Buzzfeed - Etiquette Rules

Greenjinjo

Anyone else seen this? Tbh it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/terripous/american-wedding-etiquette?utm_term=.btxw8DBpm#.clQkMb0Z2

geebee908

There was this gem in the article:

"If nontraditional registries confuse or annoy you, consider the following: A honeymoon registry (much like a regular registry) isn’t a donation box, but rather a request for unique adventures that they’ll be incredibly thankful that you facilitated, and what could be a better present than that?"

Someone needs to educate the author about how honeyfunds actually work.

monkeysip

Thank goodness the person writing this article at least recognizes that gifts are not mandatory:

"But sometimes I read those viral stories about couples who flip out on people who don’t give a gift…

OK, but why are you friends with the kind of person who would do that?"

ernursej

I think the thing about honeymoon registries that bothers me is the portion of money that goes to the company. That doesn't happen with traditional registries. I don't think that anyone would be comfortable paying $100 for 4 plates but the couple essentially receiving one less plate because of fees for the store. If honeymoon registries removed that component, I could get on board with this, but likely I will never be okay with those types of registries and continue to cut a cheque with the note that they use for a special night out.

SP29

Not a bad article, in whole. Some funny lines and good descriptors of why doing something may be frowned upon.

Another etiquette no-no, the author tells guests to tip the bartender.

ILoveBeachMusic

SP29 said:

Not a bad article, in whole. Some funny lines and good descriptors of why doing something may be frowned upon.

Another etiquette no-no, the author tells guests to tip the bartender.

Actually it isn't against etiquette to tip the bartender. It is against etiquette for the bartenders to have a tip jar.

SP29

ILoveBeachMusic said:

SP29 said:

Not a bad article, in whole. Some funny lines and good descriptors of why doing something may be frowned upon.

Another etiquette no-no, the author tells guests to tip the bartender.

Actually it isn't against etiquette to tip the bartender. It is against etiquette for the bartenders to have a tip jar.

I thought it was previously discussed that by tipping the bartender, a guest is essentially assuming the hosts are not going to tip the bartender "well enough"? The etiquette "breech" is not to the bartender, but to the hosts.

Myself, I think it a victim-less crime. We went to a friends' wedding and the bartender was AWESOME. No tip jar out. DH tipped him at the end of the night. Even with my friends tipping, I was happy that he received more because he was very good at his job and had excellent customer service.

ILoveBeachMusic

SP29 said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

SP29 said:

Not a bad article, in whole. Some funny lines and good descriptors of why doing something may be frowned upon.

Another etiquette no-no, the author tells guests to tip the bartender.

Actually it isn't against etiquette to tip the bartender. It is against etiquette for the bartenders to have a tip jar.

I thought it was previously discussed that by tipping the bartender, a guest is essentially assuming the hosts are not going to tip the bartender "well enough"? The etiquette "breech" is not to the bartender, but to the hosts.

Myself, I think it a victim-less crime. We went to a friends' wedding and the bartender was AWESOME. No tip jar out. DH tipped him at the end of the night. Even with my friends tipping, I was happy that he received more because he was very good at his job and had excellent customer service.

I've also seen where people have commented that they tip the bartenders just because they think the bartenders are doing an outstanding job not because they think they aren't earning enough. 

ei34

Some of Buzzfeed's articles are off, but overall this one was fine.  And I completely ditto @ernursej regarding Honeyfunds...my biggest qualm with them is that 100% of your gift isn't given to the couple.
H or I always tip servers and bartenders at weddings, even at venues where we know the couple has paid 20% tip as part of the price (if it was a venue we looked at when we got engaged).  Tip jars are a no-no and the couple shouldn't require guests to open their wallets, but some guests still like to tip for a job well done.

thisismynickname2

I saw this too- does anyone have commenting ability to comment on that article and try to set people straight on honeyfunds?
I wanted to comment but I hate that buzzfeed uses the Facebook plug-in. 

Otherwise, I was impressed that it was a pretty good article. Some of the commenters are a bit...off... but that's par for the course on buzzfeed. 

drunkenwitch

I agreed with everything but the honeymoon registry.  Everything else was spot on. Well, no one is right 100% of the time. The rest was really great advice.

drunkenwitch

SP29 said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

SP29 said:

Not a bad article, in whole. Some funny lines and good descriptors of why doing something may be frowned upon.

Another etiquette no-no, the author tells guests to tip the bartender.

Actually it isn't against etiquette to tip the bartender. It is against etiquette for the bartenders to have a tip jar.

I thought it was previously discussed that by tipping the bartender, a guest is essentially assuming the hosts are not going to tip the bartender "well enough"? The etiquette "breech" is not to the bartender, but to the hosts.

Myself, I think it a victim-less crime. We went to a friends' wedding and the bartender was AWESOME. No tip jar out. DH tipped him at the end of the night. Even with my friends tipping, I was happy that he received more because he was very good at his job and had excellent customer service.

My mom was a career waitress, tipping is very important to me. I always tip 20% bare minimum.  I will tip extra for great service (the waitstaff goes back to the kitchen to double check if something is gluten free. Doesn't matter if the answer is yes or no, I tip 30% for that, especially if they tell me what is safe). One waitress in our neighborhood automatically gets 40% when BF and are her customers because we've been going to that restaurant for years and she treats us like regulars.  I don't even have to say I'm gluten free anymore, she always takes extra care with my food when she talks to the kitchen.

DrillSergeantCat

When a former friend got married several years back, he and his fiancee set up a honeyfund. I got on there and thought "Oh! How cool is this I can buy them a couples massage!" Then I found out that they only got a check and that they could use that for whatever they wanted honeymoon or not and was disappointed. 

Overall, I liked the article. But like you guys, I didn't like that one part.

eta - @ernursej that is a perfect analogy. Love it.

monkeysip

DrillSergeantCat said:

When a former friend got married several years back, he and his fiancee set up a honeyfund. I got on there and thought "Oh! How cool is this I can buy them a couples massage!" Then I found out that they only got a check and that they could use that for whatever they wanted honeymoon or not and was disappointed. 

Overall, I liked the article. But like you guys, I didn't like that one part.

eta - @ernursej that is a perfect analogy. Love it.

This is what bothers me about honey funds!  If I could actually purchase a massage or dinner or something for their honeymoon, I really wouldn't find the honey fund tacky.  But I hate that they just get a check for that amount--which they could use anyway they want. Why would I do that when I could just write them a check?  And not have to pay for fees?