Which is the most preferable website RSVP system?

CaitFins

Hello, Knotties!

What do you think is the best RSVP system for guests to use on wedding websites? For some reason, despite all the weddings I've been to, I haven't personally seen any brides use Wedding Wire's search system-style RSVP and website. Has anyone used it? What problems have you encountered with it and other RSVP systems? 

I'm not sure if the search system would be abused by guests - looking up who else is or isn't invited, for instance, or seeing who seems to have the privilege of a party member that they don't - but I would rather not be confused by guests filling in their names, and even worse with the Knot, not specifying which other members of the party or random guests are coming.

Tyvm

I asked a similar question here wrt {TheKnot, GloSite, Squarespace, RSVPify, and Greenvelope} and got next to no response.

It feels like TK forum users just aren't into online RSVP systems yet?

lnixon8

Using an evite was too problematic when I've thrown showers so I went with traditional RSVP's.

OurWildKingdom

I'm open to using online RSVPs, but I'm not going to rely just on that. I'm putting both our phone numbers and my e-mail address on the invitation, and I may even add an RSVP card.

[Deleted User]

CaitFins said:

Hello, Knotties!

What do you think is the best RSVP system for guests to use on wedding websites? For some reason, despite all the weddings I've been to, I haven't personally seen any brides use Wedding Wire's search system-style RSVP and website. Has anyone used it? What problems have you encountered with it and other RSVP systems? 

I'm not sure if the search system would be abused by guests - looking up who else is or isn't invited, for instance, or seeing who seems to have the privilege of a party member that they don't - but I would rather not be confused by guests filling in their names, and even worse with the Knot, not specifying which other members of the party or random guests are coming.

I'm planning on using wedding wire (along with including a phone number and an email) but I haven't sent out invites yet so I can't give you feedback on how it worked. One of the main reasons I'm choosing wedding wire is because of the option to password protect the website and guests rsvping together are easier to track. 

To the bolded, that thought hadn't occurred to me but I can't imagine it would be too big of a concern unless you anticipate a lot of family drama or are not inviting family members whom others think you should. 

ernursej

I'm curious what privileges some guests would have that others would not ...

Tyvm

@ernursej Some of these online RSVP management systems let you include side events like the rehearsal dinner (or so-and-so family reunion pre-lunch, or whatever). As only some people would be invited to some of these events...there is the potential for some people to look into who is invited to what.

But whatever, they're weird.

ernursej

@Tyvm ah, was thinking tiered reception or something like that. I still don't like the idea of seeing events that I'm not invited to or seeing who gets to go.

Tyvm

@ernursej I mean, you could probably use the feature for tiered receptions. But you could also use it for good! Like rehearsal dinners.

If implemented correctly, you would only be able to see events you weren't invited to if you put the wrong name into the system...Like, let's say you know Aunt Cathy is probably invited to the rehearsal dinner, but you weren't. So you'd put Aunt Cathy's name into the online RSVP system, and it'd tell you what events Aunt Cathy would be invited to. So...that'd be on you for being the weirdo.

There really should not be an obvious way for you to see events that you're not invited to, unless you're being a pinch malicious. Assuming, of course, that the RSVP system is set up correctly (like GloSite).

CaitFins

Right, the systems can be abused in a lot of ways by both bride and groom and guests, potentially.
Personally, I plan to just use the RSVPs for ceremony and reception, which everyone is invited to, and do the rehearsal dinner through other means.
I suppose I'm just worried because both of my parents are divorced and remarried, and my mother also isn't necessarily following the "invite in circles" suggestion for which relatives she wants to invite. They're amicable, but I'm a cover-all-bases bride apparently. Which seems impossible.

MCmeow

I started making my website on Appycouple and they have a smart RSVP system. I'm not sure if we'll use it yet because it's way too early but guests register with a code you give them and based on their email they can only see the event they were invited to. So they can't see the rehearsal dinner or other pre-wedding events while your wedding party can and see all the details on its own page. I guess the only issue is that each guest needs an email (I think, still learning about it) which sucks for the older relatives.

poodledoodleooo

In my opinion, the best way to collect a RSVP is in the way the invite was sent out. If you're sending out an evite to a BBQ, then I think an electronic RSVP is quick and easy - the recipient usually just needs to click a link or a response button when they receive the email and that's usually pretty simple to do. If you're sending paper invites, you should have a paper RSVP. With a paper RSVP, I'm likely to open the invite, fill it out, stick it in my outgoing mail pile and send it off with in a day or two (or whenever I'm taking that pile to that post office, weekly at minimum, for my household). I'm not going to receive the paper invite, and immediately boot up my laptop to RSVP. No, I'm going to stick that sucker on my fridge and try to remember to bring it with me to work, or look at it the next time I'm on my home computer, (which is rare for me), and the forget about it and possible lose the exact website address I need to access the RSVP, and then I'll try to text or call you, but if I don't have your number because we're distant cousins, or what not, then I have to call my mom or MIL and get your info, and she doesn't have it so she has to talk to Aunt Jill about it, and Jill finally sends it to mom who forgets to get it to me and where did she put that damn number? And then I finally get it and it's three days past the "due date" and bride is pissed off that I hadn't responded in a timely manner and unfortunately, this exact scenario has happened more than once.

So, ALL correspondence should really be done on ONE platform - electronically or snail mail.  And if you're sending paper invites, as one normally does for a formal event such as a wedding, you really aught to collect any RSVPs via paper/snail mail.

Tyvm

So, ALL correspondence should really be done on ONE platform - electronically or snail mail.  And if you're sending paper invites, as one normally does for a formal event such as a wedding, you really aught to collect any RSVPs via paper/snail mail.

@PoodleDoodleOoo That makes sense, except many of these online RSVP systems allow you to snail mail out a link to the event, but also send email invitations out (GloSite and Greenvelope in particular, maybe also Appy Couple). So, people can respond to the online RSVP via the email they receive, but they can also pin the paper invite to the fridge.

guests register with a code you give them and based on their email they can only see the event they were invited to

@MCmeow In theory this sounds good, but in practice...people are going to misplace their access codes. This is why online registries let you search for a couple's name, and these other RSVP websites let guests search for their own names. Bits of paper always go missing...and people are lazy.

MyNameIsNot

I would never do an online RSVP, so maybe I'm just old anyway. But really, I fail to see the appeal of using a website over just using email. Is it just because it looks cool?

You can set up a separate gmail for free, put the address where ever, and people can email you. Then it's super simple to email them back if you have a question or to confirm you've received it. It's all in one place, searchable, free, with little risk of glitches. 

MCmeow

Tyvm said:

show previous quotes

So, ALL correspondence should really be done on ONE platform - electronically or snail mail.  And if you're sending paper invites, as one normally does for a formal event such as a wedding, you really aught to collect any RSVPs via paper/snail mail.

@PoodleDoodleOoo That makes sense, except many of these online RSVP systems allow you to snail mail out a link to the event, but also send email invitations out (GloSite and Greenvelope in particular, maybe also Appy Couple). So, people can respond to the online RSVP via the email they receive, but they can also pin the paper invite to the fridge.

show previous quotes

guests register with a code you give them and based on their email they can only see the event they were invited to

@MCmeow In theory this sounds good, but in practice...people are going to misplace their access codes. This is why online registries let you search for a couple's name, and these other RSVP websites let guests search for their own names. Bits of paper always go missing...and people are lazy.

@Tyvm I agree, I can't imagine every single person wouldn't lose a code, but I think they also have a system to request the code if you lose it.