Wrong to select different BM dresses?

Knottie54371746

I was MOH in a wedding a few years ago where the bride selected (and paid for) a different dress for each BM -- different styles and patterns but roughly the same color scheme. It was lovely and the pictures looked great. 

I want to do the same with a mix of solids and patterns, but it occurred to me that selecting a particular dress for each girl might be controlling and, more importantly, that some girls might feel upset if they thought someone else got a prettier dress or that their dress was inferior. Realistically I think all my BMs are reasonable adults and I do plan to pay for the dresses, but I need some perspective. Are unique, bride-selected-and-BM-approved dresses fair game? Am I making them human Barbie dolls?

Viczaesar

Knottie54371746 said:

I was MOH in a wedding a few years ago where the bride selected (and paid for) a different dress for each BM -- different styles and patterns but roughly the same color scheme. It was lovely and the pictures looked great. 

I want to do the same with a mix of solids and patterns, but it occurred to me that selecting a particular dress for each girl might be controlling and, more importantly, that some girls might feel upset if they thought someone else got a prettier dress or that their dress was inferior. Realistically I think all my BMs are reasonable adults and I do plan to pay for the dresses, but I need some perspective. Are unique, bride-selected-and-BM-approved dresses fair game? Am I making them human Barbie dolls?

Just give them the color scheme and let them select for themselves.

Tyvm

Just give them the color scheme and let them select for themselves.

Yup. And if you're gonna pay for it, you'll see the dresses before they purchase.

bohobrideCA

I'm gonna say this is human Barbie territory. It's great that you're paying for them but it's not really a gift if it's just to make your wedding pictures pretty and "unique".
I get the look you're going for and I think you can still achieve it letting them choose their own dresses. At the very least give some suggestions and examples and let them pick what's best for their body type. They're going to want your opinion and approval anyway. Multiple dresses in different prints within a similar color way is really easy to do, you don't have to micro manage it. 

kvruns

Not quite the same but in a wedding a few years ago we all had the same dress but different colors. I actually liked the dress bc it was one I'd looked at online. But the bride chose our colors and both my best friend and I hated ours. The MOH and another BM got to pick their colors and ours were assigned after that. We are adults and we dealt with it but it sucked that 2 girls got colors they liked and 2 of us didn't.

lnixon8

Trust your bridesmaids. I told mine coral but anything from light pink to burnt orange is great, please no chevron and this was the result:

CMGragain

I had only two bridesmaids, and they weren't even the same color - one turquoise, one pink  There are no rules about color.   This is one area where you can do what you want.

bohobrideCA

CMGragain said:

I had only two bridesmaids, and they weren't even the same color - one turquoise, one pink  There are no rules about color.   This is one area where you can do what you want.

True, but I think you should either choose one dress that all the bridesmaids have approved or let them choose their own dresses (with a specific color or not). Choosing a different dress for each woman just seems like there can be so many different issues, comparing, not liking them, just saying yes because they don't want to make waves, etc. 

MesmrEwe

Tell them the color (an easy way to go is David's or choose a designer), and tell them your budget (so if they find something and want to go over themselves they're able) - that's the easiest way to go.  No you aren't making them the "Human Barbie", it is o.k. for you to want them to coordinate and feel comfortable in whatever they're wearing that day!

hyechica81

i had my maids in the same dress same length same color. they all had similar body types and the dress looked good on all of them 

OurWildKingdom

@lnixon8, you all looked gorgeous! 

ScottishSarah

My bridesmaids are picking their own, and I have specified a length and also please not to choose pastels so they can coordinate.  Your instinct is correct, it would be weird to pick for them if you are going for a miss matched look.  

OurWildKingdom

ScottishSarah said:

My bridesmaids are picking their own, and I have specified a length and also please not to choose pastels so they can coordinate.  Your instinct is correct, it would be weird to pick for them if you are going for a miss matched look.  

We told our bridesmaids "something blue" and let them take it from there. We didn't specify length or fabric because everyone has different body shapes, sizes, and tastes. I did send one of the BMs (a friend of FW) a link to a dress that FW thought she might like and that was 50 percent off.

bohobrideCA

OurWildKingdom said:

ScottishSarah said:

My bridesmaids are picking their own, and I have specified a length and also please not to choose pastels so they can coordinate.  Your instinct is correct, it would be weird to pick for them if you are going for a miss matched look.  

We told our bridesmaids "something blue" and let them take it from there. We didn't specify length or fabric because everyone has different body shapes, sizes, and tastes. I did send one of the BMs (a friend of FW) a link to a dress that FW thought she might like and that was 50 percent off.

We did the same with black but I also gave the choice of dress, jumpsuit, skirt and top, etc. Everyone can wear black again (or already has something black) and it's always chic. They're all knockouts and they're going to look best choosing for themselves. I'm giving them all bouquets and flowers for their hair (if they want) and that will bring it all together to look cohesive, besides the fact that they're in the same color. 

What doesn't look good, is a busty girl who hates her arms feeling insecure in a strapless dress or someone who hates her legs in a short dress so she doesn't want to dance. These are your honored guests and you should want them to have a good time, when you don't feel confident or comfortable enjoying the day will be a challenge. 

OurWildKingdom

bohobrideca said:

OurWildKingdom said:

ScottishSarah said:

My bridesmaids are picking their own, and I have specified a length and also please not to choose pastels so they can coordinate.  Your instinct is correct, it would be weird to pick for them if you are going for a miss matched look.  

We told our bridesmaids "something blue" and let them take it from there. We didn't specify length or fabric because everyone has different body shapes, sizes, and tastes. I did send one of the BMs (a friend of FW) a link to a dress that FW thought she might like and that was 50 percent off.

We did the same with black but I also gave the choice of dress, jumpsuit, skirt and top, etc. Everyone can wear black again (or already has something black) and it's always chic. They're all knockouts and they're going to look best choosing for themselves. I'm giving them all bouquets and flowers for their hair (if they want) and that will bring it all together to look cohesive, besides the fact that they're in the same color. 

What doesn't look good, is a busty girl who hates her arms feeling insecure in a strapless dress or someone who hates her legs in a short dress so she doesn't want to dance. These are your honored guests and you should want them to have a good time, when you don't feel confident or comfortable enjoying the day will be a challenge. 

We also gave the choice of dress, skirt and blouse, skirt suit, pants suit, etc.