Wedding Woes

Wednesday

How is everyone doing at the halfway point of this week?

I am having a day.  My head is spinning.  My mom called me at work yesterday to tell me that she went for her annual mammogram and exam, and the tech noted that she was lopsided.  Told her to mention it to her doctor afterward.  My mom didn't think much of it, but the doctor was very concerned that it's a "diffuse" tumor, not the kind that's a clear lump on a mammogram, but kind of spread out all loosey-goosey.  She's scheduled for a biopsy Friday morning, and she asked me to go with her to the surgeon, so of course I am.  She's freaked out.  I'm freaked out.  My brother is freaked out.  And because it's not a discrete lump, it's not the kind of thing where they say "Oh, it's probably just a cyst, we'll do a biopsy to confirm"--her doctor said that in her experience, this diffuse tumor is "the most likely finding." 

So that news arrived around 4:00 yesterday.  I am trying to stay off of Google until she gets the biopsy results, otherwise you can go down so many rabbit holes that are probably best left alone for now.  The not-knowing stage sucks, because it feels like every possibility is open, from "Whoops, my bad, you're fine" to how to explain cancer to Wooz.  And DH, bless his heart, is trying, but denial is his thing.  He meant well, but he was all "When was her last mammogram?  See, nothing that bad could have happened in a year." (Uh, it can if it's aggressive.  And really, whenever there is something wrong, there is always a first time they find it.)  "It's probably not cancer, you don't have a family history of breast cancer."  (We don't.  Neither do a lot of women who are diagnosed.)  And in one breath he's all "Whatever you need me to do so you can do what you need to do, just let me know, I'll take care of it."  and in the next, I'm trying to hustle Wooz out the door for swim pictures and he's acting like he's the first person to ever put a swimsuit on a toddler.  ("I can't do this, how do you get it over his head?") 

And regular life goes on, and there was drama at swim pics.  Wooz managed to drop her form in the pool, because Wooz.  I had to go get a new one and find a pen, and while I did that, she got out of line to twirl around and chat with her friends.  So she went from like 5th in line to roughly 30th, which made my head want to explode.  Then she finally got her turn, smiled, the photographer asked to see some teeth, she kept smiling with her mouth closed, the photographer made some kind of lame joke, Wooz scowled, the parents looking on laughed, and Wooz burst into tears.  Excellent.  Which also held up my plan to get out of there, because I couldn't exactly leave her like that.

So I get her settled down and lined up for the group pic, hit the road, and DH calls following DS's parent-teacher conference.  And apparently they think DS is extraordinarily intelligent.  Which isn't a humblebrag or anything, I do think my kids are smart, but a year ago his teacher was saying he needed all kinds of therapy which it turned out he didn't.  Different teacher, but my point is, I'm taking the genius-level thing with a grain of salt.  I would be happy with regular-smart.  But the curriculum coordinator was talking about special programs and testing him into the gifted charter school for kindergarten, summer physics camps with Clemson, etc.  So right or wrong, they think he's super smart.  And I feel like a halfway-terrible mother, because I'm like "I'll deal with that next week."

The curriculum coordinator did suggest going to Goodwill and getting old analog alarm clocks and stuff for him to take apart, so I think I'll make that my lunchtime errand today.  Is it too soon to start drinking?

Re: Wednesday

  • @Heffalump, I am thinking good thoughts for you and your mom and sending all the healthiest vibes your way.

    A massive storm rolled through last night and knocked the power out at my hotel. I had been asleep for maybe a half hour, so the dead silence woke me up (not the storm, although I was aware of it on some level). And, of course, the very first thing that went through my head when I realized what had happened was, "OMFG THE SHINING." So, naturally, I had to check the closet for creepy little ghost girls and the bathtub for bloated corpses. There were none of either, thankfully, but I really freaked myself out and I thought I might die of fright even as I was doing these things.  Seriously, I haven't been so scared of the dark since I read 'Salem's Lot in high school and convinced myself vampires actually do exist. So no sleep for me last night. Even after the power came back. And I turned all.the.lights.on.

    The lightning show was phenomenal, and I even saw a green glow rise up through the trees after one bolt that may have been St. Elmo's fire.  Now I can knock both that and a stay at a creepy, haunted hotel off my bucket list.

    I'm exhausted.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    charlotte989875VarunaTTHeffalump
  • @Heffalump mimosas are morning drinks for a reason. Avoid the Internet and your DS isn't going to be any less genius if you don't look in to programs or classes until next week. Also, the advice about getting him to take apart old clocks and stuff seems really cool. 

    It's raining and cold here today. I'm painting trim and the baseboards in the kitchen, which will then finally be done and I can move on to other rooms. H is in a mood this morning because after the dog fiasco last night I didn't take his suit to the cleaner (which he said he was going to do all week last week). Sorry but injured dog > suit. 

    kimmiinthemittenShesSoColdHeffalumpscrunchythief
  • Oh @Heffalump that's so rough.  What type of biopsy is she having?  I've had the MRI Guided Biopsy in the past.  I bought one of those palm sized ice packs meant for kids (I believe mine is a starfish), froze it the night before and stuck it in my bra at the point where the needle entered for comfort (in addition to taking 4 ibuprofen before).  It's not painful, just annoying.  I hope all goes well next week!

    @VarunaTT, I'm glad you finally got some rest and that your meeting went so well.  I'm confident Sunday will go amazingly and the celebration will mean just that much more after last weekends tragedy.

    I'm working from home which means I'm not wearing pants or a bra.  This is the life.
    image
    Heffalump
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2016
    heffa, blenders are good to take apart too :)
    I just bought elec. bits to do over the summer w/ the kiddo--but haven't actually *done* the projects with them yet--but once I do, I might have some easy write-ups with cheap (easily purchased off amazon) pieces that ya'll can build off.  But I'm hoping that's next week's weekend project.

    Today, I'm 'stay in close proximity to a bathroom' sort of sick...which is fun because we're giving all Buffy's baby stuff to BIL and his wife, which is fun and exciting, but we still use her change table as her dresser.  We have a new dresser, but we've got to do the giant move of stuff, and empty the fish tank so we can move it onto the new dresser.

    it's going to be super exciting.  The kiddo has already been a dramaqueen/brat this morning.  But she did let me sleep in.

    Also, she had OT 2x so far, and she finds it a blast, which is good.
    And I"m feeling vindicated, because professionals are noting that she can't walk and talk at the same time (she really can't) and this is NOT just me.

    (I'm skipping the biopsy thing because I"m an avoided...but, we're pulling for you.  and...bad news is still treatable.  Panic ias hard to avoid, but flailing sounds like a good start...if you then sit on the floor and drink whisky)
    mrsconn23Heffalumpscrunchythief
  • ((@Heffalump))  Waiting and not knowing sucks. 
    Heffalump
  • :::Hugs::: @Heffalump, praying for a good outcome for your Mom and peace and patience for all involved.  

    I had weird/scary neighbor encounter this morning, but I'll do a separate post.
    image
  • GBCK said:
    heffa, blenders are good to take apart too :)
    I just bought elec. bits to do over the summer w/ the kiddo--but haven't actually *done* the projects with them yet--but once I do, I might have some easy write-ups with cheap (easily purchased off amazon) pieces that ya'll can build off.  But I'm hoping that's next week's weekend project.
    That ^^^ sounds awesome.  Wooz has a Chibi Lights starter set that she has been ignoring, so maybe we'll give it to DS in a year or two.  My dad bought her a robot kit for her birthday, so we'll see how that goes.  (Also, I hope you feel better soon.)

    And thanks for the kind words, everyone.
  • Oh @Heffalump that's so rough.  What type of biopsy is she having?  I've had the MRI Guided Biopsy in the past.  I bought one of those palm sized ice packs meant for kids (I believe mine is a starfish), froze it the night before and stuck it in my bra at the point where the needle entered for comfort (in addition to taking 4 ibuprofen before).  It's not painful, just annoying.  I hope all goes well next week!

    That is a great question--not sure what kind (I didn't even know there were different kinds!), but I love your suggestion.
  • Heffalump said:
    Oh @Heffalump that's so rough.  What type of biopsy is she having?  I've had the MRI Guided Biopsy in the past.  I bought one of those palm sized ice packs meant for kids (I believe mine is a starfish), froze it the night before and stuck it in my bra at the point where the needle entered for comfort (in addition to taking 4 ibuprofen before).  It's not painful, just annoying.  I hope all goes well next week!

    That is a great question--not sure what kind (I didn't even know there were different kinds!), but I love your suggestion.
    There are a few different types (surgical, core, wire guided and some variations among those).  Your moms prescription for the biopsy will likely say which type she is having.

    I'm a control freak and I can't handle not knowing things, so when I was BRCA testing and starting my annual mammograms/MRI's I googled everything because the more I knew going in, the better I felt.  I know that's not true for everyone.  When my first MRI came up with a spot, I googled the wire guided needle aspiration and learned that tip and it did help me the day of.  Unfortunately, nothing helps the wait after.
    image
    Heffalump
  • I'm sorry, Heffa. ::hugs::

    Heffalump
  • Well, the Goodwill closest to work was a bust--mostly old clothes and books, some furniture.  I don't think I'm ready for him to take a stab at a George Foreman grill yet.  Maybe when he's 3. ;)

    Meanwhile, my mom texted to say she wants me to go to the bank with her Friday so she can add me to her accounts, and I kind of want to throw up.  I don't like the Adult Child kind of adulting.  I like the parenting kind better, because it's more like babysitting:  keep them safe, play lots of Candy Land.
    mrsconn23
  • bleve0821bleve0821 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2016
    (((((((Hugs)))))) @Heffalump


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • Hugs @Heffalump .    This sort of scenario would have me scared too.   

    The latest out of Orlando scares me.   First we have the worst mass shooting and now we have a fucking 2 year old eaten by an alligator??  As a parent of a toddler it's really hard to fight the urge to keep my kids in a bubble. 
  • banana468 said:
    Hugs @Heffalump .    This sort of scenario would have me scared too.   

    The latest out of Orlando scares me.   First we have the worst mass shooting and now we have a fucking 2 year old eaten by an alligator??  As a parent of a toddler it's really hard to fight the urge to keep my kids in a bubble. 
    My brother and I had a long text exchange about the Disney gator earlier.  I said the same thing:  when we went, I was worried about sunburn and dehydration and losing track of her in line, not being dragged away by an alligator.  He stayed at the Grand Floridian on his honeymoon, so he's familiar with that specific area down by Seven Seas Lagoon.   

    I kind of hate people.  People on the Orlando Sentinel article were commenting "Who lets their child stand that close to the water?" and "Why was he up so late?"  Like if the alligator had gotten him in broad daylight, it would have changed things somehow. 
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Hugs Heffa.  I'm thankful my brothers are rocks that will be able to handle the medical and financial stuff for my sister and I. 
  • Heffalump said:
    banana468 said:
    Hugs @Heffalump .    This sort of scenario would have me scared too.   

    The latest out of Orlando scares me.   First we have the worst mass shooting and now we have a fucking 2 year old eaten by an alligator??  As a parent of a toddler it's really hard to fight the urge to keep my kids in a bubble. 
    My brother and I had a long text exchange about the Disney gator earlier.  I said the same thing:  when we went, I was worried about sunburn and dehydration and losing track of her in line, not being dragged away by an alligator.  He stayed at the Grand Floridian on his honeymoon, so he's familiar with that specific area down by Seven Seas Lagoon.   

    I kind of hate people.  People on the Orlando Sentinel article were commenting "Who lets their child stand that close to the water?" and "Why was he up so late?"  Like if the alligator had gotten him in broad daylight, it would have changed things somehow. 
    Yeah, everyone knows how to parent children that don't belong to them.  

    Kids on vacation stay up late.   That's part of the vacation treat!
  • Hope all goes well with your Mom @Heffalump. Your son isn't going to lose IQ points by waiting a week (or two) to investigate school options.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    MIL is mad at me.  Last night she told DH she was coming to 6let's baseball game Saturday.  DH told her we weren't going to that game because it's my mom's 70th bday party. Now she's mad she won't get to see him play this season.  Yep, all my fault.  I hate sports.
  • banana468 said:
    Heffalump said:
    banana468 said:
    Hugs @Heffalump .    This sort of scenario would have me scared too.   

    The latest out of Orlando scares me.   First we have the worst mass shooting and now we have a fucking 2 year old eaten by an alligator??  As a parent of a toddler it's really hard to fight the urge to keep my kids in a bubble. 
    My brother and I had a long text exchange about the Disney gator earlier.  I said the same thing:  when we went, I was worried about sunburn and dehydration and losing track of her in line, not being dragged away by an alligator.  He stayed at the Grand Floridian on his honeymoon, so he's familiar with that specific area down by Seven Seas Lagoon.   

    I kind of hate people.  People on the Orlando Sentinel article were commenting "Who lets their child stand that close to the water?" and "Why was he up so late?"  Like if the alligator had gotten him in broad daylight, it would have changed things somehow. 
    Yeah, everyone knows how to parent children that don't belong to them.  

    Kids on vacation stay up late.   That's part of the vacation treat!
    Right?  It was 9:00, not midnight, and when I checked to see which time zone Nebraska is, it turns out it's part mountain, part central.  So depending on where they were from, it was only 7:00 or 8:00 back home.  Not unreasonable for a 2 y.o.

    I cannot imagine.  That poor family.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards