Sigh - 2017 wedding etiquette blunders

ernursej

So just received a STD for a wedding next June. Lovely couple but all sorts of etiquette being broken and doing things not advisable. I'm already being asked for a RSVP (although they give you a space for "not sure yet" ... smells like B listing to me), they have chosen their wedding party (names and pics are on the website) and on the info portion of the website they are saying "no boxed gifts". Sigh.

kmmssg

I thought you were busy that day next year...

monkeysip

I think I'd purposefully check "not sure yet" even if I were sure.

The wedding party thing isn't necessarily wise, but I wouldn't say it's an etiquette blunder.

No boxed gifts?  UGH.  Maybe write back "What forms of payment do you accept?"

ernursej

monkeysip said:

I think I'd purposefully check "not sure yet" even if I were sure.

The wedding party thing isn't necessarily wise, but I wouldn't say it's an etiquette blunder.

No boxed gifts?  UGH.  Maybe write back "What forms of payment do you accept?"

Wedding party being listed isn't an etiquette blunder. I should have made it more clear in my post that I just didn't think it was advisable.

WinstonsGirl

ernursej said:

So just received a STD for a wedding next June. Lovely couple but all sorts of etiquette being broken and doing things not advisable. I'm already being asked for a RSVP (although they give you a space for "not sure yet" ... smells like B listing to me), they have chosen their wedding party (names and pics are on the website) and on the info portion of the website they are saying "no boxed gifts". Sigh.

No biggie.  It's easier and faster to wrap something with a gift bag anyway.  

kahluakoala

Wow you really think the worst of your friends, huh? Sounds like you don't think they're lovely, sounds like you think they're just trying to get some cash outta you

charlotte989875

KahluaKoala said:

Wow you really think the worst of your friends, huh? Sounds like you don't think they're lovely, sounds like you think they're just trying to get some cash outta you

Well given that it says "no boxed gifts" it sounds like that's exactly what they are trying to do. 

OurWildKingdom

ernursej said:

So just received a STD for a wedding next June. Lovely couple but all sorts of etiquette being broken and doing things not advisable. I'm already being asked for a RSVP (although they give you a space for "not sure yet" ... smells like B listing to me), they have chosen their wedding party (names and pics are on the website) and on the info portion of the website they are saying "no boxed gifts". Sigh.

Sounds like cluelessness rather than deliberate breaches of etiquette . . . Direct them here. 

ernursej

KahluaKoala said:

Wow you really think the worst of your friends, huh? Sounds like you don't think they're lovely, sounds like you think they're just trying to get some cash outta you

No boxed gifts means cash ... exactly what else am I supposed to think?

I love this couple and am very happy that they have found each other. I can be irritated with etiquette blunders but will see past them 

OurWildKingdom said:

ernursej said:

So just received a STD for a wedding next June. Lovely couple but all sorts of etiquette being broken and doing things not advisable. I'm already being asked for a RSVP (although they give you a space for "not sure yet" ... smells like B listing to me), they have chosen their wedding party (names and pics are on the website) and on the info portion of the website they are saying "no boxed gifts". Sigh.

Sounds like cluelessness rather than deliberate breaches of etiquette . . . Direct them here. 

I mentioned the site the other night when we were out for dinner and the bride indicated that she had looked but didn't like the responses towards some of the questions that others had posted.

ei34

No boxed gifts

I just threw up in my mouth!  Good luck!

DrillSergeantCat

I spent a year on the bump before meandering over here and this whole "no boxed gifts" and "no wrapped gifts" is a big thing over there, too. The answer is consistently that it's rude to tell people 1)what to gift you with and 2)how to present the gift. So many "I have anxiety and don't want people looking at me when I open gifts" posts over there and the answer is always, "Then don't have a shower." 

Same for your friends. Don't have a shower. 

thisismynickname2

ernursej said:

KahluaKoala said:

Wow you really think the worst of your friends, huh? Sounds like you don't think they're lovely, sounds like you think they're just trying to get some cash outta you

No boxed gifts means cash ... exactly what else am I supposed to think?

I love this couple and am very happy that they have found each other. I can be irritated with etiquette blunders but will see past them 

OurWildKingdom said:

ernursej said:

So just received a STD for a wedding next June. Lovely couple but all sorts of etiquette being broken and doing things not advisable. I'm already being asked for a RSVP (although they give you a space for "not sure yet" ... smells like B listing to me), they have chosen their wedding party (names and pics are on the website) and on the info portion of the website they are saying "no boxed gifts". Sigh.

Sounds like cluelessness rather than deliberate breaches of etiquette . . . Direct them here. 

I mentioned the site the other night when we were out for dinner and the bride indicated that she had looked but didn't like the responses towards some of the questions that others had posted.

"Oh really? But it's so honest and that's the beauty of it. I'd rather know I was doing something wrong from strangers than piss off my family and friends. What kind of questions did you have- maybe I can help?"

p.s. @OurWildKingdom I love the Jeremy sig pic! 

ernursej

thisismynickname said:

ernursej said:

KahluaKoala said:

Wow you really think the worst of your friends, huh? Sounds like you don't think they're lovely, sounds like you think they're just trying to get some cash outta you

No boxed gifts means cash ... exactly what else am I supposed to think?

I love this couple and am very happy that they have found each other. I can be irritated with etiquette blunders but will see past them 

OurWildKingdom said:

ernursej said:

So just received a STD for a wedding next June. Lovely couple but all sorts of etiquette being broken and doing things not advisable. I'm already being asked for a RSVP (although they give you a space for "not sure yet" ... smells like B listing to me), they have chosen their wedding party (names and pics are on the website) and on the info portion of the website they are saying "no boxed gifts". Sigh.

Sounds like cluelessness rather than deliberate breaches of etiquette . . . Direct them here. 

I mentioned the site the other night when we were out for dinner and the bride indicated that she had looked but didn't like the responses towards some of the questions that others had posted.

"Oh really? But it's so honest and that's the beauty of it. I'd rather know I was doing something wrong from strangers than piss off my family and friends. What kind of questions did you have- maybe I can help?"

p.s. @OurWildKingdom I love the Jeremy sig pic! 

I told her something similar and she said that she didn't have any particular questions when she was browsing, just didn't like the vibe she got. I think that there are just some people that will never be online forum people ... she is one of those people.