In the friendzone #2

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I fell in love with a co-worker and kept the feelings to myself for one year. She is single, and I am separated. Recently I talked to her about how I feel—we are friends and have known each other for more than 10 years—and she listened and understood but did not reciprocate my feelings. We keep being friends, but I am tremendously jealous when she talks in a friendly manner to other male co-workers. Even though I know she does not love me, I still like her a lot and cannot avoid feeling jealous. Should I talk to her about my jealousy? For work reasons, I cannot (and don’t want to) avoid her completely. Should I learn to live with the jealously?

—Jealous at Work

bleve0821

What?  Why would you do this.  You don't own her, or have any claim to her, over her, or any say in whom she interacts with, and especially not in her place of work

"When she talks in a friendly manner to other male co-workers"?  Oh, sweetie...

You know what they say about shitting where you eat...

lembaslover

Honestly I would recommend counselling or finding a new job if possible. If LW is getting jealous when she talks to other men then something has to change and it's nothing that can be accomplished by talking to her. She's doing nothing wrong. I don't think it's healthy to live with that kind of jealousy either. 

lembaslover

Honestly I would recommend counselling or finding a new job if possible. If LW is getting jealous when she talks to other men then something has to change and it's nothing that can be accomplished by talking to her. She's doing nothing wrong. I don't think it's healthy to live with that kind of jealousy either. 

mrsconn23

This is unhinged behavior.  

There's a part of me that wishes this wasn't anonymous because she needs to know and so does the company.  Someone needs a transfer, at the least. 

Also, this how I picture her 'listening and understanding': 

Heffalump

Talking in a friendly manner to coworkers of the opposite sex?  What a slut!

This guy sounds like he's about 1.5 conversations away from a restraining order.

kimmiinthemitten

Wow....this sounds borderline dangerous.  What's the next step?  Drive bys to make sure another car isn't in her driveway?  Peeking a her computer when she's not at her desk.  What happens when she does enter in a new relationship?

All of the friend zone posts, it seems, aren't by nice guys who wish it was different, but neurotic masochists who act like the object of their affection is just that:  an object.

charlotte989875

Yah this isn't cool. I would assume (hope?) she is aware and has told HR about his creepiness because that's the person who really needs advice here. What did Prudie say?

glasgowtolondon

Yeah, I'd like to see what Prudie had to say on this @mrs.conn23

LW is a classic case, and I agree with PP that his behaviour sounds like it belongs at the start of an episode of Without a Trace.