Wedding Woes

Could this be helped with sex therapy?

Dear Prudence,
I have been married for 20 years to a great guy. I have a big problem, though: I have never liked sex with him. He is a great father and husband, but the sex has never been good. He is the best I have ever had, but if his penis fell off today, I would probably be doing a happy dance in my head. I have to be drunk to have sex with him now and he knows it—and it hurts him. I don’t think I want a divorce. I wonder if letting him sleep around would be the answer. I just worry that if he actually did that I would regret that decision.

 —Unhappy Wife

Re: Could this be helped with sex therapy?

  • I think I need more details on why she hates having sex with him, and yes, this could possibly be fixed in sex therapy. Why did she let it go on for so long, though.  And, why does she say that it's the best sex she has ever had, but hates it.

    Me thinks she may have had some kind of trauma in her life and hates all sex.

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    kimmiinthemittenSP29
  • I need so much more information on this one.  

    Does she have an undiagnosed medical (physical or mental condition)? What about sex isn't enjoyable for her? Why, why, why did she wait so long?!
  • I'd be so hurt if FI could only have sex with me when he was drunk, I can't imagine. I agree with Mrs C, if LW doesnt want a divorce but this is an issue then she really needs to seek some professional help.
                 
  • I'm wondering how it went 20 years without her thinking there is a problem. Also I wonder if she really doesn't like it or she just has a low sex drive. DH and I have been together for 3 years and we had a couple of small fights because I had a low sex drive on BCP. It wasn't that I didn't like it though I just didn't want to as much as he did. Good news is being off has really done wonders, I don't think I'll ever go back.

    I hope LW gets professional help. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    SP29tigerlily6
  • There are bigger issues than just the sex...
    tigerlily6
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