DH vent

Heffalump

Y'all, I love my husband.  I do.  After 10 years, I've grown to understand and appreciate many of his quirks and foibles, as he has done with mine.  I think we've become better people over the course of our marriage thus far.  That said:

I cannot fucking stand how long it takes him to decide on travel plans.  It drives me batshit crazy.  He wants to go back to the Smokies in the fall, which is awesome!  So I research cabins and find one that looks gorgeous, in a great location.  I show him, he loves it.  Fall is peak season, and things are booking up, but when I say let's book then suddenly he's all "Let me think about it."

It's on my mind because of my recent post on airfare--we've been through this before, and I'm dreading the same thing happening now.  Fine if you want to ruminate about the nature of life or string theory and the existence of multiple universes, I don't care.  But travel plans are time sensitive, and then when we have to settle for a smaller cabin without a view, or a more expensive flight at a less convenient time, not only am I annoyed, but I also have to listen to him complain and that sends me right over the damn edge.

People have said before "Just book it anyway and tell him after the fact" and I actually have done it a few times, but it tends to make him crazy.  I think he delays because of low-grade travel anxiety (What if our plans change?  What if the price drops $100? etc.), so presenting him with a fait accomplis solves my lollygagging problem, but introduces a big DH-stress problem.

I'm going to try to appeal to his cheapness and his competitiveness, and point out that there are a finite number of tickets available on miles, and if someone snaps ours up, we'll be stuck paying cash.  That might inspire him.  Here's hoping.

Add your SO vents below, no judgment.  (I can't speak for everyone, just me.  And I may still judge, 'cause I'm like that.)

 

kimmiinthemitten

FI becomes obsessed with flights.  He will continue to search even after we've purchased tickets and gets so angry when he finds a cheaper flight.  

Every single time I yell at him to stop looking!  It's like the bruise he just can't stop poking.

bleve0821

@Heffalump, that's also one of my biggest and chief complaints about my DH. Sometimes, it's like he doesn't want to go at all but won't actually say so. He just hems and haws and drags his feet. We booked a cruise about 2 years ago. Took us 3 months to do it, and we finally booked it at double the original price after I bitched him out about how his procrastination had cost us a shit load of money.

This week, however, I'm feeling bitchy about DH because I feel like he's not pulling his weight with household chores. I cook and clean and do laundry and work full time... He can't even mow the lawn in a timely manner, and when he finally does, he thinks he's "done his job." And that he doesn't have to do anything else. Ever. His idea of cleaning the kitchen is putting dishes in the sink, and god forbid he throw his trash away or pick up the banana bits he dropped on the floor. IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM. 

I may be a little overdramatic with his lack of help with chores, but I'm so tired of empty candy wrappers and soda cans on the limited food prep space. And his "don't worry about it, I'll take care of it (next week)" attitude.

Rawr.

*Barbie*

 

@Heffalump I've gotten to the point on booking something the last couple of times for little weekend trips and telling him to take time off and what to pack. I was delaying on booking our PA trip because of his job situation, and finally was like, "look, it's only getting more expensive, just negotiate the PTO with them if they make you an offer." 



mine: I was on a rampage last Thursday when I went to see one of my doctors and the specialist co-pay had increased 4x what it had been THE DAY BEFORE. After spending a solid 30 minutes on the phone with Cigna, I find out that DK's company changed their plan effective May 1, and yes, this *is* the new co-pay, and I might be on the line for a lot more over the past month, since my neurologist's office had been billing me the old, cheaper, co-pay. So I call DK and he was all, "i think HR sent out something about benefits a while ago - i didn't look at it."

*cue murderous rampage*

So after the appointment, I call Cigna again, and establish that my neurologist has been charging stuff incorrectly for a while, so the EOB for the last 2 months are all screwed up. (I might owe them something, but not as much as I was thinking -I still don't know.)

Also, DK missed open enrollment because he thought it was just for new people to enroll. I was ready to kill him - we've been going to his company for healthcare for the last 4 years and he knows *NOTHING* about it. This headache could have been prevented if he just read his fucking e-mail and told me that there were plan changes. What if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow? He should have some sort of basic understanding of how this stuff works. 

lembaslover

@Heffalump oops I feel like I'm like your husband in regards to travel. I love planning a trip but have so much trouble hitting complete. I'm just scared I screwed something up or the price will go down or what if I'm really sick or break my leg that week and need to cancel last minute or it could be bad weather etc... I'm a worrier. I should probably get better at that...

My vent is that sometimes DH is an ass when he's playing his video games. He plays a lot which is fine with me, it's his stress release according to him but heaven forbid I ask him when he wants me to start dinner and he starts bitching about how he just started a game and he hasn't played with this friend in so long... so I say ok give me a 15 minute warning for when you want dinner. Then he's like I'll just quit you obviously want me to quit, I don't know why you can't wait for 1 more game. I'm just like seriously I'm fine with your game play 2 if you want I don't want you to quit I'm just trying to figure out when I should cook for you! 

Oh and if he's loosing he's just in a shitty mood and if I say anything it's the wrong thing. Like if video games is his stress release that's fine but he needs to learn to not let losses bother him because he's just a brat the rest of the day. If I mention any of this to him he gets all pissy at me and is like you said it was fine I got my new computer and if you had a problem with my games you should have told me before I got it... We've had this fight a couple of times now including a mini version last night b/c I swear he always starts a new game before GoT so I reminded him that it starts at 9 and I don't want to start it too late b/c I'll be exhausted and he got all mad saying he was just finishing up and I nag him about his games too much. I dropped it and went to make popcorn.

MissKittyDanger

@Heffalump  does the place you book with offer to drop rates if prices go down? If not, maybe find a place that does? It could help with some of your H's issues.



My vent about my H
When we first met, he cleaned bathrooms. Oddly enough, that was one thing I loved about it because it reminded me of how my family works. {sundays were cleaning days}
Now trying to get him to clean is like pulling teeth! I constantly bitch at him because I can't do everything - nor should I or want to. He always agrees that it shouldn't be up to me and he needs to step up. Does he? Hmmm .... not as much as I figured but he'll do itty bitty steps.

My concern is we just bought our first house - yay!!!!! - and he says certain things are obviously going to be his job, but I worry he'll procrastinate into "i'll do it later' like always. Things he'll be doing, are things I won't do. {like the backyard - I hate weed whacker}

I guess we'll see what happens. But urg!

Anyone else have a procrastinating H/BF/SO?

charlotte989875

So my H and I have been home, together, alone a lot since the move and we both have our house projects; he's doing a lot of the big repairs (building stuff, roof, driveway cracks) and I'm doing all the priming, scrapping, and painting. I've researched it all, done a ton of reading on exactly what to do. Well lately when I'm doing someone he'll come in and be like "oh well I would have done it this way" or "have you thought about X,Y, and Z because I think it should be like that". 

Yes, yes I have and I have very good, evidence based reasons for doing things this way. I don't tell you how to fix the driveway don't tell me how to tape drop cloths to the floor. If I don't know something, I'll ask but til then I have my projects you have yours. This drives me insane!

banana468

My DH vent:

When we throw a party, he walks around getting really upset that shit is piling up and isn't put away.

Who is the person that does shit like buy a new laptop to leave the box on the couch?   Or who buys a new CD and doesn't throw the bag away??

Yeah, don't be upset that I bought a big 'ol breadbox for the kitchen counter while I still need to teach you that the hamper is in your fucking closet. 

00kim00

kimmiinthemitten said:

FI becomes obsessed with flights.  He will continue to search even after we've purchased tickets and gets so angry when he finds a cheaper flight.  

Every single time I yell at him to stop looking!  It's like the bruise he just can't stop poking.

Fly Southwest! That way, the searching will pay off. If you find cheaper tickets after you purchase yours, you can exchange yours for the cheaper ones (without any change fees) and get the difference as credit to use next time.

madamerwin

My vent: H works graveyards (NOT by choice - he was forced into it and was never supposed to have to work nights). He hates it, but he refuses to do anything about it... He interviewed for a few day positions a couple of months ago, and one of the positions STILL is not filled, but he won't looks for jobs elsewhere until he hears back about the open position. His old boss, who is no longer with the company, told him he should go to the director and tell him he is done with graveyard, and either they need to find a day position for him or he will look elsewhere. He acknowledged that it was good advice, but didn't act on it.

He comes home super stressed, he knows that graves are not sustainable for him (or me, for that matter), and he bitches constantly, but he won't actually DO anything to change the situation. It drives me nuts.

Oh, and he also does virtually zero housework now that he works nights... He has 3-4 day weekends, and he DOES mow the lawn and do side projects, but somehow he does not have any time to do dishes or walk the dog or wash towels. Sigh.

princessleia22

I agree that Southwest is great about exchanging tickets if prices drop (plus free luggage check), but they also aren't always the cheapest. We are taking a trip this fall and Southwest prices were nearly twice that of other airlines.

But, this time I tried an app on my phone called "Hopper".  It tracks airline prices and uses historical data to determine if the price is likely to drop or not.  When I first got it, it said that ticket prices were expected to drop in the next month or two... so I waited.  Then it sent me a notice saying that prices for my flight had dropped and weren't expected to go any lower (and it really was a good price).  So, we bought our tickets.  The next week, prices jumped back up $100 more than we paid, so I'm glad that we bought when we did. It checks the same airlines that most travel sites use, so it does not include Southwest or the discount airlines, but I would imagine that their rates drop/raise at similar timing as other airlines.  Maybe your guys will be more apt to jump on buying if they have a price tracker app telling them that prices are good right then.

MesmrEwe

Oh that type of thing bugs the heck out of me Heffa!!!  Just go ahead and book then let him figure out the flight knowing the longer he takes the less likely to get great deals you'll be...

My latest - I'm getting ready to go on a work trip - which means, I need peace, quiet, and most of all, to be left the heck alone to get my head wrapped around all things work since there's A LOT to get organized (I'm going to be on-stage so there's costuming, make-up, heels <eek!>, etc. to factor in).  Between DH & the kids right now everyone's on edge and uptight about me being gone, and H especially is driving me bonkers with the hovering.  I've been trying to step back a bit to let him figure out his way through all things kids and I sit back and think "these kids are going to eat him alive" (he's never had both kids alone for more than an overnight - usually I find a way for one or both to spend the night with Grandma)...  As I told my brother, I need him to go on vacation for a week so I can get caught back up on things undisturbed.  The novelty of having him home all the time is quickly fading LOL

tigerlily6

Same thing happens with us, too, @Heffalump. Our original plans of going somewhere farther away for our honeymoon crashed and burned because FI kept putting off checking airline tickets until just a few weeks ago. Naturally, flights to Alaska (our dream locale) were crazy expensive only 5 weeks away. I ended up just taking over and booked us a cabin in the Smokies (ironically -- which cabins are you looking at?), which is within driving distance for us. Should still be nice, but yeah -- men and vacations, sheesh!

CMGragain

DH lets me make all the travel arrangements.  He fusses about everything, and couldn't do it himself.  I usually narrow it down to two or three choices, print it out, and then let him make the final choice.  Instead of "Shall we go?" it becomes, "Which one shall we do?".  As soon as he gives his opinion, I press the button on the computer and book it.  Once it is a done deal, he goes along with it.
We never would have traveled so much if I had left it completely up to him.  He would have put it off and forgotten about it.

Sample scenario: 
DH  Oooh!  Singapore!  I've always wanted to go there!

me  Here are three cruises that sail from there round trip.   We could spend a few days in Singapore after the cruise to Bali.

DH  Well, I don't know....

me  Which one of these do you think is the best itinerary?

DH  Well, this one is the best value.

me  It is, isn't it?  I think you are right.  (Book cruise and hotel without further discussion)

(Later) DH  What do you mean, we are going to Singapore in six months?

me  Well, you said this was the one that you wanted, didn't you?  How many pictures do you think you will take?  Do you have enough room on your camera memory device?

DH (Dstracted to talk about his camera and imagine the photos he will take.)

Of course, now he thinks it was HIS idea in the first place.

ernursej

FI is delays all kinds of things, except travel plans. The delays drive me bananas. I started to give him a deadline and write all requests of significant issue in writing. That way he has no leg to stand on when he doesn't deal with something in an appropriate time. He has started to get better so I'm wondering if my tactic works!?

6fsn

DH does the travel shit and he messed up our insurance shit this year.  Deductibles went from $300-$800 per person, but he didn't increase our FSA.  He also didn't tell me so the $320 bill I thought I was getting for M2's cardiologist was $527 and not enough funds to cover it in the fsa.

Right now I'm just annoyed with the way he likes to time things.  Oil change on the day we're moving.  Haircuts on the morning we have a full day planned.  This week he decided we need a new patio table for my mom's birthday party.  He ordered it for in-store pick up today.  A day HE has to work late.  A day I already have 4 other errands.  A day OUR STREET IS CLOSED.  So not only do I get to haul everyone in and out after swim lessons.  I also get to haul a trip to Costco in AND the patio furniture in.  Oh and it's not the Lowe's near us, it's the one across town.  I'm not sure when he thinks there will be time to put it together either. 

ShesSoCold

I am usually financially responsible and H is a spender.

So, right now I'm pissed at him because I want to go on vacation and he's all "well, we need to buy this and that, maybe next year".

Southwest flights are $36. Plus we have points to pay for the flights, the car and some of the hotels. We could go to Colorado for 8 days for under a grand.

And stupid fucking H wants to "save".

kvruns

*Barbie* said:

 

@Heffalump I've gotten to the point on booking something the last couple of times for little weekend trips and telling him to take time off and what to pack. I was delaying on booking our PA trip because of his job situation, and finally was like, "look, it's only getting more expensive, just negotiate the PTO with them if they make you an offer." 



mine: I was on a rampage last Thursday when I went to see one of my doctors and the specialist co-pay had increased 4x what it had been THE DAY BEFORE. After spending a solid 30 minutes on the phone with Cigna, I find out that DK's company changed their plan effective May 1, and yes, this *is* the new co-pay, and I might be on the line for a lot more over the past month, since my neurologist's office had been billing me the old, cheaper, co-pay. So I call DK and he was all, "i think HR sent out something about benefits a while ago - i didn't look at it."

*cue murderous rampage*

So after the appointment, I call Cigna again, and establish that my neurologist has been charging stuff incorrectly for a while, so the EOB for the last 2 months are all screwed up. (I might owe them something, but not as much as I was thinking -I still don't know.)

Also, DK missed open enrollment because he thought it was just for new people to enroll. I was ready to kill him - we've been going to his company for healthcare for the last 4 years and he knows *NOTHING* about it. This headache could have been prevented if he just read his fucking e-mail and told me that there were plan changes. What if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow? He should have some sort of basic understanding of how this stuff works. 

wow you got lucky that they still enrolled him vs saying Charlie you didn't enroll so now you're not going to be covered for the next year.

kvruns

marriedhamstermom said:

Oh and if he's loosing he's just in a shitty mood and if I say anything it's the wrong thing. Like if video games is his stress release that's fine but he needs to learn to not let losses bother him because he's just a brat the rest of the day. If I mention any of this to him he gets all pissy at me and is like you said it was fine I got my new computer and if you had a problem with my games you should have told me before I got it... We've had this fight a couple of times now including a mini version last night b/c I swear he always starts a new game before GoT so I reminded him that it starts at 9 and I don't want to start it too late b/c I'll be exhausted and he got all mad saying he was just finishing up and I nag him about his games too much. I dropped it and went to make popcorn.

omg H is that way too. He started playing some game on his phone and he loses a lot and is like "Mother f&cker, g*dd@mmit, bleepity bleep bleep bleep" because someone beat him and he'll even like hit the couch/chair and get all pissy. Of course everyone who beats him is a cheater because they buy special stuff or something he never just loses. I'm like dude shut the f up and if you're going to keep getting this pissy then you need to delete the game. He's gotten slightly better and just mutters instead of throws a huge fit as long as he hasn't been drinking but its like dude games should be fun.

spockforprez

kvruns said:

*Barbie* said:

 

@Heffalump I've gotten to the point on booking something the last couple of times for little weekend trips and telling him to take time off and what to pack. I was delaying on booking our PA trip because of his job situation, and finally was like, "look, it's only getting more expensive, just negotiate the PTO with them if they make you an offer." 



mine: I was on a rampage last Thursday when I went to see one of my doctors and the specialist co-pay had increased 4x what it had been THE DAY BEFORE. After spending a solid 30 minutes on the phone with Cigna, I find out that DK's company changed their plan effective May 1, and yes, this *is* the new co-pay, and I might be on the line for a lot more over the past month, since my neurologist's office had been billing me the old, cheaper, co-pay. So I call DK and he was all, "i think HR sent out something about benefits a while ago - i didn't look at it."

*cue murderous rampage*

So after the appointment, I call Cigna again, and establish that my neurologist has been charging stuff incorrectly for a while, so the EOB for the last 2 months are all screwed up. (I might owe them something, but not as much as I was thinking -I still don't know.)

Also, DK missed open enrollment because he thought it was just for new people to enroll. I was ready to kill him - we've been going to his company for healthcare for the last 4 years and he knows *NOTHING* about it. This headache could have been prevented if he just read his fucking e-mail and told me that there were plan changes. What if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow? He should have some sort of basic understanding of how this stuff works. 

wow you got lucky that they still enrolled him vs saying Charlie you didn't enroll so now you're not going to be covered for the next year.

I think usually they just save whatever options you chose the previous year, right? 

My vent - H doesn't like to buy certain things because he feels like he can make them for cheaper. But he never fucking does. I've been wanting a big ass cat tree for 3+ years and that whole time, every time I bring it up, he goes, "No, don't buy that! I can make it for less than half that price!" Honey, I am sure you CAN. But WILL you?

Let's just put it like this - there's a joke that says, "If a man says he will do something, he will. No need to remind him every six months." H finds that FUCKING HILARIOUS. *violent eyeroll*

Sometimes I feel frustrated with how we are supposed to/not supposed to treat men in general... like, you are not ever supposed to nag at a man because of his masculinity and he craves respect and blah blah. And in my experience, they ALL get mad when nagged. But when they don't fucking do what they are supposed to do and it fucks you over, what choice do you have??? Excuse me, but last I checked, there were two adults in this relationship. Why should I have to tiptoe around your sensitive emotions while important things don't get done? So you nag... and then you are a nagging bitch. So frustrating! H isn't too bad about this kind of thing - he seems to understand that he fucked up by letting it go too long (or whatever it is) - but my brother is awful about it and I feel terrible for his partners.

kvruns

spockforprez said:

kvruns said:

*Barbie* said:

 

@Heffalump I've gotten to the point on booking something the last couple of times for little weekend trips and telling him to take time off and what to pack. I was delaying on booking our PA trip because of his job situation, and finally was like, "look, it's only getting more expensive, just negotiate the PTO with them if they make you an offer." 



mine: I was on a rampage last Thursday when I went to see one of my doctors and the specialist co-pay had increased 4x what it had been THE DAY BEFORE. After spending a solid 30 minutes on the phone with Cigna, I find out that DK's company changed their plan effective May 1, and yes, this *is* the new co-pay, and I might be on the line for a lot more over the past month, since my neurologist's office had been billing me the old, cheaper, co-pay. So I call DK and he was all, "i think HR sent out something about benefits a while ago - i didn't look at it."

*cue murderous rampage*

So after the appointment, I call Cigna again, and establish that my neurologist has been charging stuff incorrectly for a while, so the EOB for the last 2 months are all screwed up. (I might owe them something, but not as much as I was thinking -I still don't know.)

Also, DK missed open enrollment because he thought it was just for new people to enroll. I was ready to kill him - we've been going to his company for healthcare for the last 4 years and he knows *NOTHING* about it. This headache could have been prevented if he just read his fucking e-mail and told me that there were plan changes. What if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow? He should have some sort of basic understanding of how this stuff works. 

wow you got lucky that they still enrolled him vs saying Charlie you didn't enroll so now you're not going to be covered for the next year.

I think usually they just save whatever options you chose the previous year, right? 

there are 2 different kinds, active and passive. In passive enrollment you would just get enrolled in whatever you were enrolled in the previous year if you don't actively make any changes. Active enrollment makes people be adults and actually make a choice, either to change things or to select the same and if they don't care enough to take the time to enroll then they miss out.

cupcait927

spockforprez said:

kvruns said:

*Barbie* said:

 

@Heffalump I've gotten to the point on booking something the last couple of times for little weekend trips and telling him to take time off and what to pack. I was delaying on booking our PA trip because of his job situation, and finally was like, "look, it's only getting more expensive, just negotiate the PTO with them if they make you an offer." 



mine: I was on a rampage last Thursday when I went to see one of my doctors and the specialist co-pay had increased 4x what it had been THE DAY BEFORE. After spending a solid 30 minutes on the phone with Cigna, I find out that DK's company changed their plan effective May 1, and yes, this *is* the new co-pay, and I might be on the line for a lot more over the past month, since my neurologist's office had been billing me the old, cheaper, co-pay. So I call DK and he was all, "i think HR sent out something about benefits a while ago - i didn't look at it."

*cue murderous rampage*

So after the appointment, I call Cigna again, and establish that my neurologist has been charging stuff incorrectly for a while, so the EOB for the last 2 months are all screwed up. (I might owe them something, but not as much as I was thinking -I still don't know.)

Also, DK missed open enrollment because he thought it was just for new people to enroll. I was ready to kill him - we've been going to his company for healthcare for the last 4 years and he knows *NOTHING* about it. This headache could have been prevented if he just read his fucking e-mail and told me that there were plan changes. What if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow? He should have some sort of basic understanding of how this stuff works. 

wow you got lucky that they still enrolled him vs saying Charlie you didn't enroll so now you're not going to be covered for the next year.

I think usually they just save whatever options you chose the previous year, right? 

Bolded isn't always the case. I work in group health insurance and I've seen a lot of employers that make their employees actively re-enroll each year, rather than doing a passive enrollment. It helps for a variety of reasons - capturing waivers, making sure employees know what's available because they HAVE to enroll, etc.

*Barbie*

his company did a passive enrollment so we didn't lose coverage. i honestly have no idea if they have ever done an open enrollment since he's worked there. they do cover the cost 100% (no premium) so i don't think the employees do much beyond giving them a list of who needs to be enrolled. (at least in the past)

mine has an active enrollment, so when i had him on my plan, i needed to sign in every year to re-enroll us. 

thisismynickname2

Generally speaking in regards to OP's example, I cannot stand non-decision makers. In fact, that's one reason DH and I do well together. We're both people to collect the needed information, evaluate quickly, and decide. 

Now then, I personally have to take care to provide him all the things I've already evaluated prior to telling him, otherwise he'll think I decided something too hastily. So my "what do you think?" questions are already prefaced with a laundry list of research. 

My DH vent:
He slurps his food. Slurps while sucking on lifesavers. It's gross and annoying.

tigerlily6

Oh, another man vent. TV preferences. We usually like to sit down and watch something together at the end of the day after dinner. But FI is awful about just picking up the remote and changing it to whatever he's in the mood for. Sometimes I'm on the same page as him, but sometimes not. He says I just need to say what I want off the bat. But I say it's not super hard to ask "Hey babe, how about X?" Sometimes I don't know specifically what I want to watch, because it's the end of the day and I just want to veg, but I do know what I don't want to watch. Le sigh. 

ILoveBeachMusic

tigerlily6 said:

Oh, another man vent. TV preferences. We usually like to sit down and watch something together at the end of the day after dinner. But FI is awful about just picking up the remote and changing it to whatever he's in the mood for. Sometimes I'm on the same page as him, but sometimes not. He says I just need to say what I want off the bat. But I say it's not super hard to ask "Hey babe, how about X?" Sometimes I don't know specifically what I want to watch, because it's the end of the day and I just want to veg, but I do know what I don't want to watch. Le sigh. 

Oh I hate it when he just changes the channel during a show - usually to check a sports score.

OurWildKingdom

ShesSoCold said:

I am usually financially responsible and H is a spender.

So, right now I'm pissed at him because I want to go on vacation and he's all "well, we need to buy this and that, maybe next year".

Southwest flights are $36. Plus we have points to pay for the flights, the car and some of the hotels. We could go to Colorado for 8 days for under a grand.

And stupid fucking H wants to "save".

Wait, what???

justsie

I am struggling with FI making plans for the honeymoon too. We have been on a few trips and one year I finally broke down when we were in the car heading to the location because FI just doesn't get excited. He acts like he is miserable up until we get there and settle in, then he FINALLY shows happy emotions, and always had a great time. When I broke down he finally told me it was because growing up his mother would always sit them down to discuss the next vacation, they would plan everything and then just not go. I am pretty sure it was always because of lack of funds to go, even now they will make big plans that cost money and then not only not live up to them but end up being in the hole despite not following through with the plan. I don't know how they manage it. So FI learned to not get excited about vacations, they always ended in a let down.


I'd like to think that the fact that we have been on a few trips together and I usually come through in the end would help..... but I guess it will take more time.

But damnit help me plan our honeymoon! I don't want to pick out a cruise alone -_-

SaintPaulGal

One of my biggest frustrations with my partner also involves travel.  Somehow when we are in other cities he is SO BAD at getting around to eating dinner.  I get it--there is tons of new stuff to see and we generally eat late-ish anyway.  But by the time he is ready to eat, it is 10 or 11 at night and most decent restaurants are closed.  I'm not one of those people who has to eat or I get hangry, but it is so frustrating to wind up stuck with greasy pizza or fast food because those are the only options at that time.  I can't count the number of times I have called bar/restaurants that are still open to ask "do you do food at this hour?"

*Barbie*

SaintPaulGal said:

One of my biggest frustrations with my partner also involves travel.  Somehow when we are in other cities he is SO BAD at getting around to eating dinner.  I get it--there is tons of new stuff to see and we generally eat late-ish anyway.  But by the time he is ready to eat, it is 10 or 11 at night and most decent restaurants are closed.  I'm not one of those people who has to eat or I get hangry, but it is so frustrating to wind up stuck with greasy pizza or fast food because those are the only options at that time.  I can't count the number of times I have called bar/restaurants that are still open to ask "do you do food at this hour?"

@SaintPaulGal - a suggestion for you to mitigate that is to make reservations for a couple of nights on your trip - that will guarantee that you get a few decent meals. We're guilty of doing this on trips (spending too much time trying to figure out meals once we're there) so I usually try to book a few things in advance. For me, part of travel is exploring the local food scene, so I want to make time to sit and enjoy the food/drinks that I can't get at home.  (I've been watching too much "Parts Unknown" - "food scene" is bordering on hipster. :-P) It's ok to spend time people watching with food and drinks in a sidewalk cafe - it's part of the experience. 

thisismynickname2

I have a DH vent this morning. 

People say the first year is the hardest. It wasn't. We're in our second year, and it's harder than the first. In the grand scheme of things I'm probably overreacting but I'm feeling annoyed and offended right now.

I guess we're just in a long-overdue adjustment period. This is the first time we've lived in our place (not my place or his place) and weirdo behaviors have been coming out these past two months that never manifested before. He's called me out on things, but then I'll call him out right back and he can't give examples. (Like, I forget and leave the closet door open and it bothers him, but he doesn't remember to close a closet door 100% of the time either, so WTF?) It's hypocritical and driving me insane. It's just a bunch of little things that are adding up.  UGH. I hate fighting.