Dear Prudence,
My husband and I are looking into adopting a child. We’ve been discussing some of the details—gender, age, foster care, and race came up during this conversation. I know that the two of us, my parents, and his family would welcome any child with open arms, but over the years I’ve had to correct my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins when they use racist terms or make racist statements. They live close by, and we see them frequently, so they would be involved in our child’s life to some extent. I can see how growing to love a nonwhite child could act as an agent of change for them, but I don’t think that’s a fair situation to knowingly put a child into. My husband thinks we shouldn’t worry about it and assumes they’ll stop the comments if we bring a child over. What do you think?
—Racist Family vs. Transracial Adoption