Jobs for Children

k&n62517

Hey everyone! 

There are 2 special kids in my life that I want to include in the wedding. It's my nephew and my best friend's neice. There are a couple of issues I'm facing though. By the time of the wedding, both kid's will be 7, so they are a little too old for flower girl and ring bearer duties, which I don't want to have anyway. Plus, my nephew is too shy to walk down the aisle. 

So basically, I need some job ideas for two 7 year old kids that doesn't involve walking down the aisle. 

Thanks everyone!

[Deleted User]

I don't have any ideas for other roles for children, but if it were just an age issue, I don't think 7 is too old to be a ring bearer or flower girl. 

k&n62517

Yeah, but I don't want children going down the aisle and my nephew is too nervous to do it. 

glasgowtolondon

If you don't want them going down the aisle could they stand up and do a reading at your ceremony? 7 isn't too young for a simple poem or passage.

k&n62517

@glasgowtolondon that's a good idea that I've thought of before, but again, my nephew is pretty shy and while I'm close with my best friend's niece, I don't particularly want her to do a reading. Thanks though!

charlotte989875

Knottie1458506154 said:

Hey everyone! 

There are 2 special kids in my life that I want to include in the wedding. It's my nephew and my best friend's neice. There are a couple of issues I'm facing though. By the time of the wedding, both kid's will be 7, so they are a little too old for flower girl and ring bearer duties, which I don't want to have anyway. Plus, my nephew is too shy to walk down the aisle. 

So basically, I need some job ideas for two 7 year old kids that doesn't involve walking down the aisle. 

Thanks everyone!

Knottie1458506154 said:

@glasgowtolondon that's a good idea that I've thought of before, but again, my nephew is pretty shy and while I'm close with my best friend's niece, I don't particularly want her to do a reading. Thanks though!

If he's that shy, and you don't want a flower girl or ring bearer, and you don't want her to do a reading, and you don't want children walking down the aisle, what exactly are you looking for them to do? Besides being members of the wedding party or participating in the ceremony by reading there aren't any other ways for people to participate. 

You could give them a boutonnière and corsage, take pictures with them, and make sure that you dance with them (not a spotlight dance, but just make a point to dance at some point) or give them a small gift. 

OliveOilsMom

Knottie1458506154 said:

Hey everyone! 

There are 2 special kids in my life that I want to include in the wedding. It's my nephew and my best friend's neice. There are a couple of issues I'm facing though. By the time of the wedding, both kid's will be 7, so they are a little too old for flower girl and ring bearer duties, which I don't want to have anyway. Plus, my nephew is too shy to walk down the aisle. 

So basically, I need some job ideas for two 7 year old kids that doesn't involve walking down the aisle. 

Thanks everyone!

7 is actually a really good age for FG and RB.  But if your nephew is too shy to do that, then I would just invite them and allow them to attend the wedding as guests.  They don't need a job.  And most of the time the jobs that are given are crap jobs that don't actually need a human to be done.  

Guest book?  Just leave it out, people know what to do with a guest book.
Programs? Place them in a basket, people who want a program will take one.
Bubbles or other grand exit item?  Basket - again.

glasgowtolondon

Knottie1458506154 said:

@glasgowtolondon that's a good idea that I've thought of before, but again, my nephew is pretty shy and while I'm close with my best friend's niece, I don't particularly want her to do a reading. Thanks though!

In that case, give them a corsage/buttonhole respectively and have a dance with them at your reception. No need to force it if they are too shy to walk down an aisle or do a reading.

k&n62517

I've been talking to my fiance and I think we decided they could be delivery girl/boy to send our gifts to one another. Thanks for suggestions everyone. 

k&n62517

@charlotte989875 well, what I want is for them to feel special because they are special to us. I just didn't want them to feel uncomfortable either. That's the reason I'm asking this question, to see if anyone has done anything a little creative or unique with kids at their wedding. No need for you to act like that. If you think my question is silly, why respond? Thank you for your suggestion. 

MobKaz

Knottie1458506154 said:

I've been talking to my fiance and I think we decided they could be delivery girl/boy to send our gifts to one another. Thanks for suggestions everyone. 

Depending on the logistics of this situation, at their age, this task will probably require the assistance of an adult.  It might not be easy for the parents of these kids to all be up and dressed and able to carry out this task.  Honestly, at the age of 7, I don't think they can necessarily comprehend the "significance" of this task, either.  I understand your mindset, but I think it will be over their heads. 

glasgowtolondon

Knottie1458506154 said:

I've been talking to my fiance and I think we decided they could be delivery girl/boy to send our gifts to one another. Thanks for suggestions everyone. 

I guess I'm missing how delivering a gift to someone else is going to make them feel special? 

k&n62517

@glasgowtolondon It's an important errand. Any notes and gifts we have to be delivered would make them feel special. My nephew feels like he's on top of the world when I ask him to bring me a water bottle, so I think he'll feel pretty special taking an important gift to his uncle. 

@MobKaz I'm a teacher. Of 2nd graders, which is 7 year olds. Have you ever met children? They aren't stupid, they are definetely capable of understanding why that is an important task and they most certainly don't need help taking a present across the building. 

The parents of the kids will be there anyway, because it's my brother and the mother of the girl is my hairdresser. 

I am not sure why everyone is so bothered at the idea that I want my nephew and, basically, my niece, to have something to do at the wedding. They mean the world to me. 

I appreciate the concern of everyone but I just asked for suggestions, I didn't ask for anyone's opinion of my decision. I only decided to put up the idea we had in case someone else is out there looking for ideas for kids in their weddings to do. 

No more responses are necessary. Enjoy your 4th of July, everyone!

glasgowtolondon

Knottie1458506154 said:

@glasgowtolondon It's an important errand. Any notes and gifts we have to be delivered would make them feel special. My nephew feels like he's on top of the world when I ask him to bring me a water bottle, so I think he'll feel pretty special taking an important gift to his uncle. 

@MobKaz I'm a teacher. Of 2nd graders, which is 7 year olds. Have you ever met children? They aren't stupid, they are definetely capable of understanding why that is an important task and they most certainly don't need help taking a present across the building. 

The parents of the kids will be there anyway, because it's my brother and the mother of the girl is my hairdresser. 

I am not sure why everyone is so bothered at the idea that I want my nephew and, basically, my niece, to have something to do at the wedding. They mean the world to me. 

I appreciate the concern of everyone but I just asked for suggestions, I didn't ask for anyone's opinion of my decision. I only decided to put up the idea we had in case someone else is out there looking for ideas for kids in their weddings to do. 

No more responses are necessary. Enjoy your 4th of July, everyone!

Yeah, no need to get your knickers in a twist knottie #'s. You can say you want them in your wedding all you want, but you don't really seem to. You don't want them in the ceremony. Thats your wedding! If they are not in the ceremony....they are not in the wedding. By all means though, send them on your 'important errand'. We're just saying that if you truly want them in your wedding and you truly want to make then feel special then don't give them a bullshit job. 

Also, this whole I only want your opinion if it's exactly what I want to hear, and if it isn't then just stop commenting is reeeeaally tired. And my 4th of July is just another working Monday (my team was on the wrong side of that particular little spat  )

AddieCake

Knottie1458506154 said:

@glasgowtolondon It's an important errand. Any notes and gifts we have to be delivered would make them feel special. My nephew feels like he's on top of the world when I ask him to bring me a water bottle, so I think he'll feel pretty special taking an important gift to his uncle. 

@MobKaz I'm a teacher. Of 2nd graders, which is 7 year olds. Have you ever met children? They aren't stupid, they are definetely capable of understanding why that is an important task and they most certainly don't need help taking a present across the building. 

The parents of the kids will be there anyway, because it's my brother and the mother of the girl is my hairdresser. 

I am not sure why everyone is so bothered at the idea that I want my nephew and, basically, my niece, to have something to do at the wedding. They mean the world to me. 

I appreciate the concern of everyone but I just asked for suggestions, I didn't ask for anyone's opinion of my decision. I only decided to put up the idea we had in case someone else is out there looking for ideas for kids in their weddings to do. 

No more responses are necessary. Enjoy your 4th of July, everyone!

To the bolded: Really? That's an unnecessary thing to say to someone. And yeah, MobKaz has met children, being as she has her own, FFS. And some young children would need help taking something across a building. I'd think being a teacher, you'd know that. I teach high school seniors, and even some of them need help taking something across a building. 

Nobody is necessarily bothered by it; most of us are just of the mindset that if you have to think up jobs for people to do in your wedding, you probably don't need them.

When you post on a public forum, you're going to get opinions. Don't want them, don't post. 

People are free to respond if they like. 

k&n62517

I certainly didn't mean no one may comment on here anymore, I was saying I don't need any more suggestions.

I want them to be apart of my day, but I'm trying to keep the comfort level of these kids in mind. I know for sure that my nephew doesn't enjoy the spotlight. And I need someone to deliver the gifts, so it isn't a bullshit job, it's a job that actually needed to be filled, and I think the kids would be great for it. Again, I don't understand why you don't get that they just aren't a good fit for the ceremony by their own choice. I would never stop them from being the ring bearer and flower girl if they really wanted to do that. 

Once again, thanks for the suggestions I did receive. I do like the idea of also having a dance with them. 

[Deleted User]

Holy defensive. People understood you said that they aren't a good fit for the ceremony, but honestly, there's not many other "jobs" for kids in weddings, and that makes it kinda difficult to answer your question. Especially when you keep shooting any idea down. 

Everyone gave you suggestions and input based on the best information they had. And how are we supposed to know they won't need help? We don't know those kids or how responsible they are. Also, if they are delivering the presents to a hotel room next door, that's one thing, but it's a completely different situation if it's to a house across town. In which case, yes, they would need adult help. 

Either way, I'm happy you figured out something you think will work for them. 

charlotte989875

Knottie1458506154 said:

I certainly didn't mean no one may comment on here anymore, I was saying I don't need any more suggestions.

I want them to be apart of my day, but I'm trying to keep the comfort level of these kids in mind. I know for sure that my nephew doesn't enjoy the spotlight. And I need someone to deliver the gifts, so it isn't a bullshit job, it's a job that actually needed to be filled, and I think the kids would be great for it. Again, I don't understand why you don't get that they just aren't a good fit for the ceremony by their own choice. I would never stop them from being the ring bearer and flower girl if they really wanted to do that. 

Once again, thanks for the suggestions I did receive. I do like the idea of also having a dance with them. 

Knottie1458506154 said:

@charlotte989875 well, what I want is for them to feel special because they are special to us. I just didn't want them to feel uncomfortable either. That's the reason I'm asking this question, to see if anyone has done anything a little creative or unique with kids at their wedding. No need for you to act like that. If you think my question is silly, why respond? Thank you for your suggestion. 

I'm pretty sure I gave you suggestions as ways to make them feel special that day without having them be in the spotlight or uncomfortable. You shot down every idea people gave you, so yah I'm still scratching my head as to why you posted if you don't want them in roles traditional done by children AND you reject every idea people post. 

I don't actually think your question is silly, but I'm a little confused about your responses. 

Jen4948

If you really want them to feel special at you wedding, you can dress them up and take special photos with them. They can walk with you down the aisle.

But giving kids "jobs" at weddings, like passing things out, doesn't make them feel "special." That's why we're suggesting you not go that route.

k&n62517

I posted becasue I wanted to hear some unique ideas that other people have done. I know what roles are out there, but the whole point of this public forum is to hear from others. I only took the tone I did, because I felt as though others were taking that tone with me to begin with and then proceeded to belittle the idea that I did come up with. Why wouldn't I take offense to that? 

I wasn't intending to shoot down ideas, merely letting you know those weren't the direction I was going in. I feel I am entitled to say that those ideas were things I'd already considered, didn't really line up with my what I was looking for, or otherwise. 

I'm not interested in having tiffs with strangers on the internet and I certainly don't want anyone to be unhappy. I apoligize if I came off as defensive. I really am sorry. I understand your annoyances and I understand why any of you would take offense to my tone. I also hope you all can understand mine. Wedding planning is stressful. 

ILoveBeachMusic

@knottie# you said you didn't want a flower girl not that the girl didn't want to be a flower girl. That's fine if you don't want a FG and your nephew would be uncomfortable being a RB. However, 7 isn't too old to be either. Actually for boys it is probably the perfect age. Obviously, you have decided what you want the children to do. There just aren't any other "roles" that children can play in a ceremony. I agree, I wouldn't have a shy 7 year old do a reading either. Personally, I'd go with flowers and pictures.

MobKaz

Knottie1458506154 said:

@glasgowtolondon It's an important errand. Any notes and gifts we have to be delivered would make them feel special. My nephew feels like he's on top of the world when I ask him to bring me a water bottle, so I think he'll feel pretty special taking an important gift to his uncle. 

@MobKaz I'm a teacher. Of 2nd graders, which is 7 year olds. Have you ever met children? They aren't stupid, they are definetely capable of understanding why that is an important task and they most certainly don't need help taking a present across the building. 

The parents of the kids will be there anyway, because it's my brother and the mother of the girl is my hairdresser. 

I am not sure why everyone is so bothered at the idea that I want my nephew and, basically, my niece, to have something to do at the wedding. They mean the world to me. 

I appreciate the concern of everyone but I just asked for suggestions, I didn't ask for anyone's opinion of my decision. I only decided to put up the idea we had in case someone else is out there looking for ideas for kids in their weddings to do. 

No more responses are necessary. Enjoy your 4th of July, everyone!

Actually, Knottie1458506154, I am a mom, grandma, and have taught special education for 36 years.  In all humility, there isn't much I don't know about children. 

Whom I haven't met is you.  I can only base my response on the information you have offered.  YOU painted your nephew as a "shy", and "nervous" child for whom you indicate reluctance even walking down a one way aisle in a room surrounded by supervising family. 

My response was completely courteous and respectful.  I stated I understood YOUR mindset in wanting children you deem special to be a part of your day.  My comment merely suggested that they, at the age of 7, would not hold the day with the same "weight" as you.  I also made it clear that DEPENDING ON THE LOGISTICS of this "delivery errand", this might be a poor choice for a shy and nervous child.  As others have pointed out, we have no idea of knowing whether his errand would involve running between adjoining hotel rooms, or crossing multiple streets in a local neighborhood.

Wedding planning should NOT be this stressful.  If it is, perhaps you need to sit back and see what exactly it is that is creating so much stress for you.  And, before you say it..........Yes, I have planned weddings, and showers, and multiple other large parties.

Jen4948

Knottie1458506154 said:

I posted becasue I wanted to hear some unique ideas that other people have done. I know what roles are out there, but the whole point of this public forum is to hear from others. I only took the tone I did, because I felt as though others were taking that tone with me to begin with and then proceeded to belittle the idea that I did come up with. Why wouldn't I take offense to that? 

I wasn't intending to shoot down ideas, merely letting you know those weren't the direction I was going in. I feel I am entitled to say that those ideas were things I'd already considered, didn't really line up with my what I was looking for, or otherwise. 

I'm not interested in having tiffs with strangers on the internet and I certainly don't want anyone to be unhappy. I apoligize if I came off as defensive. I really am sorry. I understand your annoyances and I understand why any of you would take offense to my tone. I also hope you all can understand mine. Wedding planning is stressful. 

When it comes to roles for kids in weddings,

1) Do the kids really want to do it? You're assuming that they do because of your closeness to them, but kids don't always like dressing up and going up and down aisles or reading or singing or even being in the spotlight in public - no matter how much the bride or groom loves them. If they don't really want to do those things, they're not going to enjoy your wedding. What's more important - that they do what you want them to do, or that they enjoy being there and have fun?

2) There are no "unique" ways to include kids in weddings. The only "roles" for kids are flower girl, ring bearer, bridesmaid/man, groomsmaid/man, and reader. Passing things out is not a "role" and should not be asked of anyone to "honor" them - not even a kid.

Sorrynotsorry if this isn't what you want to hear.

flantastic

"Unique" usually means "stupid." Kids are not stupid, and know when they are merely running errands, which is not a particularly special job. Tell them they are special to you, and dance with them at the wedding - that's how you let them know they are special to you.

geebee908

A wedding doesn't make every little task that needs doing an "honor" just because you're the bride and you asked so very nicely. Give them your attention and love and they'll feel special and included.

DrillSergeantCat

Someone explain this gift delivery thing to me? Is there not just a table that people put gifts on if they bring one? Then, they're not opened at the reception, right? So where are they being delivered to?

[Deleted User]

She (likely) means between the bride and groom. Sometimes they will each get each other something along with a sentimental note and open it before the wedding while getting ready. 

flantastic

DrillSergeantCat said:

Someone explain this gift delivery thing to me? Is there not just a table that people put gifts on if they bring one? Then, they're not opened at the reception, right? So where are they being delivered to?

It's like when the bride and groom are getting dressed separately and sending "hey honey, this is our wedding day" notes to each other.

charlotte989875

flantastic said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

Someone explain this gift delivery thing to me? Is there not just a table that people put gifts on if they bring one? Then, they're not opened at the reception, right? So where are they being delivered to?

It's like when the bride and groom are getting dressed separately and sending "hey honey, this is our wedding day" notes to each other.

My H left me a note in the hotel room. No need to involve anyone else. 

Cheermom84

I have two kids, one is 9 the other is 3. No kid wants to be a delivery boy/girl. They will be perfectly excited to be a guest.

I know, I'm from a big family and the worst jobs given to us growing up at weddings was either delivery boy/girl or in charge of the present table. Guess how long we actually did those jobs before we started hiding from bride/groom and our parents. 

Another example, my oldest daughter was 7 when my best friend got married. I was her MOH my daughter who my best friend considers a niece was a guest. She was however invited to get ready with us and get her hair done. My daughter actually asked while getting her hair done if she would have to do a boring job or if she can just be a guest. My friend told her she was a guest and to have fun so my 7 year old had fun getting her hair done fancy and was so excited to be a guest. Last minute we could get her wedding gown to bustle and my daughter got asked to walk behind and hold the wedding dress. She kept telling people I was so excited to be just a guest but then I got to be in the wedding!! 

Please don't make up dumb job titles to make kids feel "special" their parents will thank you for it.

MesmrEwe

At 7yo, they're actually the PERFECT age for RB and FG!  They're young enough to be super cute, but old enough to take direction and handle the responsibilities there-of.  Now if they were going to be 12, that's a different discussion, but 7, absolute "perfect" age..  No kid that age wants to be hauling your gifts - really and handing out your programs is sort of a meh type thing because of the age.  I suspect it's a bit of projection that you don't want them in the actual WP or think that a kid in school isn't capable of walking in a line behind others.  Seven years old is not three to five, they won't get "stage fright".