're doing there... If you are thinking of doing that, just have them be normal bridesmaids, No one cares about even sides.

And like PP said, bridal party members don't have to be segregated by gender. FI's sister can be a groomswoman, if that makes you feel better about how many people are standing on each side.

Sioux1986

I have 6 sisters. I also have a best friend and very close childhood friend. So I had a total of 8 bridesmaids, for my wedding of 55 people! The groom only had 4 groomsman. 

If anything, the unbalanced look worked! I loved including all my sisters and having them up there with me, and would not have done it differently. Trust me, any fear you have about "uneven sides" will not even be an issue the day of. 

That said, include them if you want, don't if you don't want to. There are no rules here really, except there is no halfsies. 

Good luck!

AddieCake

If you're considering having them stand with you in an arch, why not just have them stand with you as WP members? What's the difference?

MyNameIsNot

I've read a lot of comments about how people miss the point of the honor and treat their bridesmaids as props, but this goes a step further. What purpose would they be serving to stand by the arch except to be props? 

If you are close to them, invite them to be bridesmaids (or groomswoman in the case of your FSIL). Otherwise, just let them be guests. 

MesmrEwe

Forget about the "Uneven sides" thing - have 50% stand on your side and 50% on his side of the room - problem  solved!

Honestly, either have them in the WP or don't (ask them what they're comfortable with doing - they may say "enjoy it as a guest!").  Asking them to stand in an arch behind the officiant would be odd and uncomfortable on so many levels.