Looking for some serious advice.
I'm not really sure what my mother's problem is. We've always been pretty close, but she's a very difficult person to understand and be around. She's intense, stubborn, and never wrong. She's not liked any of my significant others - not a single one. But she appears to hate my fiance the most. My fiance is a kind person - caring, loving, and genuine. We started dating almost two years ago and he proposed in December. When I told my mom, she seemed excited on the phone and she keeps sending me links to different "mother of the bride" dresses she finds online. However, now that the wedding planning is getting real and we're trying to decide if we want to get married in 2017 or 2018, she's starting to act really negative.
Our conversation started off today with her telling me that she didn't like my fiance because he "never did anything" with me. She thinks that I'm going to miss out on life because I haven't traveled recently and that I should be traveling all the time (mind you - I've taken several trips across the country within the last two years but just started a new job that doesn't give me as much flexibility with my schedule as the old one) and not even considering marriage because I'm young (27). She also claims that I'm planning a wedding for myself and my fiance's family because our family lives 8 hours away and she lives 5 hours away and she says no one will want to come. My fiance's family lives no more than 15 minutes down the road and this has been a constant issue with her. She also says that I'm alienating my family by planning a wedding here instead of back home. THEN she changes gears and says we should just elope and forget about a wedding.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
I want my mother to be involved. She's my mom. But I cannot handle her like this. She's gotten much worse over the last two months and I've asked her what she wants from me to make her happy. At this point, I'm so over everything that I don't even want to plan the wedding anymore because she makes me feel so guilty for living in the city that I live in, for moving here in the first place, and for wanting to plan a wedding here. It's easier for me and I won't have to travel between places to set things up, plus it'll be so easy to keep the guest list smaller and save on money. I've already told her that she's stuck with my fiance because he's not going anywhere. I love him. We bought a house together and have already started our lives together. He's not going anywhere. That, of course, didn't sit well with her and we didn't speak for almost two months because of it.
I'm not asking her for money, or anyone, for that matter - I never intended to. This is all coming out of our pockets. She mentioned planning a party back home, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to afford a wedding, let alone a SECOND reception 8 hours away.
Has anyone been through something like this? What do I do? HELP!!!!