I need a Mom of teenage girls to help me

ScottishSarah

Hello ladies, as the title, I need advice from someone that has teenage girls.

We have a few kids coming to our wedding, and it is important to FI and I to make them feel welcome.  To this end we want to give each kid a goody bag of activities and toys.  As well as the younger kids we have older girls (two are 11 but very grown up!) and one is 14 years old.

The problem is we don't want to patronize the older girls by giving them crayons lol!  So far I thought of a nice notebook and pen and maybe a Chanel lipstick or similar?  

Does anyone know what their girls would like?

TIA 

ernursej

I personally loved puzzle books, but I so badly wanted to be treated like an adult at 14 that I might find the idea of a bag (regardless of what it contained) to push me into the little kid crowd.

ScottishSarah

This is what worries me!  

ScottishSarah

But at the same time I don't want to leave out the 14 year olds KWIM?

OurWildKingdom

ernursej said:

I personally loved puzzle books, but I so badly wanted to be treated like an adult at 14 that I might find the idea of a bag (regardless of what it contained) to push me into the little kid crowd.

Ditto. That said, things like lip balm, lotion, etc. might be welcome.

ernursej

ScottishSarah said:

But at the same time I don't want to leave out the 14 year olds KWIM?

Completely. I'm not sure. I don't have kids and can only speak from my own experience. Perhaps call up the parent and ask?

ILoveBeachMusic

Do the older girls know one another? Lip balm might be good but as one PP said they might feel like you are lumping them with the little kids.

SP29

I agree that I think they would feel lumped in with the little kids. At this age, they are likely into dancing, or they'll hang out together (if they know each other) and chat.

If you are doing favours, I would give them the same favours as the adults (unless it's alcohol ).

debbeau

I asked my 14 year old daughter what she thought. She said lip balm and lotion would be nice. Chocolate would be a real bonus. She loves when I give her a small package of truffles.

ScottishSarah

Thanks.  The girls don't know each other but would be seated nearby.
There are no adult favours.  @debbeau thanks for asking your daughter, :-) good to know she would like cosmetics.  I didn't think about chocolate actually, good idea.  Maybe I could get proper kids packs for the smaller ones and just a classy gift bag for the girls?

crowsgirl15

Are you doing welcome bags for OOT guests? Could you give them their own version of those, but maybe with an added few lip balms/glosses or something?

ScottishSarah

No, no welcome bags.  

Not sure if the 14 year old would be 'left out' or offended tbh?  When I was that age I would have been drinking the Champagne, not hanging out with the kids.

TrixieJess

Lush has a chocolate lip balm that's good and any sort of bath bomb. This way, it's a nice sort of gift bag and you aren't spending a fortune.

OurWildKingdom

TrixieJess said:

Lush has a chocolate lip balm that's good and any sort of bath bomb. This way, it's a nice sort of gift bag and you aren't spending a fortune.

Lush is amazing!

floridabride44

Throw in some glow sticks!  We gave glow stick necklaces to the kids at our wedding and by the end of the night most of the adults had managed to snag some as well. People of all ages love glow sticks. 

Heffalump

TBH, I would probably skip it.  They're closer to "adult" than "child" and if you're not doing adult favors, then I don't really think they need them.  I understand that you don't want them to feel left out, but I don't think that it will be an issue if the adults don't have anything special, either.

DrillSergeantCat

I have a teenage son and can say he'd be irritated at getting a goodie bag with the kids even if it didn't have the same stuff in it. I'd say 12 would be the cut off for that. 

ScottishSarah

Thank you all, I'm just going to go with bags for the 11 year old girls and the younger boys. xxx

Username100108

No matter the age, glow sticks are always fun! Could put one or two of the bracelet ones in their bags: )

SaintPaulGal

ScottishSarah said:

Thank you all, I'm just going to go with bags for the 11 year old girls and the younger boys. xxx

I don't want to add stress, but do you think there might be a way you could make this kid stuff available without making it a specific goody bag assigned to each (young) child?  I have a considerably younger sister, so when I was a teen she was elementary school aged.  I will admit, it stung a little when family friends would do something special for her but ignore me.  I wasn't adult enough to be included in the grown-up sphere but I wasn't young enough to get toys or candies or whatever.  Teen years are sort of a wasteland between those two poles anyway, so don't feel bad if you aren't able to switch things around.  But maybe if you just had baskets of kid stuff or something then those who wanted to participate could and those who didn't wouldn't feel like they were being patronized. 

ScottishSarah

SaintPaulGal said:

ScottishSarah said:

Thank you all, I'm just going to go with bags for the 11 year old girls and the younger boys. xxx

I don't want to add stress, but do you think there might be a way you could make this kid stuff available without making it a specific goody bag assigned to each (young) child?  I have a considerably younger sister, so when I was a teen she was elementary school aged.  I will admit, it stung a little when family friends would do something special for her but ignore me.  I wasn't adult enough to be included in the grown-up sphere but I wasn't young enough to get toys or candies or whatever.  Teen years are sort of a wasteland between those two poles anyway, so don't feel bad if you aren't able to switch things around.  But maybe if you just had baskets of kid stuff or something then those who wanted to participate could and those who didn't wouldn't feel like they were being patronized. 

The teenage girl is not related to the 11 year olds, and will not be seated nearby, do you think it makes a different if they are not siblings?

ScottishSarah

Okay, so I've purchased the stuff.  

I've bought personalized kids boxes for the 4-7 year old boys which have activity, crayons and small toys like cards and slinkies.  

For the 11 year old girls I've purchased pretty gift bags which at the moment contain a pretty sparkly pen, a pretty note book, and lip balms in absolutely gorgeous packaging.   I think I might add something else to this.

I'm also going to add chocolate for the girls and sweets for the boys.

For the 14 year old (whose parents have not actually RSVPed yet) I think I will get her a small gift like maybe a piece of jewelry so she doesn't feel left out.

Any thoughts on this?

Many thanks xxx

ILoveBeachMusic

ScottishSarah said:

Okay, so I've purchased the stuff.  

I've bought personalized kids boxes for the 4-7 year old boys which have activity, crayons and small toys like cards and slinkies.  

For the 11 year old girls I've purchased pretty gift bags which at the moment contain a pretty sparkly pen, a pretty note book, and lip balms in absolutely gorgeous packaging.   I think I might add something else to this.

I'm also going to add chocolate for the girls and sweets for the boys.

For the 14 year old (whose parents have not actually RSVPed yet) I think I will get her a small gift like maybe a piece of jewelry so she doesn't feel left out.

Any thoughts on this?

Many thanks xxx

I think buying the 14 year a piece of jewelry is a little over the top unless you are super close to her. I know you've already bought the 11 year girls stuff, but honestly I wouldn't have.

DrillSergeantCat

Those things for the 11 year olds aren't too childish. I'd get the exact same thing for the 14 year old.

ScottishSarah

ILoveBeachMusic said:
I think buying the 14 year a piece of jewelry is a little over the top unless you are super close to her. I know you've already bought the 11 year girls stuff, but honestly I wouldn't have.

She is FI's half sister that's why I think she should have something a bit special.

However the family have not RSVPed yet so I'm holding back for another week.

ILoveBeachMusic

ScottishSarah said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:
I think buying the 14 year a piece of jewelry is a little over the top unless you are super close to her. I know you've already bought the 11 year girls stuff, but honestly I wouldn't have.

She is FI's half sister that's why I think she should have something a bit special.

However the family have not RSVPed yet so I'm holding back for another week.

Ahhh, that's a bit different. Now I understand why you want her to have something special. I think that is very sweet of you.

ScottishSarah

Perfect thanks ladies xx

lc07

I'm glad you've decided not to give a goodie bag to the 14 year old.  At 14, I wouldn't feel left out while the little kids got a bag. I'd have WANTED to be treated like the adults. Receiving a bag would have been like going to a restaurant and being given the kid's menu off the bat by the hostess. It was embarrassing that people still thought of me as a little kid when that happened. If you decide to give her a gift I'd do it in the same manner that you are giving parents and wedding party gifts. Not as a "we're doing something for all of the young kids" thing.