Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Prayers of the people - thoughts?

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Re: Prayers of the people - thoughts?

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    (And, just to be clear, I'm not against religion at all.  In fact, I'm finishing up a PhD in Religious Studies.)  



    ScottishSarahOurWildKingdom
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    You're correct, @Viczaesar. While our officiant is a United Church of Christ minister, our service is largely secular. However, at FW's request, we're including two Scripture readings, and she wanted to include a prayer as well.

    Also, my family and some of our friends are very religious. But now that I think about it, the guest participation, even if optional, would not be comfortable for some of our guests.

    FW likes the Jewish Seven Wedding Blessings best, but I can see how the Gaelic and Irish blessings might be more universal.
    I would go with what FW likes if it doesn't matter as much to you. They all are lovely.
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Thanks everyone for your input! We're going to use the Seven Wedding Blessings.  :)
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • Viczaesar said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Viczaesar said:
    I'm not religious and I would not be comfortable being asked to participate in this.
    Not being snarky, but what do you mean by participate. I took the prayer to mean you would just sit there during the moment of silence. What do you do during weddings that have religious elements to them?

    @OurWildKingdom I agree that some of the lines (already mentioned) aren't appropriate for a wedding and that @MobKaz had a good idea.
    I took it that when it says "Please Respond: Creator, Hear Our Prayer" everyone was supposed to say that, and say it during each "(Moment of silence and response)".
    Ahhhh, missed that line. You, of course, could just sit there silently as I'm sure many people do when attending a wedding in a religious venue that doesn't coincide with their belief.

    ETA:words
    Yes, I physically could, but I would feel uncomfortable being asked to participate, as I said.  Not participating when people around me are makes me feel conspicuous.  Sometimes outing yourself as a non-Christian is a dangerous and uncomfortable proposition.  I have no problem attending wedding ceremonies of various religions.  I do have a problem with being asked to participate in a religious aspect of said ceremony.
    So when you go to a Catholic wedding and everyone goes up to take communion what do you do? I'm not religious, but at religious weddings you're almost always asked to "participate" in a prayer or "respond". I just sit there silently and don't participate in things I don't beleive in because I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone who clearly takes it very seriously 
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Viczaesar said:
    Viczaesar said:
    Viczaesar said:
    I'm not religious and I would not be comfortable being asked to participate in this.
    Not being snarky, but what do you mean by participate. I took the prayer to mean you would just sit there during the moment of silence. What do you do during weddings that have religious elements to them?

    @OurWildKingdom I agree that some of the lines (already mentioned) aren't appropriate for a wedding and that @MobKaz had a good idea.
    I took it that when it says "Please Respond: Creator, Hear Our Prayer" everyone was supposed to say that, and say it during each "(Moment of silence and response)".
    Ahhhh, missed that line. You, of course, could just sit there silently as I'm sure many people do when attending a wedding in a religious venue that doesn't coincide with their belief.

    ETA:words
    Yes, I physically could, but I would feel uncomfortable being asked to participate, as I said.  Not participating when people around me are makes me feel conspicuous.  Sometimes outing yourself as a non-Christian is a dangerous and uncomfortable proposition.  I have no problem attending wedding ceremonies of various religions.  I do have a problem with being asked to participate in a religious aspect of said ceremony.
    So when you go to a Catholic wedding and everyone goes up to take communion what do you do? I'm not religious, but at religious weddings you're almost always asked to "participate" in a prayer or "respond". I just sit there silently and don't participate in things I don't beleive in because I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone who clearly takes it very seriously 
    Actually, at the religious weddings I attend we are not asked to participate in a vocal and obvious way.  As I already said, if it's an established part of a religious ceremony that's fine with me; not participating in that situation indicates simply that I'm not a member of that particular sect.  



  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @KahluaKoalasaid, "So when you go to a Catholic wedding and everyone goes up to take communion what do you do? I'm not religious, but at religious weddings you're almost always asked to "participate" in a prayer or "respond". I just sit there silently and don't participate in things I don't beleive in because I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone who clearly takes it very seriously ."

    I just want to clarify one issue, especially since Communion is frequently brought up as an issue.  I am Catholic.  I can tell you that on any given Sunday, the entire congregation does not collectively participate in Holy Communion.  Many attendees, whether Catholic or not, have their reasons as to why they do not take communion during any given mass.  I have never once given one thought as to why someone does or does not participate in any portion of any ceremony, particularly a wedding ceremony.  It's none of my business nor does it impact me in any way.
    charlotte989875
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MobKaz said:
    @KahluaKoalasaid, "So when you go to a Catholic wedding and everyone goes up to take communion what do you do? I'm not religious, but at religious weddings you're almost always asked to "participate" in a prayer or "respond". I just sit there silently and don't participate in things I don't beleive in because I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone who clearly takes it very seriously ."

    I just want to clarify one issue, especially since Communion is frequently brought up as an issue.  I am Catholic.  I can tell you that on any given Sunday, the entire congregation does not collectively participate in Holy Communion.  Many attendees, whether Catholic or not, have their reasons as to why they do not take communion during any given mass.  I have never once given one thought as to why someone does or does not participate in any portion of any ceremony, particularly a wedding ceremony.  It's none of my business nor does it impact me in any way.
    So true! At any given church service (I'm not Catholic) there may be people who don't participate for various reasons. Somebody might not sing or give responses because they have a sore throat or cold (I know I've been that person), or not kneel because they have a bum knee etc. I've never given it a second thought. NBD.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MobKaz said:
    @KahluaKoalasaid, "So when you go to a Catholic wedding and everyone goes up to take communion what do you do? I'm not religious, but at religious weddings you're almost always asked to "participate" in a prayer or "respond". I just sit there silently and don't participate in things I don't beleive in because I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone who clearly takes it very seriously ."

    I just want to clarify one issue, especially since Communion is frequently brought up as an issue.  I am Catholic.  I can tell you that on any given Sunday, the entire congregation does not collectively participate in Holy Communion.  Many attendees, whether Catholic or not, have their reasons as to why they do not take communion during any given mass.  I have never once given one thought as to why someone does or does not participate in any portion of any ceremony, particularly a wedding ceremony.  It's none of my business nor does it impact me in any way.
    So true! At any given church service (I'm not Catholic) there may be people who don't participate for various reasons. Somebody might not sing or give responses because they have a sore throat or cold (I know I've been that person), or not kneel because they have a bum knee etc. I've never given it a second thought. NBD.
    The more I think about this issue, the more I see it as a non-issue.  The congregation is encouraged to join hands during the recitation of The Lord's Prayer.  It is VERY obvious when someone near to me does not care to take my hand.  They typically hold their arm close to their side and elevate their palm.  Message received.  No offense taken.  When I have had a bad cold, I have "waived" off persons nearby during The Kiss of Peace or The Lord's Prayer myself.  Even during The Kiss of Peace, there are a multitude of ways parishoners demonstrate their greeting to each other, from hugs to literally flashing the peace sign. 
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    While not all of the religious weddings I've attended have been like this but like @atomicblonde and @Viczaesar I too have felt uncomfortable. I used to be very religious, and as such feel very strongly that the best way to respect any organized religion is to politely decline or refrain from participating, be it communion, a refrain, the holy cross, or even a prayer. After a funeral I was once approached and reprimanded for being rude because the deceased felt strongly about his faith and would have wanted me to participate.

    Not so ironically, the first thing that made me question my faith was moving away from my home church in college and trying to find a new spiritual home and realizing most churches weren't like the one I was raised in. 

    I still ill feel very strongly about not participating, and if I was at a wedding that asked for it, I'd just not participate, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I'm always wondering if that event will trigger another confrontation or obvious side eye. 

    Truly religous people understand this. Unfortunately lots of churches (in my experience) are filled with Big Sunday Talkers who aren't Weekday Walkers.  
    image
    OurWildKingdomcharlotte989875
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I realize OP has her question answered, but here were ours:


    For the leaders of our faith - Pope Benedict , our bishops, priests, and all clergy.  May they continue to seek guidance and strength as they shepherd their flocks.

    For our government and civic leaders - may the Holy Spirit guide them in their service and lead them to respect all human life.

    For all married couples - may they continue to love each other as God loves us.

    For men and women discerning their vocation - may God grant them patience, courage, and strength to seek His will.

    For everyone gathered here today - may we be strengthened by God's grace in the Eucharist and in Scripture.

    For Guac and husband - may they joyfully live their vocation as husband and wife, constantly seeking God's guidance and grace as they start their family.

    For those who are ill or recovering from a surgical procedure, especially ____, aunt of guac.  May they be comforted with our love and prayers during their healing.
    OurWildKingdom
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