Recognizing Parents/Grandparents/Godparents in Ceremony

paulisauce

I really want to find a way to recognize my extended parental family at some point in the ceremony.  I would like my dad and my Godfather to walk me down the aisle, but my sister thinks this is a bad idea and that my dad will get upset.  I want to recognize my Godparents in some way.  My mother died 16 years ago and my Godparents were her best friends.  I also want to recognize both of my Grandmothers, and my fiance's Mother and Grandmother.  The only thing I have seen is the "Rose Ceremony" which is usually done in conjunction with the unity candle, which we are not doing.  I thought we might be able to do a sort of rose ceremony when I first get to the altar, but I don't know if that will work.  I just want them all to be involved and realize how much we appreciate them.  Any ideas?

Catwoman708

I think it's very sweet you want to include all these people in your wedding because they are special to you. But I do agree that most dads have looked forward to the day they walk their daughters down the aisle.  To ask him to share that duty, might hurt his feelings a little, whether he shows it or not.

Speaking for myself, as a parent and a Godparent, (no grandkids yet), I can assure you they already know they are special to you, as you are to them, and won't expect to be part of the ceremony.  It will already be a special occasion to them, just to be there and to see you happily "married off". 

Actually, if they are part of the ceremony, they may be nervous and distracted, and not be able to enjoy the ceremony as much. 

If it were me, I'd much rather have the bride TELL me I am special to her in private.  Weddings are emotional enough already, and I don't like crying in front of others, so I would not appreciate my emotions being part of the "entertainment" or "special meaning" of the ceremony.  The ceremony is, and should be about the bride and groom, not everyone else.

I would suggest a toast to them at the reception, a special handwritten note/letter explaining how important they are to you, and how much they mean to you, or dedicate a special song to them during the reception.  Or if you have programs, a "special thanks" section to mention them.

jennylove810

I completely agree with Catwoman!  Especially on how the ceremony should be about the bride and groom.  Thank these wonderful individuals in your program, or in a special note, but let the day remain about you.  Stopping to honor or recognize too many people can be distracting and confusing.  And, assuming you have a great relationship with your father, let him have his special solo moment walking you down the isle.  I love my grandfather and my stepfather and they're incredibly meaningful and important to me, but I know my father would be hurt if I took any of that one moment away from him.

HTH.

trix1223

As someone who has been MOB and MOG at my kids' weddings, I completely, completely, completely agree with catwoman.  She gave you great advice.

Your wedding ceremony is about you and your FI.  As the mom, I would not have been comfortable becoming the center of attention for any of the ceremony.

When our kids graduated from college, they all wrote me and my DH letters telling us what we meant to them, and how much they appreciated us helping to bring them to this point in their lives.  I still have those letters.

One their wedding days, DD and DS both told us how much they valued us being role models for a successful marriage, and how they hoped that theirs would be just like ours.

Done publicly, I would have been most uncomforrtable because those were cherished personal moments.  But privately, or in writing, it knocked my socks off.

One other thought:  when you begin publicly recognizing some people, especially when it becomes a list of several, you risk publicly slighting someone who might be hurt by it.

Your dad, your grandparents, and your Godparents know what they mean to you.  And my guess is that they wouldn't want it take away from your beautiful wedding ceremony.

Jamilynn627

We included extended family (Godparents, Grandparents, etc.) that we wanted to recognize in our processional. We also gave them all corsages/bouts.

TheCatSaidQuack

We gave each of our parents a letter we had written right before we were announced as husband and wife, and our inlaws a rose. We didnt have a unity candle ceremony either, and our pastor worded everything so it flowed really well.

ros3392

I to have been debating on how to recognize my grandparents, as they were very involved in my childhood and still remain very involved in my life. I thought about having both my grandfather and father walk me down the aisle, but my fiance said that my dad's feelings might be hurt, which I hadn't thought about.

 I am thinking of having a grandfather/grandaughter dance after the father/daughter dance. All of the ideas posted are great!