Wedding Woes


Dear Prudence,
I’m a recently divorced 32-year-old who has a very volatile relationship with my ex-husband. We work together, so I’ve tried to be friends, but the way he looks at me just sends me right back to square one. He told me we would never be together and that I should move on. Finally, I met someone who is perfect for me; I see him as being a great potential husband and father. I love him, but I don’t feel like I did with my ex. We’ve been together nine months, but watching my former lover flirt with other women in my face drives me insane. He’ll come back every few weeks, profess his love for me, then turn around and tell me to stay with the man I’m with.

I try to convince myself that my current boyfriend will truly be enough for me. My lease is ending and my boyfriend has asked me to move in with him. Maybe it’s just too soon to move in with someone, or maybe it’s just the finality of my divorce being completed this spring, but these past few days I’ve been considering ending my relationship. I feel awful. I hate myself for feeling like this, because I’m tearing myself apart inside and can’t tell anyone. What do I do?


Re: Wut?

  • @ShesSoCold, I want to like that more than once!  :D 
  • She needs a new job and a new apartment. 
  • I try to convince myself that my current boyfriend will truly be enough for me.

    That statement alone.   Ugh.  If it was a friend of mine, I would definitely be all (nicely), "Do you hear yourself?" 

    Get some therapy, a new job, and a new place to live. 
  • I think she should move to a different city and get a new start.
  • Get a new job, do not move in with new guy, get some therapy.  Not necessarily in that order, but all should be done.  She also should end it with new guy in order to work on herself and allow her to find a place where she can be happy alone.  It's also not fair to new guy, he is much more into this relationship than LW is.

    LW also had a self-described "volatile" relationship with her ex.  Why is she even trying to be friends with him?  If you HAVE to work with this person, you just keep your distance and be cordial when you must interact.

  • Clearly things ended badly with the first guy so why is she worried she doesn't feel the same about the new guy? It didn't work out the first time so maybe it's not a good thing.

    Another vote for new start.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'm a little hung up on the fact that her ex keeps expressing his love to her, then flirting with other girls and telling her to see other people.  Does that smack a little of emotional abuse, or is that just me?  Maybe he's trying to sabotage her new relationship, and she's letting him get to her.  I hope that she has brought up to HR the difficulty - it sounds like she should break all contact as much as she can.
    It's also not fair to her new guy . . . I say clean slate, no guys, date yourself for a bit.  Being single really isn't that bad sometimes.  

  • LW needs a new job... new apartment... and no "Rebound" for at least a year after the paperwork is finalized - Good friends, yes, relationship, oh HE** no!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards