How to discuss bridesmaid dress budget

runawaybride38

Hi Knotties! First time poster, though I've been lurking for about six weeks. I've already learned so much from you, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

One thing I learned from lurking was that it's proper to ask the bridesmaids for their budget before selecting the bridesmaid dress. But how on earth do I word that question tactfully?

I am planning to choose a specific collection (either David's Bridal or a collection from a designer widely available at bridal stores) and let my maids choose their preferred dress within that collection, which we'll order in the color (emerald green or its equivalent in that collection). But, even though dress prices will vary within collections, I don't want to choose a collection where even the lowest priced option is above someone's budget.

I'm composing a mass e-mail to my maids, but for the life of me, I cannot think of a way to word this question without feeling like I'm being nosy. Right now I have something like "If you have any budget concerns, please don't be shy about letting me know privately. If I know what everyone is comfortable spending, I can steer the group toward a collection that works for everyone."

What do you think?

artbyallie

Okay, stop and back up. No mass e-mail. Call or text each one individually and ask, "What is your max budget for a bridesmaid dress?" Then compare and choose a line that does not exceed the lowest number you get.

bohobrideCA

runawaybride38 said:

Hi Knotties! First time poster, though I've been lurking for about six weeks. I've already learned so much from you, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

One thing I learned from lurking was that it's proper to ask the bridesmaids for their budget before selecting the bridesmaid dress. But how on earth do I word that question tactfully?

I am planning to choose a specific collection (either David's Bridal or a collection from a designer widely available at bridal stores) and let my maids choose their preferred dress within that collection, which we'll order in the color (emerald green or its equivalent in that collection). But, even though dress prices will vary within collections, I don't want to choose a collection where even the lowest priced option is above someone's budget.

I'm composing a mass e-mail to my maids, but for the life of me, I cannot think of a way to word this question without feeling like I'm being nosy. Right now I have something like "If you have any budget concerns, please don't be shy about letting me know privately. If I know what everyone is comfortable spending, I can steer the group toward a collection that works for everyone."

What do you think?

As PP said, no mass email. Also, everyone has a budget, don't ask "IF you have a budget concern" ask each of them what is the most they are comfortable spending. This seems nitpicky but it's important, otherwise you'll get a whole lot of "whatever you think".

 How large are these gaps between prices in budget? Obviously you're not going to chose the collection that has the cheapest dress over someones budget but you should also make sure the collection has a few choices within each persons budget. 

charlotte989875

Yup, no mass email. Email individually or call/text/however you typically communicate. Just ask "what is your budget for a dress"? Then make sure whatever dress collection you choose is under the lowest budget you're given. 

A few things to be aware of when selecting a dress collection. If you ask what the max budget is and BM says $200, don't pick a $200 dress. You need to estimate tax as well if you want to keep it under that amount. The other thing to maybe do is consider alteration costs (if they'd likely need it). I'm tall and a fairly standard dress size so I rarely need alterations (super lucky I know). So if they tell you the total budget for the dress is X make sure you pick something low enough under that to factor in tax, any shopping cost (if that's required), and alteration estimate. 

levioosa

No mass email.  Just ask each girl privately and individually what their budget is for a dress. It's direct, and it will lead to better results.  As a PP said, if you tell them to let you know about their budget concerns (especially in a mass email) you're going to get "it's totally fine!  Whatever you want!" replies, and those aren't helpful to anyone. 

JediElizabeth

bohobrideCA said:

runawaybride38 said:

Hi Knotties! First time poster, though I've been lurking for about six weeks. I've already learned so much from you, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

One thing I learned from lurking was that it's proper to ask the bridesmaids for their budget before selecting the bridesmaid dress. But how on earth do I word that question tactfully?

I am planning to choose a specific collection (either David's Bridal or a collection from a designer widely available at bridal stores) and let my maids choose their preferred dress within that collection, which we'll order in the color (emerald green or its equivalent in that collection). But, even though dress prices will vary within collections, I don't want to choose a collection where even the lowest priced option is above someone's budget.

I'm composing a mass e-mail to my maids, but for the life of me, I cannot think of a way to word this question without feeling like I'm being nosy. Right now I have something like "If you have any budget concerns, please don't be shy about letting me know privately. If I know what everyone is comfortable spending, I can steer the group toward a collection that works for everyone."

What do you think?

As PP said, no mass email. Also, everyone has a budget, don't ask "IF you have a budget concern" ask each of them what is the most they are comfortable spending. This seems nitpicky but it's important, otherwise you'll get a whole lot of "whatever you think".

 How large are these gaps between prices in budget? Obviously you're not going to chose the collection that has the cheapest dress over someones budget but you should also make sure the collection has a few choices within each persons budget. 

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

southernbelle0915

Don't do a mass email or group text or anything where anyone can see others' responses.

Get in touch with each person privately.

"Hi BM - I'm so excited to have you in the wedding, but I don't want this whole thing to break the bank for you."

"Cool thanks!"

"I want to make sure I don't pick a dress that's over your budget, so do you have some idea of how much you'd like to spend?"

"I want to get whatever dress you want and others want"

"No really. Think about it and let me know a number so I can start shopping."

missJeanLouise

If you aren't looking for them to match, you could always tell them to choose a dress in X length or Y fabric from Davids bridal in the agreed upon color.

runawaybride38

Thank you so much for all of your responses! I definitely had no intention of having people reply in such a way that their responses could be seen by others. I even considered having everyone write a number on a slip of paper and drop it into a hat anonymously! I'm so worried about embarrassing or offending anyone. Money is a delicate subject, but I know it's crucial to discuss here.

David's has a fairly wide price range, right? It seems like that'll be the best choice as far as style and price options.

I'll discuss with each girl individually using the wording suggested above.

And great point about taxes and alterations! I'll make sure I've taken those into consideration as well.

Thanks again!

madamerwin

runawaybride38 said:

Thank you so much for all of your responses! I definitely had no intention of having people reply in such a way that their responses could be seen by others. I even considered having everyone write a number on a slip of paper and drop it into a hat anonymously! I'm so worried about embarrassing or offending anyone. Money is a delicate subject, but I know it's crucial to discuss here.

David's has a fairly wide price range, right? It seems like that'll be the best choice as far as style and price options.

I'll discuss with each girl individually using the wording suggested above.

And great point about taxes and alterations! I'll make sure I've taken those into consideration as well.

Thanks again!

Don't do the bolded. That will probably make everyone more uncomfortable, and it's just weird.

Just ask each one individually, either via text or email. "Hey BM, I am looking at bridesmaid dresses and I wanted to find out what your budget is. Please let me know so I can get some options together!"

If you are so uncomfortable discussing money that you cannot ask your good friends privately and directly, there is a bigger issue here. No one should be embarrassed about it; these women agreed to be bridesmaids, and they likely know they will need to spend something on a dress. They will likely appreciate you asking them directly instead of making assumptions - it shows you have some awareness that different people may have different budgets.

OliveOilsMom

If you are afraid of the conversation, then I would just tell your BM that a long length dress in emerald green is what you want them to have.  There may even be an option to rent a dress that is emerald green (Renttherunway.com has one, I believe) and it could be much cheaper than purchasing.

I do disagree with everyone else that a group email is ok, as long as you specify that you would like each person to reply back to you separately with their budget.  Most people know the difference between reply and reply all.  Or at the least, they can create a new email with their budget.  I did this when I was MOH for my sister, for the b-party we wanted to get shirts made (I know, I know - but its very common where I live). 

I took up the organizing of it with the other BMs, we were FB messaging and I just said, please separately let me know your budget for the shirt, including size and proposed color.  Each BM messaged me separately with their choices.  I then when back to the group message and said, here is the shirt I'm purchasing, I will be personalizing them myself, and red is the majorities color choice.  Total price is $x, which I made sure was lower than everyone's budget.

bohobrideCA

runawaybride38 said:

Thank you so much for all of your responses! I definitely had no intention of having people reply in such a way that their responses could be seen by others. I even considered having everyone write a number on a slip of paper and drop it into a hat anonymously! I'm so worried about embarrassing or offending anyone. Money is a delicate subject, but I know it's crucial to discuss here.

David's has a fairly wide price range, right? It seems like that'll be the best choice as far as style and price options.

I'll discuss with each girl individually using the wording suggested above.

And great point about taxes and alterations! I'll make sure I've taken those into consideration as well.

Thanks again!

David's bridal is a good choice, the sales associates there can pull every emerald green dress in each of the girl's budgets and they can have their choice from there. Generally DB is good for budgets starting at $100 though, options are pretty limited under that honestly. 

ernursej

I personally prefer the individual text message as you give the responder time to reply so they can think about it and not reply immediately with a knee jerk reaction. I would also ask for the budget to include any potential alterations. I might be willing to spend $100 on a dress AND alterations or $100 on a dress and then more on alterations if necessary.

I find that DB has the best selection for different dress types within a colour palate which is great if you have maids that are different sizes/shapes.

Edit for words ...

MesmrEwe

Pick up the phone and call!  Or, just pick your color/fabric and tell them go to David's...  If they hurry, they can get in on the spring clearance with some of the dresses being in the $39 range!!

That said - as @charlotte989875 pointed out, if they say their budget is $200, remember to factor in the cost of a strapless, shoes, alterations (which can EASILY double the cost of the dress), and accessories.  A corset style strapless is around $70, shoes (let them choose their own which can be anywhere from $20 to ???)..

JediElizabeth

MesmrEwe said:

Pick up the phone and call!  Or, just pick your color/fabric and tell them go to David's...  If they hurry, they can get in on the spring clearance with some of the dresses being in the $39 range!!

That said - as @charlotte989875 pointed out, if they say their budget is $200, remember to factor in the cost of a strapless, shoes, alterations (which can EASILY double the cost of the dress), and accessories.  A corset style strapless is around $70, shoes (let them choose their own which can be anywhere from $20 to ???)..

That may be going overboard. I mean, if I get to choose my own shoes and accessories, I'm wearing things I already own. And if a bride asks me for my dress budget, I'm going to tell her the budget for my dress, not the budget for my dress + bra + shoes + jewelry.....

STARMOON44

JediElizabeth said:

bohobrideCA said:

runawaybride38 said:

Hi Knotties! First time poster, though I've been lurking for about six weeks. I've already learned so much from you, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

One thing I learned from lurking was that it's proper to ask the bridesmaids for their budget before selecting the bridesmaid dress. But how on earth do I word that question tactfully?

I am planning to choose a specific collection (either David's Bridal or a collection from a designer widely available at bridal stores) and let my maids choose their preferred dress within that collection, which we'll order in the color (emerald green or its equivalent in that collection). But, even though dress prices will vary within collections, I don't want to choose a collection where even the lowest priced option is above someone's budget.

I'm composing a mass e-mail to my maids, but for the life of me, I cannot think of a way to word this question without feeling like I'm being nosy. Right now I have something like "If you have any budget concerns, please don't be shy about letting me know privately. If I know what everyone is comfortable spending, I can steer the group toward a collection that works for everyone."

What do you think?

As PP said, no mass email. Also, everyone has a budget, don't ask "IF you have a budget concern" ask each of them what is the most they are comfortable spending. This seems nitpicky but it's important, otherwise you'll get a whole lot of "whatever you think".

 How large are these gaps between prices in budget? Obviously you're not going to chose the collection that has the cheapest dress over someones budget but you should also make sure the collection has a few choices within each persons budget. 

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

MissKittyDanger

As PPs have said, no mass email. Take a look at places outside of bridal stores, because many around this time will have some gorgeous dresses because of prom OR have a 'bridal boutique' idea.

When looking, please try to find a dress your ladies will WANT to wear again if they're paying for it.

Once you find a common budget {always go for lowest people can afford} do some browsing to find places that will help. We found dresses at a non-bridal store and after taxes was bang on price! Mine was simple since it was a black dress. I paid for a sash to be tied around their waist {empire waistline} since it was extra.

JediElizabeth

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

bohobrideCA said:

runawaybride38 said:

Hi Knotties! First time poster, though I've been lurking for about six weeks. I've already learned so much from you, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

One thing I learned from lurking was that it's proper to ask the bridesmaids for their budget before selecting the bridesmaid dress. But how on earth do I word that question tactfully?

I am planning to choose a specific collection (either David's Bridal or a collection from a designer widely available at bridal stores) and let my maids choose their preferred dress within that collection, which we'll order in the color (emerald green or its equivalent in that collection). But, even though dress prices will vary within collections, I don't want to choose a collection where even the lowest priced option is above someone's budget.

I'm composing a mass e-mail to my maids, but for the life of me, I cannot think of a way to word this question without feeling like I'm being nosy. Right now I have something like "If you have any budget concerns, please don't be shy about letting me know privately. If I know what everyone is comfortable spending, I can steer the group toward a collection that works for everyone."

What do you think?

As PP said, no mass email. Also, everyone has a budget, don't ask "IF you have a budget concern" ask each of them what is the most they are comfortable spending. This seems nitpicky but it's important, otherwise you'll get a whole lot of "whatever you think".

 How large are these gaps between prices in budget? Obviously you're not going to chose the collection that has the cheapest dress over someones budget but you should also make sure the collection has a few choices within each persons budget. 

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

thisismynickname2

JediElizabeth said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

bohobrideCA said:

runawaybride38 said:

Hi Knotties! First time poster, though I've been lurking for about six weeks. I've already learned so much from you, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

One thing I learned from lurking was that it's proper to ask the bridesmaids for their budget before selecting the bridesmaid dress. But how on earth do I word that question tactfully?

I am planning to choose a specific collection (either David's Bridal or a collection from a designer widely available at bridal stores) and let my maids choose their preferred dress within that collection, which we'll order in the color (emerald green or its equivalent in that collection). But, even though dress prices will vary within collections, I don't want to choose a collection where even the lowest priced option is above someone's budget.

I'm composing a mass e-mail to my maids, but for the life of me, I cannot think of a way to word this question without feeling like I'm being nosy. Right now I have something like "If you have any budget concerns, please don't be shy about letting me know privately. If I know what everyone is comfortable spending, I can steer the group toward a collection that works for everyone."

What do you think?

As PP said, no mass email. Also, everyone has a budget, don't ask "IF you have a budget concern" ask each of them what is the most they are comfortable spending. This seems nitpicky but it's important, otherwise you'll get a whole lot of "whatever you think".

 How large are these gaps between prices in budget? Obviously you're not going to chose the collection that has the cheapest dress over someones budget but you should also make sure the collection has a few choices within each persons budget. 

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

STUCK IN BOX

Nobody would have to cater to the lowest budget if people would just let bridesmaids select their own dresses. I said black cocktail dresses. My sister bought a $200 WHBM dress. One girl got another WHBM dress but on sale (maybe spent $100?) and she's worn it several times since to other occasions. One other girl took something from her closet that had cost her $5 at Goodwill several years ago. The last also took something from her closet (and I have no idea what that dress cost originally, but the point is she already owned it). 

For the OP, getting a green dress at DB is a fairly economical solution for most people as there are a wide range of styles and costs. If any bridal party member couldn't afford even a $100 dress, then OP may want to consider relaxing the standards even more to "any" green dress (or considering chipping in for costs). 

DrillSergeantCat

I am only having 2 BMs so it's not too big of a logistical nightmare with regards to their dresses, but I picked out a color and told them to pick whatever dress they wanted in that color. They ended up picking the same dress. Which funnily enough is the same dress in a different color that my BM chose for her wedding the month after mine that I am a BM in. This dress is like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. It literally looks good on everyone. 

PrettyGirlLost

JediElizabeth said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

That's not possible, though.  If I tell the bride my budget is $100 or less and you tell the bride your budget is $200, the bride better choose a dress that is $100 or less.  Otherwise, what was the point in her asking for budgets?

My budget is not going to magically increase just because you personally need more alterations.  Your alteration costs are your responsibility.  And if you personally want to spend more on a dress than I do, then feel free!

Most people need to have dresses, especially BM dresses altered in some manner.  Few people have the proportions that designers design around.

And I have *never* been able to wear a BM dress again.  Never.  I have 10 of them in my closet waiting to be donated.  Even if a Bride was like "Pick any dress in this color from David's Bridal" I highly doubt I'd be able to wear that dress again.  Most of their BM dresses look decidedly like BM dresses.

However, if a bride said "Pick ANY dress in this color" there's a greater chance of me being able to wear it again.  Because a cocktail dress off the rack at Macy's or Nordie's doesn't look like a typical BM dress hanging in a bridal store.

JediElizabeth

PrettyGirlLost said:

JediElizabeth said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

That's not possible, though.  If I tell the bride my budget is $100 or less and you tell the bride your budget is $200, the bride better choose a dress that is $100 or less.  Otherwise, what was the point in her asking for budgets?

My budget is not going to magically increase just because you personally need more alterations.  Your alteration costs are your responsibility.  And if you personally want to spend more on a dress than I do, then feel free!

Most people need to have dresses, especially BM dresses altered in some manner.  Few people have the proportions that designers design around.

And I have *never* been able to wear a BM dress again.  Never.  I have 10 of them in my closet waiting to be donated.  Even if a Bride was like "Pick any dress in this color from David's Bridal" I highly doubt I'd be able to wear that dress again.  Most of their BM dresses look decidedly like BM dresses.

However, if a bride said "Pick ANY dress in this color" there's a greater chance of me being able to wear it again.  Because a cocktail dress off the rack at Macy's or Nordie's doesn't look like a typical BM dress hanging in a bridal store.

@PrettyGirlLost, I think we're just on completely different pages here...I'm talking about this OP in particular, who's looking for a collection for her BMs, not a single dress. I'm saying that if she does that, make sure it has a broad range of cost (and support), since someone above said to only cater to the lowest number given. 

I think it's a bad idea to only pick one dress because it's so hard to find something for everyone, and I'm personally only giving my party colors to work with and choose their own. But that wasn't the OP's question.

PrettyGirlLost

JediElizabeth said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

JediElizabeth said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

That's not possible, though.  If I tell the bride my budget is $100 or less and you tell the bride your budget is $200, the bride better choose a dress that is $100 or less.  Otherwise, what was the point in her asking for budgets?

My budget is not going to magically increase just because you personally need more alterations.  Your alteration costs are your responsibility.  And if you personally want to spend more on a dress than I do, then feel free!

Most people need to have dresses, especially BM dresses altered in some manner.  Few people have the proportions that designers design around.

And I have *never* been able to wear a BM dress again.  Never.  I have 10 of them in my closet waiting to be donated.  Even if a Bride was like "Pick any dress in this color from David's Bridal" I highly doubt I'd be able to wear that dress again.  Most of their BM dresses look decidedly like BM dresses.

However, if a bride said "Pick ANY dress in this color" there's a greater chance of me being able to wear it again.  Because a cocktail dress off the rack at Macy's or Nordie's doesn't look like a typical BM dress hanging in a bridal store.

@PrettyGirlLost, I think we're just on completely different pages here...I'm talking about this OP in particular, who's looking for a collection for her BMs, not a single dress. I'm saying that if she does that, make sure it has a broad range of cost (and support), since someone above said to only cater to the lowest number given. 

I think it's a bad idea to only pick one dress because it's so hard to find something for everyone, and I'm personally only giving my party colors to work with and choose their own. But that wasn't the OP's question.

Ah gotcha.  I got confused!

Agreed, with a collection it makes sense to make sure you have options that range from the lowest price point given to the highest.  Then everyone picks what they want.

STARMOON44

JediElizabeth said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

JediElizabeth said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

That's not possible, though.  If I tell the bride my budget is $100 or less and you tell the bride your budget is $200, the bride better choose a dress that is $100 or less.  Otherwise, what was the point in her asking for budgets?

My budget is not going to magically increase just because you personally need more alterations.  Your alteration costs are your responsibility.  And if you personally want to spend more on a dress than I do, then feel free!

Most people need to have dresses, especially BM dresses altered in some manner.  Few people have the proportions that designers design around.

And I have *never* been able to wear a BM dress again.  Never.  I have 10 of them in my closet waiting to be donated.  Even if a Bride was like "Pick any dress in this color from David's Bridal" I highly doubt I'd be able to wear that dress again.  Most of their BM dresses look decidedly like BM dresses.

However, if a bride said "Pick ANY dress in this color" there's a greater chance of me being able to wear it again.  Because a cocktail dress off the rack at Macy's or Nordie's doesn't look like a typical BM dress hanging in a bridal store.

@PrettyGirlLost, I think we're just on completely different pages here...I'm talking about this OP in particular, who's looking for a collection for her BMs, not a single dress. I'm saying that if she does that, make sure it has a broad range of cost (and support), since someone above said to only cater to the lowest number given. 

I think it's a bad idea to only pick one dress because it's so hard to find something for everyone, and I'm personally only giving my party colors to work with and choose their own. But that wasn't the OP's question.

Is this even how collections work though? The ones I've seen tend to be pretty similar in cost across the line, and I think that's fine. 

PrettyGirlLost

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

JediElizabeth said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

That's not possible, though.  If I tell the bride my budget is $100 or less and you tell the bride your budget is $200, the bride better choose a dress that is $100 or less.  Otherwise, what was the point in her asking for budgets?

My budget is not going to magically increase just because you personally need more alterations.  Your alteration costs are your responsibility.  And if you personally want to spend more on a dress than I do, then feel free!

Most people need to have dresses, especially BM dresses altered in some manner.  Few people have the proportions that designers design around.

And I have *never* been able to wear a BM dress again.  Never.  I have 10 of them in my closet waiting to be donated.  Even if a Bride was like "Pick any dress in this color from David's Bridal" I highly doubt I'd be able to wear that dress again.  Most of their BM dresses look decidedly like BM dresses.

However, if a bride said "Pick ANY dress in this color" there's a greater chance of me being able to wear it again.  Because a cocktail dress off the rack at Macy's or Nordie's doesn't look like a typical BM dress hanging in a bridal store.

@PrettyGirlLost, I think we're just on completely different pages here...I'm talking about this OP in particular, who's looking for a collection for her BMs, not a single dress. I'm saying that if she does that, make sure it has a broad range of cost (and support), since someone above said to only cater to the lowest number given. 

I think it's a bad idea to only pick one dress because it's so hard to find something for everyone, and I'm personally only giving my party colors to work with and choose their own. But that wasn't the OP's question.

Is this even how collections work though? The ones I've seen tend to be pretty similar in cost across the line, and I think that's fine. 

If you consider David's Bridal itself as the collection, then that store has dresses ranging from $50 sale dresses to $200 Vera Wang dresses.  But if you consider Vera Wang's designer line as the collection, then most of the dresses are the same price.

thisismynickname2

PrettyGirlLost said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

JediElizabeth said:

STARMOON44 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This. I'm a snob about clothes, mostly because most of them look awful on me. If someone's budget is $50 and mine is $200, I'm going to want to get something at least in the $100-$150 range, because generally I need more structured (and usually more expensive) than some other girls. Maybe you don't need to have a $50-$1,000 range, but definitely make sure that the girls who want to spend a little more can.

I'm sorry you're such a snob but this is entitled nonsense. If someone's budget is $50, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to select a $50 dress. The bride doesn't need to make sure you can spend more money, she just needs to select a dress you can wear comfortably, which isn't, your snobbery aside, necessarily a matter of price. 

Yes, a bride can choose whatever she likes, but I'm saying that if you're letting your BMs chose their own dresses and want all your BMs to feel comfortable, you should probably take all their asks into account, not just the lowest. And as a short, curvy woman, finding a cheap, flattering dress with the kind of support I need is HARD. I'd much rather spend more on something I'd actually like than something I'll just donate afterwards. Isn't that the point of letting them pick out their own dresses?

That's not possible, though.  If I tell the bride my budget is $100 or less and you tell the bride your budget is $200, the bride better choose a dress that is $100 or less.  Otherwise, what was the point in her asking for budgets?

My budget is not going to magically increase just because you personally need more alterations.  Your alteration costs are your responsibility.  And if you personally want to spend more on a dress than I do, then feel free!

Most people need to have dresses, especially BM dresses altered in some manner.  Few people have the proportions that designers design around.

And I have *never* been able to wear a BM dress again.  Never.  I have 10 of them in my closet waiting to be donated.  Even if a Bride was like "Pick any dress in this color from David's Bridal" I highly doubt I'd be able to wear that dress again.  Most of their BM dresses look decidedly like BM dresses.

However, if a bride said "Pick ANY dress in this color" there's a greater chance of me being able to wear it again.  Because a cocktail dress off the rack at Macy's or Nordie's doesn't look like a typical BM dress hanging in a bridal store.

@PrettyGirlLost, I think we're just on completely different pages here...I'm talking about this OP in particular, who's looking for a collection for her BMs, not a single dress. I'm saying that if she does that, make sure it has a broad range of cost (and support), since someone above said to only cater to the lowest number given. 

I think it's a bad idea to only pick one dress because it's so hard to find something for everyone, and I'm personally only giving my party colors to work with and choose their own. But that wasn't the OP's question.

Is this even how collections work though? The ones I've seen tend to be pretty similar in cost across the line, and I think that's fine. 

If you consider David's Bridal itself as the collection, then that store has dresses ranging from $50 sale dresses to $200 Vera Wang dresses.  But if you consider Vera Wang's designer line as the collection, then most of the dresses are the same price.

Yeah, speaking from experience, DBs has so much selection in their own name that the color and fabric thing is easy to nail in a variety of styles and prices. We said "anything in DB purple" (forgot the name of the purple, sorry) and we had tons of stuff to choose from, especially as the fabric didn't matter- some of us were in chiffon and others in satin- looked great in the end. I actually wanted a Vera dress but that purple didn't match the DB purple so I had to switch my selection. 
Conversely, we did a collection (forgot which designer) through Nordstrom for another wedding. There were at least 7 different styles but basically all the same price. It worked to accommodate the 8 bridesmaids' body types but wouldn't have worked if any of us were particularly cash-strapped.