"AHR" invitations

spockforprez

We were inviting the parents of a group of family friends to the wedding, but not their kids. Now that our "reception" has become less formal we'd like to expand the guest list and invite the kids. (The "kids" are all older than me, just FYI.) It's sort of a weird situation but they all live together - mom, dad, and the four kids with their spouses or partners (and their children). 

I was going to send them all an individual invite to the same address and asked my mom for the names of all their partners. She thinks it's fine to send one invite addressed to the parents "and family." That would definitely be easier than sending five invites to one address but not sure if it's etiquette-approved. Technically, this is not a wedding invitation, just a party invite. (No ceremony redo or formalized reception-related events or anything.)

Thoughts?

madamerwin

I think etiquette-wise, each social unit should get their own invitation (so the parents get one, their son and his family get one, the daughter and her family get one, etc.). The problem with "Parents and Family" is that there is a good chance they won't know for sure who's invited.

However, I also think it's a "know your crowd" thing. We sent one invite to my aunt and uncle and my young adult cousins because the kids still lived at home and were supported by their parents. No one was offended by it. If you really want to send only one, maybe give them a heads up when you mail the invited that you truly mean the entire family - all three generations - are invited.

SP29

I agree that the problem with "Smith and Family" is what do you mean by family? (Adult) Children? Children's children? Grandma?

The etiquette approved way would be to send each adult couple their own invitation.

I would not be offended at a verbal invite over the phone for the whole family, or if you send one invitation and are able to include all names on it.

lembaslover

Are you asking for people to RSVP? I feel like it'd be hard to fit all the names of people attending on the RSVP card unless you're just having them call or e-mail then I guess that wouldn't be an issue.

spockforprez

Hmm, thanks for the counsel, all! I'll stick to my original plan of sending individual invites. 

Haven't got all the way there but I doubt we'll do RSVP cards, probably just a phone RSVP like a regular party. @marriedhamstermom

poodledoodleooo

Send individual invites for sure. It can be so confusing as to who is in that family. MIL recently received an invite to a grad party that was & family and apparently it was to include DH and I... even though we don't live with her. It was way confusing as to whether or not we were really invited, so just to be clear, always list who is invited on the envelopes!

madamerwin

PoodleDoodleOoo said:

Send individual invites for sure. It can be so confusing as to who is in that family. MIL recently received an invite to a grad party that was & family and apparently it was to include DH and I... even though we don't live with her. It was way confusing as to whether or not we were really invited, so just to be clear, always list who is invited on the envelopes!

This is definitely confusing. In OP's case, though, they all live in the same house, which I think is the only time it would possibly (and only in some circumstances) make sense to send one invite for multiple social units. Not correct etiquette-wise, but I can see why sending multiple invites to one address may not be necessary.