Wedding Woes

Calling the whole thing off

edited June 2016 in Wedding Woes
I'm done trying to make everyone happy and prove that I'm at least trying to make progress toward being responsible. Tonight I'm talking to FW and calling the wedding off, and then I'm ending my life. She's better off without me, and so is everyone else. 

Before you call me a drama queen, consider that I've struggled with depression my whole life and am out of fucks to give. Nothing helps and I'm not capable of getting better.

ETA: I'm not blaming anyone but myself.
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Re: Calling the whole thing off

  • Wait!  Please talk to us (or someone)!

    image
  • We are here for you!
  • WHAT?! Wait?!  

    Don't do this.  I seriously hope this is not true!!! Please, please, please talk to someone. 
  • Please talk to someone!


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • I haven't been hacked, and this isn't a joke. I talked to FW, and once I get myself a bit more composed, I'm going to talk to my boss about taking some sick time.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Please take the time and please go immediately for help. 
    VarunaTT
  • @OurWildKingdom what did your FW say? Did you tell her you were thinking of ending your life? I think she would want to know you are thinking about this so she can really talk to you about everything that is going on. Do you have anyone who you do feel comfortable talking to about how you feel?
    image
  • I know you think nothing will help and you will never get better, but PLEASE, PLEASE talk to someone and let them help you before you hurt yourself!
    image
  • justsie said:
    @OurWildKingdom what did your FW say? Did you tell her you were thinking of ending your life? I think she would want to know you are thinking about this so she can really talk to you about everything that is going on. Do you have anyone who you do feel comfortable talking to about how you feel?
    She said no matter how I'm feeling, she's here for me, and she says I need to go get professional help now,
    CMGragainSP29MesmrEwe
  • @OurWildKingdom , please believe your FW.  Do you have a professional that you have been working with or have worked with before?

    image
  • justsie said:
    @OurWildKingdom what did your FW say? Did you tell her you were thinking of ending your life? I think she would want to know you are thinking about this so she can really talk to you about everything that is going on. Do you have anyone who you do feel comfortable talking to about how you feel?
    She said no matter how I'm feeling, she's here for me, and she says I need to go get professional help now,
    Are you considering doing that? I bet she will be happy to go with you if you ask her to. Have you ever attempted suicide before or considered it or is this the first time for you?
    image
  • MNNEBride said:
    @OurWildKingdom , please believe your FW.  Do you have a professional that you have been working with or have worked with before?

    I have a psychiatric nurse practitioner, but I don't have a therapist at the moment. I was given an appointment in two weeks but I'm supposed to be on vacation then. Looks like I'll be at that appointment after all.
  • MNNEBride said:
    @OurWildKingdom , please believe your FW.  Do you have a professional that you have been working with or have worked with before?

    I have a psychiatric nurse practitioner, but I don't have a therapist at the moment. I was given an appointment in two weeks but I'm supposed to be on vacation then. Looks like I'll be at that appointment after all.
    Can you call her or her office and let her know how you are feeling right now? They will probably adjust the appointment as it sounds like your needs are more immediate than what they may have thought when you made the appointment. 
    image
  • @OurWildKingdom, please get help ASAP. Your work is (should be) required by law (isn't FMLA nation wide?) to hold your position and you do not need their okay first. Your health is more important than anything.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    tigerlily6
  • justsie said:
    justsie said:
    @OurWildKingdom what did your FW say? Did you tell her you were thinking of ending your life? I think she would want to know you are thinking about this so she can really talk to you about everything that is going on. Do you have anyone who you do feel comfortable talking to about how you feel?
    She said no matter how I'm feeling, she's here for me, and she says I need to go get professional help now,
    Are you considering doing that? I bet she will be happy to go with you if you ask her to. Have you ever attempted suicide before or considered it or is this the first time for you?
    I've considered it many times, dating back to my teen years. I've been in the hospital five times and outpatient programs four times.
  • Is there any way you can get an appointment today, even if it's just a walk in?  And is there any way FW can go with you?


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • Can you please call that office and say that this is an emergency??

    Please, please PLEASE talk to her or someone in that office.   
  • We are all strangers to you, but we really don't want you to do something to hurt yourself. Please get help with your depression.
    image
    VarunaTTbleve0821OliveOilsMom
  • Call your nurse practitioner now and tell them it's an emergency.  If there is any hesitation by them, please go to the nearest Emergency Room and tell them what you are thinking.
    image
  • You can't wait for an appointment. Go to the nearest hospital, NOW.

    If you're not willing to do that, call the the suicide prevention hotline at

    1-800-273-TALK

    or you chat online with them, free, immediately at

    http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

    Hell, you can call me. I'll PM you a phone #.

    You might feel like this is your only option right now but it is NOT. Don't make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    OliveOilsMom
  • There is also the Trevor Project:  1-866-488-7386.

    And yes, have FW take you to the ER.  They will help you, immediately.  And you need it.  Please do.  We are all strangers; I very much enjoy your posts and feel a kinship with you as part of the LGBTQ community.  Get the help you need.

    charlotte989875OliveOilsMommrsconn23bleve0821
  • If the therapist won't give you an emergency appointment today go to the ER. 

    Another option is an urgent care location; they will see you quickly and usually cheaper than an ER if that's a concern. 

    Dont wait, please call someone that can help now. I know we're just internet strangers, but you are valuable to this community, to add to it in meaningful ways. You matter. 
    lnixon8
  • justsie said:
    @OurWildKingdom what did your FW say? Did you tell her you were thinking of ending your life? I think she would want to know you are thinking about this so she can really talk to you about everything that is going on. Do you have anyone who you do feel comfortable talking to about how you feel?
    She said no matter how I'm feeling, she's here for me, and she says I need to go get professional help now,
    Glad you're listening to FW and going to the hospital. I'm  thankful you have someone supportive. 
  • OWK, let us know how you get on. Please know that you matter, you deserve help. Sending all the vibes your way.
                 
  • OWK, I can't do anything but lend all of my support (for what it's worth, as a total stranger) to you.  I really, truly hope you get the help and support you need and that you become able to overcome and find hope and joy in your life again.  I am glad to hear you are taking steps in that direction.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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