Hi all, I’m really hoping I can find help here….
I am having a very difficult time figuring out what to do
and how to be happy and excited about it. First-I come from a divorced family
(as does my fiancé) and have had a terrified/horrible opinion on marriage since
my parent’s nasty divorce. I also don’t have a great relationship with my
father-I have desperately wanted one since I can remember, but he traveled a
lot, was never around, then treated this tom girl as a girly girl who just
couldn’t hang. He is now remarried and has a new family that he insists on being
there (even people I have never met). I also have just one close friend. ONE. It
is hard to think of such a joyous day when you should be surrounded with
friends and family and it just seems miserable to me… magnifying the fact that
I have very few people that are close to me – not for lack of effort.
Next-there is a band we LOVE that we tried to get for the
reception thinking it would be the greatest thing ever. After 5 months of
working with the agent they flat out said no-why couldn’t they have told us
that instead of leading us on and telling us they will work it out!?! I have
looked into local wedding bands that play covers and they actually cost more
than we were going to pay for a band that has all original music with a couple
covers by our request-and I just don’t see how that is good money spent.
I have had a hard time because spending this amount of money
(we will be paying for the majority ourselves) on a party with subpar food,
playing music off a phone and having no one there for me seems like a horrible
day. I’d rather run away and get married with the person I love-but save the
dates have been sent and plane tickets have been purchased.
I’m looking for advice - on how to adjust my thoughts to
remember that it will be an amazing day no matter what AND what in heaven’s
name to do in place of the band.
I appreciate the thoughts and am open to all sorts of ideas!