Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hoping I'm not being rude

So I've got a dilemma that came up this past weekend. 

Our wedding is July 9th at ABC Marina on XYZ Lake. Our and our friends' boats are docked down the hill from the event center, where the wedding is being held. Many of our friends have college-aged nieces and nephews (and their friends) who come and hang out on the docks during the summer. Since I'm not really close to these kids, I didn't invite them to the wedding, but after this past weekend they all know when its happening and where (friends were discussing it). They said they'll probably come out that weekend and just hang out at the docks and on the boats - no plans to crash the wedding - and that when the reception is over they'll join us for the afterparty on the docks. 

Am I being rude for not inviting them up to the wedding? I don't expect them to not hang out at the lake cause I don't own the lake and its an awesome place to hang out. But I feel like I'm waving the wedding in their face and going "Neener neener you can't come" even though adding them would put me wayyyy over budget and make the space really cramped. If it was one or two, I'd go ahead and add them in with their aunts/uncles, but its more like 20 extra people.


Re: Hoping I'm not being rude

  • Yea I wasn't bringing the wedding up at all and I felt bad when our friends were all like "Omg did you know Indigo and Philbert are getting married next month at the top of the hill?!" I kept trying to bean dip it since not everyone hanging out was invited to the wedding, but I started to run out of dip, lol. 

    And yea the afterparty is a totally open thing - byob, grab a chair, and chill with us. The sober ones will probably be loading up their boats for rides around the lake too. I was also thinking that if there was any leftovers from the buffet or cake, I'd bring those down since the caterer will pack them up for us. 
  • SP29SP29 member
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    Nope.

    Sounds like it was their aunts/uncles who invited them to the after party. And just because they are hanging around in a public place near your wedding doesn't mean you have to let them come.
  • indigo26 said:
    Yea I wasn't bringing the wedding up at all and I felt bad when our friends were all like "Omg did you know Indigo and Philbert are getting married next month at the top of the hill?!" I kept trying to bean dip it since not everyone hanging out was invited to the wedding, but I started to run out of dip, lol. 

    And yea the afterparty is a totally open thing - byob, grab a chair, and chill with us. The sober ones will probably be loading up their boats for rides around the lake too. I was also thinking that if there was any leftovers from the buffet or cake, I'd bring those down since the caterer will pack them up for us. 
    What on earth is bean dipping something? That sounds like a great expression to use! 
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  • Bean dipping is changing the topic of conversation. Someone asks you something or makes a suggestion that you're not fond of or don't want to discuss, so you bring up the hypothetical bean dip. 

    "So I think you should have watermelon and key lime as your colors for your wedding!"

    "I'll think about that, have you tried this bean dip? Its awesome!"

    In my case I was using my deviled eggs - "Have you tried the eggs yet? I added horseradish to them!"..... and then I started running out of eggs to distract people with, lol. 
  • No, you're not being rude at all. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • indigo26 said:
    Bean dipping is changing the topic of conversation. Someone asks you something or makes a suggestion that you're not fond of or don't want to discuss, so you bring up the hypothetical bean dip. 

    "So I think you should have watermelon and key lime as your colors for your wedding!"

    "I'll think about that, have you tried this bean dip? Its awesome!"

    In my case I was using my deviled eggs - "Have you tried the eggs yet? I added horseradish to them!"..... and then I started running out of eggs to distract people with, lol. 
    Thanks! And deviled eggs always make me think of that Gilmore Girls ep....
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  • I'm glad I'm not being rude - I've been trying super hard to not be "that" bride and I know as the wedding gets closer our friends are just going to keep talking about it. 
  • It sounds like these kids know perfectly well they are not invited...are totally cool with it...and are also looking forward to stopping by at the after party.  Probably to congratulate you all and raise a glass.  I think its sweet and a win-win.

    It does not at all sound like you said or did anything to make them think they were invited and/or rub it in their face that "here's an event a lot of your friends/family are going to, but not you".  The wedding was just a natural topic of conversation with the group of friends hanging out...some of whom are invited and some who aren't.  It happens.  Rational people know they are not invited to every event mentioned in their presence and it sounds like this group falls into the "rational" category.

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