I was unsure where to put this so I apologize if I chose the wrong one.
I'm having a very small wedding. There will be 13 guests, no wedding party, so 15 people in all if you count us. My future mother in-law is very excited to do a shower. She thinks we need one badly since we will be moving into our first place together after the wedding. But she seems to think that 13 people ( 8 if you think showers should just be ladies) is an unacceptable number of folks to invite.
I'm of the opinion that you don't invite folks to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding and if she thinks that 8 people is too small we should just skip it all together.
MIL thinks that she should invite all the older ladies from my church ( they typically have a group of older ladies that get together and help new couples set up house, by getting a few things/coming over and helping put stuff in place/sharing recipes etc) to a shower but not the wedding. She says a shower just lets these ladies do what they were going to do anyway in one space instead of surprising me by showing up at my new house when we're trying to move in.
I'm fine with the ladies doing their version of passing on marriage advice/supplies (this is what they refer to it as), but feel super awkward about pretty much asking them for stuff. Maybe they weren't planning on coming over and helping or sharing recipes, just because they have done it doesn't make it mandatory. I feel like inviting them to a shower makes it mandatory, and more about stuff than support (which is what I think they are trying to offer). Am I right to feel weird about this?