Wedding Woes

This is dumb. So, so dumb.

Dear Prudence,
I don’t use Facebook for much more than keeping up with family members, but recently noticed I had a message from a summer camp friend from when I was 13 (I’m almost 30). We were close as kids, and became Facebook friends at some point, but haven’t communicated since. He and I now live in the same city, and he wants to meet up. I bear no animus toward this person—how could I?—but I have no desire to rekindle a friendship I’ve let lay fallow for nearly two decades. I know he’s seen that I’ve read the message: Do I need to reply?

—Reconnecting Against My Will

Re: This is dumb. So, so dumb.

  • Why would LW even waste their time typing this up and sending it to Prudie?

  • Umm just ignore the message? If you don't want a friendship with him why do you care if he knows you read the message? 
  • What a strange reaction to a message. It's dinner with an old friend. Either go or don't, but it hardly means you're rekindling a friendship if you share a meal and catch up.

    I'd be weird and anxious about it, because that's who I am, but I would probably go have dinner.

  • Well, I'm reading this more as a question of "Do I have to respond at all?  Guy knows I've seen his message, so I'm not sure I can just ignore it."  I'm not really reading this as a "Should I go or not."  But that's something I have always HATED about FB, so I could be projecting... I hate that people can see if I've "seen" a post.  "Seeing" is not the same thing as "reading" and I hate feeling like I'm forced to respond.  If I want to respond, I'll do it when I'm ready, not when FB reminds me it's been 3 days since the message was sent and sender knows I've seen it.

    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • It would be nice to respond in some way - whether its "no thanks, i'm not interested in hanging out" or " sure, let's grab drinks sometime." OP could choose to ignore it and any potential follow-ups.

    Meeting an old friend for lunch or drinks doesn't obligate you to do anything further. It might be a little awkward, but you also might have a great time.
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