Attire & Accessories Forum

Bride vs. Groom opinion on suits

When I was looking for my bridesmaid dresses, the very first thing I asked everyone was what their budget was and what they were comfortable spending. I made sure to be really careful to not exceed the lowest amount for all of the dresses and was actually able to find something even more budget friendly than that! That being said, I spent a ton of time shopping to find the best deal that I knew everyone would be comfortable in with all of the different body types. At the end of the search, all of my girls are thrilled with the price and the dress. I've been told separately by all of them that it's the best BM dress they've ever had which is awesome! So now, we're 3 months out from the wedding and it's time for the GM and dad's and ushers to get their suits. We decided to have all of the guys purchase their own suit that FI picked out instead of renting tuxes. He told me the cost of a rented tux is around $150 and he was going to try and keep the price of the suit to around $200. We have looked at all of the different stores he wanted to go to and the minimum price is $285. That doesn't count the shirt...or the tie....or anything besides the pants and jacket. He's going to tell all of them just to wear whatever black dress shoes they already have and I've convinced him that the tie and pocket squares he wants can be part of a GM gift for all of them. So we're looking at $300+ for these suits. I told him that seemed like a LOT OF MONEY to me for one day. I know they can keep the suits and it's always nice for a guy to have a nice suit that's fitted to them. They're dark navy so can be worn for any dressy occasion so it's not like a bridesmaid dress where, no matter how much you like it, you'll probably never wear it again. FI's opinion is that since we're older (34 years old) and all of the GM are in the same age group, everyone is established enough that they can afford $300+ for this suit. I understand his mindset, but I still feel like he needs to clear it with all of them before he decides on asking them to spend that much money. What do you think? I know $300 is a good price for a fitted suit and they all know that $150 is pretty common around here for a tux rental so I know they are aware it will be at least that much. But is it rude that he's not asking them up front if they're comfortable with that amount? Prices haven't been discussed at all with any of them. We are extremely close with all of the GM and I know that they all *can* afford it. But shouldn't they get a say in how much they'd prefer spending and we probably shouldn't assume that $300(ish) is just fine with all of them? I don't want to butt in as I feel like this is his choice and he didn't make any comments on how I handled the BM dresses. This is between him and the GM but I do want to make sure we're not overstepping before he makes a final decision and tells them all how much he's asking them to shell out on these! 

Re: Bride vs. Groom opinion on suits

  • He's worried about all of the navy's being a different color. We're having a full catholic mass in a cathedral, the BM's are all wearing the same dress and we're wanting a uniform look. I know a lot of people frown on that but I agree with him that the suits should be the same. They are all made by the same company but will be altered to fit each GM individually. We were able to negotiate with the store he's chosen for free alterations at least. 
  • He's worried about all of the navy's being a different color. We're having a full catholic mass in a cathedral, the BM's are all wearing the same dress and we're wanting a uniform look. I know a lot of people frown on that but I agree with him that the suits should be the same. They are all made by the same company but will be altered to fit each GM individually. We were able to negotiate with the store he's chosen for free alterations at least. 
    Neat. He's still asking them to shell out a lot of money without bothering to even check budget with them first. He won't even allow them any options!
  • Do they all have similar body types? Because, again, different styles will look horrible on some guys depending on their body type. And if you are telling them to buy vs rent....
  • Ironring said:
    Short answer, yes, your FI should ask and take into account budget constraints.

    BUT! Why is he dictating this at all? Not all suit styles look good on all guys so telling a guy to buy a specific suit is not a good option. Is there an issue with telling his groomsmen "get a dark navy suit for the wedding, whether that means renting one, buying one, or borrowing one and we will provide the tie and pocket square."? This way, they can choose to buy a suit if they want, they can get a flattering style, and they can make sure they get one within their budget. 
    So true. My SIL chose gray suits (they were listed as tuxes). They looked great on the tall, thin groom and one GM, but it wasn't flattering on the ones that weren't tall and thin - none of them were really heavy. Just let them pick their own suit.
  • Nope, he shouldn't spend their money for them. He needs to have the same conversation you had with each of your bridesmaids privately with each of his groomsmen and find out what everyone is comfortable spending.

    Suits and their fit is a somewhat personal preference thing also. I'd hate to see my H spend that kind of money on a suit he would hate to wear; he may well wear it only once just like your BMs.

    The concern about the photos and the look of things should never override your loved ones' comfort and budgets.
  • edited July 2016

    He's worried about all of the navy's being a different color. We're having a full catholic mass in a cathedral, the BM's are all wearing the same dress and we're wanting a uniform look. I know a lot of people frown on that but I agree with him that the suits should be the same. They are all made by the same company but will be altered to fit each GM individually. We were able to negotiate with the store he's chosen for free alterations at least. 
    DD had a full Catholic mass in a large, historic church (not a cathedral ). The BMs didn't all match but all wore navy. The navy colors were very close. The GMs did match but see my comment above. I think you are both over thinking this. No one, and I mean no one will look askance at them not matching! Everyone commented on how beautiful all the girls were.
  • First, I would look someplace like Kohl's, JCP, or Sears to see if they have a navy suit that would be far more budget friendly.  Heck, even Walmart offers a basic suit..  Really, he needs to talk to the guys and find out what they're comfortable spending on this.  $150 is FAR different from $300 without even adding in shirts, ties, and pocket squares.  Also, some guys aren't fans of Navy Blue suits, so they may say "just rent" for the sake of they'd rather rent than own a suit in a color they're NAF of...

    Wedding Vision does not trump friendship! 

  • Our GM wore suits they purchased. My H talked to all the guys, individually about buying v renting, their price ranges, and color/cut. They all met at Macy's a weekend when they had a sale to pick out what they wanted. Turns out they all liked the same suit (even though all we said was gray suits), but they were all able to pick what they wanted, in their price range.

    We we gave them pocket squares, ties, nice collar stays, and tie pins, along with a personalized gift as part of their present. Now every time we see one of them at a wedding they point out that they all actually have tie pins.  

    Ppint being, insist your FI talks to them; maybe they're all in the market for a new sit (ours were, the BM bought two bc they were such a good deal), maybe they wear suits for work, maybe they're tight on cash, maybe they never wear suits. Have him talk to them and see what they want to do. 
  • I like you, @Knot1451532515.  Change your name to a non-knottieNumbers one and stick around!

  • My FI has one suit that he got for a job interview two years ago. He's since worn it one other time. If he were told he had to purchase rather than rent, he'd do it because that's who he is, but it would sit there in the closet collecting dust just like the last one has. 
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yes, FI needs to clear the budget first and find a suit at the lowest price point. A lot of the large department stores, while not a custom suit, would have suits in a lower price point. I *do* get the idea of not wanting to rent, as IME, rental suits are not very nice and you still pay $200+ for the rental! But if FI decides he'd rather buy for that reason, it needs to be a suit that would be a better option than renting (i.e. a suit the GM get to own for the same price as a rental).

    We ask BMs to pay for a dress they are likely to only wear once all the time, so I don't think it should be any different for a GM. However, the same rules regarding budget still apply.

    Just because they can afford $300+, doesn't mean they want to. My DH owns a made to measure 3 piece navy suit. He wouldn't be particularly happy about paying $300+ for another one. Sure, if it was a different suit that he didn't own yet, and he liked the company, he'd do it but unless you'd need to ask all the GM and be prepared to change the colour should that be the case.

    When we got married, DH, his best man and groomsman did buy suits. DH asked their budget first, then found a place to buy. It's a Canadian company, but they bought from Eph Apparel. They have many options, the availability to customize some aspects and they are made to measure. All 3 got navy suits, but they weren't the exact same. He also asked both men if they owned a navy suit or not prior.

  • FWIW, for our wedding, DH just told all the GM to wear a navy suit. We had varying shades and one guy couldn't afford a suit but owned a black tux and wore that. The pictures turne dout fine and it looked great. Some guys bought a suit, some already had one, and some rented (heck, one guy even borrowed one from his uncle). I think it is far more important that their budgets are considered than maintaining uniformity. 

  • Sounds like you are on the right track with asking the budgets.  I second going to a box store JCP, Sears, (Boscov's is a great option where I live) even Macy's has some excellent prices on their suits and it may very well be cheaper to buy those than rent.

    For our wedding we told the guys to wear a grey color.  We had a checkered light grey, two "mid greys" and three charcoal greys that were repurposed by the family members that were all in the Brother-in-laws wedding party.  Then the groom went and got a Black suit anyway!!!  My BM's did have the same Gown color, but all had different styles and I think it made it look all the more awesome in photos!

  • I talked to FI about all of this the other night. I think it's a great point that the ushers shouldn't have to purchase new suits, they can just wear a navy suit. Or a suit of any color really. Then we talked about JCP or Macy's idea. It was more, I talked and he listened. And then he very nicely told me that this is what he wants and they'll be fine and this is his thing and he has a "vision" of what he wants his GM to look like. Seriously? Really? Wedding planning has apparently turned my beer drinking sports fanatic fiance into a complete diva. I'm out. I'm washing my hands of the suit discussion. This is all 100% on him and his "vision." I wish I could get him to start a discussion under a random Knottie# with his opinion on all of this and see what kind of replys he gets. I love him dearly and I can't wait to marry him and if this vision of fitted suits is what he be it. I'll pick my battles! 
  • edited July 2016
    I'm curious to know what the groomsmens responses will be once he tells them about his vision...but I agree that this is his issue to sort out and there's not much more you can do at this point. 
  • Good thing he's cute. 
  • I'm confused as to why he is against renting, especially if he wants them all in the same suit. It seems like the easier, less expensive option.
  • I understand the need to pick battles. Let's hope he doesn't piss off his friends and they're as laid back and willing to buy suits as your FI hopes!

    In the past, I never saw groomsmen in suits. Always (poorly-fitting) rental tuxes. Maybe the guys are so used to rental tuxes they'll be happy to just be buying a suit they can wear again.

    But if your FI ever wants to ask the crowd here, I'm a person who can assure him that suits to fit body type matter more than being identical styles and colors, and no one's going to know the difference. Our guys wore black suits out of their closets and in the pictures you'd never know they weren't "identical."

    Good luck OP!

  • edited July 2016
    @tigerlily6, you all look fabulous!
  • Thanks, @OurWildKingdom! I cropped our heads for privacy of the WP, but I need to get a separate post going with some more photos here soon! Some of them are starting to come in and I'm so excited! :smiley:

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • You guys look great! Thank you so much for the picture too! It's great to be able to see what it would look like if they're not all completely uniform. I love it and can't wait to see some more! Your dress looks amazing. I still think I'm going to stay out of this one with him, I feel like I'm close enough to all of the guys (family members and life long friends) that if they have too big of a problem with his plan, I know I'll hear about it and can address it with him at that time. In the meantime, my girls are set and I'll work on getting the guys ties and pocket squares (I know...NOT as a gift!) and keep my etiquette opinions to myself with him! 
  • Let the guys rent a suit! That is the cheapest way out.

    Do it like they do with BM gowns: tell the guys: "Wear a dark suit; rent a charcoal grey one" -- or whatever your color choice is. 
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