Hi all, I’m really hoping I can find help here….
I am having a very difficult time figuring out what to do and how to be happy and excited about it. First-I come from a divorced family (as does my fiancé) and have had a terrified/horrible opinion on marriage since my parent’s nasty divorce. I also don’t have a great relationship with my father-I have desperately wanted one since I can remember, but he traveled a lot, was never around, then treated this tom girl as a girly girl who just couldn’t hang. He is now remarried and has a new family that he insists on being there (even people I have never met). I also have just one close friend. ONE. It is hard to think of such a joyous day when you should be surrounded with friends and family and it just seems miserable to me… magnifying the fact that I have very few people that are close to me – not for lack of effort.
Next-there is a band we LOVE that we tried to get for the reception thinking it would be the greatest thing ever. After 5 months of working with the agent they flat out said no-why couldn’t they have told us that instead of leading us on and telling us they will work it out!?! I have looked into local wedding bands that play covers and they actually cost more than we were going to pay for a band that has all original music with a couple covers by our request-and I just don’t see how that is good money spent.
I have had a hard time because spending this amount of money (we will be paying for the majority ourselves) on a party with subpar food, playing music off a phone and having no one there for me seems like a horrible day. I’d rather run away and get married with the person I love-but save the dates have been sent and plane tickets have been purchased.
I’m looking for advice - on how to adjust my thoughts to remember that it will be an amazing day no matter what AND what in heaven’s name to do in place of the band.
I appreciate the thoughts and am open to all sorts of ideas!