Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Toast Trouble

As funny as the title sounds, my DJ asked how many people were doing toasts. I didn't really think about it until he asked, so I figured I would come here for some help. 

What's a good number of people to have give a toast? I believe my step dad would like to say something, and then either myself or fiance (or together?), and maybe a member of the bridal party. I really wasn't sure what's appropriate or not. And what exactly is a good thing to say? I know it is supposed to be a thank you to the guests, but I just don't know how to go about it.

Any advice would be great, thank you! :)

Re: Toast Trouble

  • justsiejustsie member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    As funny as the title sounds, my DJ asked how many people were doing toasts. I didn't really think about it until he asked, so I figured I would come here for some help. 

    What's a good number of people to have give a toast? I believe my step dad would like to say something, and then either myself or fiance (or together?), and maybe a member of the bridal party. I really wasn't sure what's appropriate or not. And what exactly is a good thing to say? I know it is supposed to be a thank you to the guests, but I just don't know how to go about it.

    Any advice would be great, thank you! :)
    How many people have offered to give a toast?
    image
    Greenjinjo
  • I have never attended a wedding where the couple gave a speech and I'm not a wedding novice.   So that's one I'd skip.

    At most weddings I've attended it's often just the BM and MOH and maybe a FOB/FOG that speak.

    We just went to a wedding and I liked that the toasts were broken up.  The FOB gave a speech before the meal.   After the meal the MOH and then BM gave toasts and then the dance floor opened.   
    zerostarzombie
  • If you and your FI speak, just make it a quick "thanks everyone for coming, we're so happy you're here and hope you have a great time!"  You should be greeting and thanking your guests individually at the reception (either in a receiving line or table visits) so no need for a long drawn out speech by you two. I've seen the bride & groom give a quick welcome to the reception before, right before dinner, and I thought it was nice. 

    Your stepdad can make a toast if he'd like, and then you can allow your MOH and/or BM to give a toast as well (Only if they want to. Don't pressure them to do so.)

    The key thing is make sure these people are giving toasts and not speeches. Short and sweet is best! 
    --

    zerostarzombieOurWildKingdomGreenjinjo
  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    You don't have to do anything just because your dj suggested it. We had pages and pages to fill out for all sorts of things dollar dance, anniversary dance, flower toss song, garter removal song, garter toss song, putting the garter on the bouquet catcher songs,  what questions we wanted for the shoe game... You're not expected to have all of them or proabably even most of them.If anything your dj will probabaly appreciate not having to squeeze in eveyone while still keeping the dancefloor full.


    zerostarzombieOurWildKingdomwink0erin
  • justsie said:
    As funny as the title sounds, my DJ asked how many people were doing toasts. I didn't really think about it until he asked, so I figured I would come here for some help. 

    What's a good number of people to have give a toast? I believe my step dad would like to say something, and then either myself or fiance (or together?), and maybe a member of the bridal party. I really wasn't sure what's appropriate or not. And what exactly is a good thing to say? I know it is supposed to be a thank you to the guests, but I just don't know how to go about it.

    Any advice would be great, thank you! :)
    How many people have offered to give a toast?
    Just my step dad so far.

    Thank you everyone for your advice! It helps me out a lot.
  • justsie said:
    How many people have offered to give a toast?
    Just wanted to point out that this is not always a good indicator of how many people actually want to give toasts - at least, it wasn't for us. We knew before our wedding that the MOH and BM both wanted to give toasts, but it turned out my sister and dad planned to as well. My sister had a little speech written long before she informed us of her intentions, and my dad is a talker, so I probably should have known he would want to say something.

    I think it's a know your crowd kind of thing. Probably because all of my family's weddings have been pretty laid back and go-with-the-flow, my dad and sister did not think they needed to let us know ahead of time. In reality, they really did NOT need to let us know, since they both kept them under a minute and we were not on a strict timeline, and it was not interrupting dinner or anything. But if you suspect your family members might be like mine, it might not be a bad idea to ask if they want to say anything ahead of time (or to make sure they are not planning a "surprise" speech that you didn't plan for, time-wise).
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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    justsie said:
    As funny as the title sounds, my DJ asked how many people were doing toasts. I didn't really think about it until he asked, so I figured I would come here for some help. 

    What's a good number of people to have give a toast? I believe my step dad would like to say something, and then either myself or fiance (or together?), and maybe a member of the bridal party. I really wasn't sure what's appropriate or not. And what exactly is a good thing to say? I know it is supposed to be a thank you to the guests, but I just don't know how to go about it.

    Any advice would be great, thank you! :)
    How many people have offered to give a toast?
    Just my step dad so far.

    Thank you everyone for your advice! It helps me out a lot.
    Bear in mind, if you're so inclined, anyone offering a prayer or blessing prior to dinner would probably be counted in this mix as well.
    OurWildKingdom
  • ei34ei34 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The weddings that I've attended (my own included), the MOH and BM give a brief toast towards the beginning of the reception.  At the start of the Viennese Hour, my H and I did thank our guests for coming (we spoke combined for maybe 20 seconds, it was literally "thank you for sharing in our joy today" in English and Spanish).
    I've never seen parents of the couple speak/toast at a wedding.
  • eileenrob said:
    The weddings that I've attended (my own included), the MOH and BM give a brief toast towards the beginning of the reception.  At the start of the Viennese Hour, my H and I did thank our guests for coming (we spoke combined for maybe 20 seconds, it was literally "thank you for sharing in our joy today" in English and Spanish).
    I've never seen parents of the couple speak/toast at a wedding.
    I have definitely seen parents speak, especially when they are hosting the wedding. In a lot of circles, it's customary for the host(s) to say a quick thank you and/or something about the bride and groom. In fact, I think I have seen a parent speak at most weddings I have attended, but maybe it's just something common in my circles.

    In my case, my dad paid for a chunk of the wedding, and he likes to talk. He wanted to say something, so we let him. It was 30 seconds.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My dad, DH's mom, Best Man, MOH, groomsman, and us gave toasts. Ours was a thank you. We told everyone 2 mins max. We had a plated meal, so did our toasts in between courses.

    I have often seen one or more parents of the B/G give a toast. I'd say 50/50 I've seen the bride and/or groom give a toast/Thank you.

    I didn't know how this all worked either when I was planning the reception- so we asked our parents and WP if anyone wanted to give a toast- the above said yes, others said no. Perhaps not the best course of action (did they feel pressured to say yes? I don't know), but I didn't know how else to figure it out, besides ask.
  • ei34ei34 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I have definitely seen parents speak, especially when they are hosting the wedding. In a lot of circles, it's customary for the host(s) to say a quick thank you and/or something about the bride and groom. In fact, I think I have seen a parent speak at most weddings I have attended, but maybe it's just something common in my circles.


    Neat!  Maybe I haven't been to many weddings with parents that hosted then.  Either way, good to know, thank you!
  • We're not deep into detailed planning yet, but my sister/maid of honour and my fiance's best man have already mentioned speeches. My parents will also want to say something and his parent's will likely say something super quick. We will also say a quick thank-you to everyone. We're doing an after dinner ceremony/ reception so our speeches will be a short and sweet way to segway from the cocktail hour into the party.
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    zerostarzombie
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