Last nice thing your SO did/gave to you

theycallmelinz

kimmiinthemitten said:

Never have I ever seen a post more in dire need of a TL;DR summary.

But at least she's being positive (I assume, I didn't read it).

I only made it 3 paragraphs, but I'm glad he's so awesome to her lol

glasgowtolondon

DrillSergeantCat said:

glasgowtolondon said:

I think we should declare this thread dead. No one will beat 5 paragraphs about kissing butts.
 

Kissing butts? I didn't read it, so I'm confused and/or concerned.

Basically her husband really loves to kiss her ass, and not metaphorically. He can't help himself. Oh, and she is so tiny that he won't let her do laundry or change a light bulb. Thats the tl;dr that she didn't include. 

drunkenwitch

DrillSergeantCat said:

glasgowtolondon said:

I think we should declare this thread dead. No one will beat 5 paragraphs about kissing butts.
 

Kissing butts? I didn't read it, so I'm confused and/or concerned.

I didn't read it either, so either it's about figuratively kissing butts or several paragraphs devoted to rimming.

sparklepants41

I just read this Epic Butt Kiss Saga and was trying too hard to laugh quietly to myself in my office that I ended up snorting really loudly. 

I rarely use the word "y'all" but I really feel it's appropriate here.

Y'all I am having serious breathing problems after reading this. 

drunkenwitch

glasgowtolondon said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

glasgowtolondon said:

I think we should declare this thread dead. No one will beat 5 paragraphs about kissing butts.
 

Kissing butts? I didn't read it, so I'm confused and/or concerned.

Basically her husband really loves to kiss her ass, and not metaphorically. He can't help himself. Oh, and she is so tiny that he won't let her do laundry or change a light bulb. Thats the tl;dr that she didn't include. 

Oh, I see. 

sparklepants41

glasgowtolondon said:

DrillSergeantCat said:

glasgowtolondon said:

I think we should declare this thread dead. No one will beat 5 paragraphs about kissing butts.
 

Kissing butts? I didn't read it, so I'm confused and/or concerned.

Basically her husband really loves to kiss her ass, and not metaphorically. He can't help himself. Oh, and she is so tiny that he won't let her do laundry or change a light bulb. Thats the tl;dr that she didn't include. 

Is anyone else picturing this? 

indigo26

I actually made it through that wall-o-text.... I blame my wine.

He cooked the bacon for breakfast (I'm better at frying eggs). Oh and he did all the laundry so I wouldn't have to slog through a mountain of this weekend. I hate doing laundry - mostly because I have to go outside to get into our garage where the washer/dryer are. And then on the way to the lake, he bought me wine spritzers since I'm picky on what I drink whilst floating.

OliveOilsMom

I just got a PM from thestaircase and requested I comment on her post on this thread.  I really don't know what to say other than what has been repeated over and over again. 

Mainly, go find an American therapist.  Your Chinese one did not help you at all.  Any therapist who will make fun of you is a jack-ass not worthy of their degree.  Go find someone who you feel comfortable with and get help. 

ShesSoCold

thestaircase said:

Love this thread, I love positive thread topics! I read all the replies, hope to see more comments/replies.

My husband do alot of things; he been doing it and still doing it, it nothing new. He still do what he do. He do it before, he still do it now. He hasn't change. I guess he is stubborn guy, lol
He do alot of things; I dunno if count as nice things, or perhaps he just flat out corny, lol

Eversince I married him. All I have to do is cook him dinner (he loves eat Chinese food), and help wash dishes. And be his wife. (All he ask me for is cook him homemade food so he have food to eat when he comes home from work. And ask me to be his wife).
After dinner he the one that clean the kitchen; after done clean the kitchen he help with the dishes too.
He do laundry. He do cleaning around the house, do maintenance. He do all the vacuum, mopping, sweeping, take out the trash, housework things he do.
He the one that scrub and clean the toilet bowl. Never once he let me clean the toielt or clean the bathroom. He specificly said things like clean scrub the toilet, cleaning toilet/bathroom it that is the husband job, he wants to be the one that do it.
Never once I have to clean the toilet/bathroom, he do it all. Heck, even buy toilet paper is he bought.

ugh.. I'm not a neat person, but my husband is. He just very neat. For example: After dinner we eat dinner; my husband clean the kitchen, and I wash dishes.
He very neat. He cleans and wipes all the cooking oil splatters and stains. He make sure the kitchen appliances, stoves ovens are spotless.
When he done clean the kitchen; he join help me with the dishes, he finished it up for me.
..and he neat again; after he done finished the dishes, he wipes dry all the water spots that was left on the kitchen countertop from washing dishes. (he's a clean-freak and a neat-freak, lol).

------ He won't let me do laundry, in our house he is the one that do laundry. He said he wants to be the one that do laundry; do my laundry and his laundry together.  I let him have it 'his' ways, it not like bully me or anything.. And it sure not worth it an arguement over something like this.

Back 2 years ago when we began started live together; sometimes I help do his laundry (I tried to be a good GF cater him, lol). But I have own my habits of doing laundry--the way I do laundry is I just throw everything in the washer/dryer, and throw everything mix together in the baskets when done. That just how I myself do laundry.

But him? He very neat, a neat-freak I guess.. I dunno, but then he started to take over doing laundry (do mine and his laundry together); and he been doing the laundry job eversince.
We got married 18 months ago, and he still the one that do laundry.. He said he 'wants' to do our laundry; not just his only but do mine and his together.

He said he doesn't want to see his 'wife' carry heavy laundry, and said doing laundry is his job--the husband job. He a neat person, so perhaps he wants laundry done 'his' way?
I'm only 4'11" short height, perhaps he thinks I'm too short and not want me to carry heavy laundry? lol.. I dunno
He make the bed, washing bed sheets comforters blankets. He wash our clothes--he do laundry loads, washing and drying. And he sort and fold the clean clothes put it in the baskets, and carry it to the bedroom for me.

He so neat.. He sort our laundry. White color, dark color. Light-weight clothes like my blouse, my shirt. Heavy-weight clothes like jeans jacket. Basically he do my laundry for me. He do both my laundry and his laundry together.
When done washing drying. He still sort them when he fold the clean clothes into the baskets. Shirt, jeans, pants, sweaters, jackets, my blouse, my bra, my underwear, my bra, my underwear, etc.. He sort all our clothes and fold neatly into the baskets. Heck, my bra and underwear he still sort and fold.
When laundry all done, he carry the baskets to the bedroom for me.. He said he just wants his 'wife' to help put clothes in the drawers, hang it up in the closet, and help iron some clothes if needed.

When it laundry days, he always make sure he have laundry done for me before he go to work.. Laundry is all he do--from do to finish. He won't let me carry heavy laundry, he always carry the clean laundry baskets to the bedroom for me.

Yup, he do laundry, and that just how he prefers to do it.. I let him have it 'his' ways so he can be happy. It sure not worth it an argument over who do laundry.

I do ask him how can I help? He said if I want to help--cook him something do eat, so when laundry done we eat together. So he do laundry and I cook, lol

I do cook for him everyday though.. He work long hours, so I said let me take over the cooking job.
We always make the effort to eat together. We go to sleep and wake up at the same time. We boring and very routine. We like an old couple, lol

------ He always carry everything for me. He doesn't let me carried a bag of grocery, or carried laundry. He just won't let me carried anything heavy, at all.
Everything on the kitchen shelves, he purposely put it all within my petite height reach.
He doesn't want to see me climb on a tall chair to change the dead lightbulb on top of the ceiling, he thinks I'm gonna fall.. He said If the ceiling lightbulb dead when he not home, use the table Lamp instead; and wait he get home from work, and he'll change it for me.
He make it clear he doesn't want to see his 'wife' climb on tall chair--to change the light bulb on top of the ceiling, or for whatever reason.

He always been protective like this, from acquaintance to friends to dating to married; he always help me carried my supermarket bags, carried my laundry, help fix my car, help me change the lightbulb, etc..
He said he wants to be the one that carry my grocery bags, be the one that change the lightbulb for me.
He corny; he put a table lamp in the living room, and put a table lamp in each of the bedroom in our apartment.. We live in a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom apartment; we sleep in the master bedroom, the other bedroom it just an extra bedroom--there no need for him to put a table lamp in there too, Lol

I'm 4'11" petite short height girl, curvy body type. I'm not tall, not thin at all. I'm chubby; I always have been the plump and rounded body type girl.
But I'm 4 feet 11 inches (I'm not even 5 feet), perhaps he thinks I'm too petite height? I dunno why he always over-protective of me, it must be my short height right? right? lol

------ I love love the Denim jeans at Express in the mall. But the price is pricey it $85 a pair, (it probably not alot to others; but to a girl like me who work minimum wage jobs all my life, $85 for a pair of jeans is pricey).
Last time we went to the mall, he generously bought me five pairs of Demin jeans at Express, (I only want one pair but he bought me five). I guess he knows how much I love those jeans, so he bought me 5 pairs.

Everytime whenever we go shopping. He said buy clothes buy shoe, buy whatever I like; and he just pay.. He said he wants 'me' to chose. He thinks it best that I chose. Because if he chose, he doesn't know if I like the style or if I like the color. So he said I grab whatever I want, and he pays.
He knows I'm frugal, I guess he knows if he doesn't buy it for me I won't buy it for myself.. I'm grateful that he is generous, but I don't want to go to the mall with him anymore. I know he generous with his money but still, I don't like to see him spend money like that. He work hard for his paychecks, it doesn't fall down from the sky.

Well, three weeks ago I agree to let him tak me to the mall; he was able to get me to go to the mall, lol
I saw a pair of shoe I really like but it pricey. I said when it go 'On sale' price I will buy it. He said No, he said he buy it for me regular price.
He end up bought me 5 pairs of shoes. Well, to be exact: it was 2 pairs of shoes, 1 pair of ankle boots, 1 pair of high heels and 1 pair of sandals.
It me that choose all the 5 pairs, he let me freely chose it because he doesn't know what style I like, or whether if the shoe is comfy when I wear it or not. So he lets me chose, and he just pays.
He really generous.

I use this Foam cleanser face wash, it cost $55 a tube--it a Japan brand and it come in a small size tube, (I thought it pricey consider the tube size; but it a must buy item, no way I'm using a different brand).
Everytime my husband see my facewash almost run out, he always bought 2 new tubes for me. I get endless facewash supply from him, lol
A month ago, he saw I only have 1/3 of the tube left, so he bought 2 new ones for me.

I am very frugal, I always buy things on sale price and on Clearance price. But he said No. He said he make enough money to buy me things regular price. So let him buy it for me.
I told him it waste of money, but he said it not because he bought it for me--his 'wife'. He doesn't think it waste of money when what he bought is bought for his 'wife'.

------ He make the best potato salad, and stuffing. It something in the taste of his food that it taste sooo good, (I ate countless of potato salad and stuffing. And none can match up to the taste of his).
He very nice to me. Last time while eating dinner, I told him suddenly I have craving for his potato salad--it was just a random sentence I said while eating on the dinner table.. Because of this one sentence I said; after he finished his plate of dinner, he went straight to the kitchen and make the potato salad for me.
He didn't even hesitate for a second, after he finished is plate of Chinese food, he went straight to the kitchen and make the potato salad I said I was craving for.

He said he make it anytime for me. He said if I like to eat the food he make, he will make it everyday for me.

He make the best BBQ Beef Brisket (southern style), he make it the best!
There times when I have craving for his BBQ Beef Brisket, lol.. But I know Beef brisket it not the same as potato salad, it take hours and hours to cook for the beef to tender. So if I can't shut down my craving and 'must' eat it, I wait till the weekend when he have half a day off from work then ask if he can make it for me, he never say No.

He work 12 hours a day just so I can live a comfy life without have to worried about money.
I can't be unreasonable. So when I want to eat his Beef brisket, I wait till the weekend when he work less hours, and he will make it for me. He never hesitate. He said he very happy that his wife likes to eat the food he make.

------ Well, this is an embarrassing one, lol
My husband he likes to kiss my butt cheek whenever we in bed together. He kiss it everyday.. Naked or clothed, underwear or short on, he still likes to kiss it. He do it every chance he gets, lol
I have the bad habit of sleeping on my stomach. And I lay in bed on my stomach sometimes playing on my laptop/phone. Or just lay in bed on my stomach.. Whenever he see me lay on my stomach, he would kiss my butt cheek. Or simply as when he walk in the bedroom and see me laying flat on my stomach.
To me it just sooo awkward! I told him it embarrassing. But he said he have nothing to be embarrassed about that he kiss his "wife" butt cheek, that his reasoning.

We got married 18 months ago, and he still do what he do.
He still give me the reasoning that he have nothing to be embarrassed about that he kiss his 'wife' butt cheek.. I just dunno how to response back to him when he give a reasoning like that.

He very respectful. He doesn't bite, doesn't slap, doesn't gropes, doesn't spank my butt, not even a light spank.
He just simply put his lips on my butt cheek and kiss it, a gentle slow kiss type.
...when I get dress, sometimes I look at my butt in the mirror and I keep wondering why he likes to kiss it? Is there something wrong with my butt? lol

It random kisses, he do it randomly. When he around don't let him see my butt, or else I know exactly what he gonna do, lol
ugh.. at our age we not young anymore; I'm 31 and he 30, it kindda embarrassing.
But I know this is his way of show affection. So I do try to adapt to "his" way of affection, I let him do it.. I giggles. I giggles and sometimes give him a hug. He was sooo happy that I enjoy it and that I appreciate his kiss.

------ In the cold winter time; my hands and feet get freezing, like very very cold.. He know this, so he rubs my feet and hands; when we in bed-he always rubs my hands and rubs my feet.
We did tried to turn on heater; but when the heater stays on, after a while I get bleeding nose.. He knows this so he doesn't want to leave the heater on, I guess because he doesn't want to see my nose bleeds. He keeps rubs my hands and rubs my feet to helps keep it stay warm.

When my hands and feet get cold again, he rubs my hands and feet again. He said he doesn't want to leave the heater on long, because he knows the heater gives me nosebleed.
ugh.. he kiss the top of my foot too, my foot dorsal. And last winter he bought me those really soft fluffy slippers so I can wear walking around on the carpet at home, in the winter time my feet get cold even walking on the carpet.. And he bought me those thick warm socks to wear in bed when sleep.

------ I have a habit of leave random things all over the bedroom carpet, usually like 5-6 things laying on the bedroom carpet.
My husband knows this, so when he walk in the bedroom, he walk in carefully. (I guess she doesn't want to accidently step on it). And he always pick the stuff up and put it back into place for me.. Never once he criticize me, he just quietly pick it all up and put it back in place for me.
I have try to not leave stuff all over the carpet anymore. It getting better, but habits died hard. ugh.. like right now I have a box of tissue on the carpet floor, and my phone charger.

Never once he said anything about my habits. But I know he is a neat-freak and a clean-freak.. I told him I'm going to try to not leave things on the carpet anymore. He said I'm silly, he said don't sweat about it, he doesn't mind pick it all up for me. He said I leave things on the carpet, he will pick it up. He doesn't see what is the problem?

------He very protective of me.
I can be quite clumsy, not all the time but sometimes.
Last time I accidently dropped soda cans, and it exploded all over the kitchen.. Being multi-tasking that I am, I try carried
4 Coca-Cola cans in one hand. I dropped all 4 cans, it exploded. It spills, fizz and splashed all over the kitchen floor.
He didn't get mad, he said let him clean it up. He doesn't want me to slip and fall, so he said I go watch TV in the living room, and he clean up the kitchen.

Another example of my clumsy habit.
Last time I dropped a big glass cup in the kitchen. The glass break into many pieces big and small, and the tiny pieces glass shattered all over the kitchen floor.
He didn't get mad, he said he does Not want me to touch the broken glass pieces. Because he worried that the broken glass pieces might cut my finger if I pick it up; so I let him pick it up and clean it all up.
ugh.. the broken glass pieces sure does look sharp, but he use his fingers to pick it up. Since the broken glass pieces shattered all over the kitchen floor, it was a mess. But he won't let me help him, he wants to be the one that pick it up and clean it up.

------ He worries and secure everything from emotionally to financially; everything I have right now is he gives me. Because of him I get to live stable steady and comfy life.
He work 12 hours a day, just so I can have a comfy life, so I can live a comfy life without have to worried about money.
We in in the High cost of living state California; everything here is freaking expensive.
Here every household there got to be one person who work their butt off just so their wife and kids can have a comfy life.. But I miss my husband, I wish he didn't have to work that longgg hours, but in order to live a comfy life, work longgg hours is just how it is in California.

Eventhough he secure everything already, from emotionally to financially. He pays Rent, he pays All the bills. Everything I have right now is he gives me.
But he still want to see me well taken care of. He gives me money everytime he gets pay.. Everytime he gets pay, he give me money. He put cash money in my hand, he said it mine, my 'spending money'. Spend it on whatever I want, buy whatever I want/need.
But I don't need anything, because he already give me everything. Everything I have right now is he gives me. Pretty clothes and shoe I wear is he bought for me. The fridge is full of meat, too much food in our house, it all he bought. All the things in our house, to all the bills he pays. Everything is he pays.
I don't see why he needs to give me money, but he still do.
I told him I put all the cash money he give me into a saving account, I open a saving account just to put in the cash money he gives me in there only. When we have a baby, we use it for baby expense, or save it for baby-college.

Welp, it getting super long; but yeah that is some examples of the things my corny husband do, lol
He might be a bit corny, lol.. but he is an awesome awesome husband! He loves me in every possible way that he can. I feel blessed to have him as my husband. I have no regrets this lifetime.

I have no regrets. Despite my Chinese parents--especially my mother disown me/completely cut me off after I got married. (My mother pretty much force me to chose between her and my dad, or him. And when I chose him, she disown me).
He come straight from Sierra Leone, West Africa. It a small country in West Africa. His ethnicity is irrelevant, what matter is he treats me really well.. I just don't get it, I don't get why it so hard for my mother to accept him; she disapproved him SOLELY because of his ethnicity. It just so Unfair to him, seeing how unreasonably my mother is to him.
My mother unreasonably disapproved him since day one, she totally rejected him since the beginning.
She said alot of hurtful words, and she disrespect him.. NEVER once my mother care enough to meet him.  She very very unreasonable. She doesn't even care to know his name, let alone his jobs or who he is as a person. NEVER once she care enough to met him. It just so Unfair to him!
(My older brother is the only person in my family that accept my husband). Even till this day my mother still haven't accept my husband nor accept my marriage.

Wait...does he do the laundry?

thestaircase

Yes, my husband do laundry.

I did send Ms. OliveOilsMom a message said I been trying to find an American therapist--maybe the western approach will help me more; but I  worired the new therapist will make fun at me.
And I asked Ms. OliveOilsMom eventhough I have a husband loves me, but I'm just not use to it; it like I just can't seem to adapt to happiness.
Or accept happiness, or accept my my husband love for me.. I don't know, but it just so hard for me to accept happiness.

Perhaps I never have happiness before in my childhood. My mom abuse me in my chidlhood, she never love me, even my own mother--the woman who gave birth to me never love me.

Like Ms. OliveOilsMom said; I have zero self-worth, no self-esteem.
My heart tell me my husband loves me. But my brain say No, he doesn't.. He did all those things fo rme, perhaps it simply because he feel bad for me that my mother disown me (due to I chose to married him).
Perhaps he feel bad for me because I'm 4'11" petite short height.
Perhaps he stay married to me because he feels pity for me, he stay married out of pity love.. I dunno, I guess I never love myself before therefore I can't seem to able to accept anyone love me; even that person is my own husband--the guy I'm married to.

--------------------
This comment/post of mine here: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/comment/7838796/#Comment_7838796
I re-read it and I seem to come back to square one, I have zero self-worth. I don't even love myself, let alone able to accept anyone love me.

I complains that my husband is 'not very normal; A long list of complains of the 'not very normal' things my husband do, (I posted it on another forum that I been a member posting on for almost 2 years).. And the ladies in that forum look at me like I have two heads, lol

The ladies there said my husband is Normal! They said accept that my husband loves me. He's not abnormal. He just loves you. He just a simple man who loves and adores his wife.
They said stop calling him 'not normal'. He's not like other men because he is not other men.. He is who he is, he just himself, he is he.
He's not abnormal. He's not like other people's husband because he is not other people husband. He is my husband.

They told me to stop complaining; accept him for who he is, including his quirks/his corny ways. Stop complaining, stop say he not normal. He is normal!

-----------------------
Yes, I understand what they said.. But I don't know I'm just not use to happiness and a happy life.
I don't crave happiness, I crave unhappiness and emotionally torture.

Perhaps it because my childhood was dysfunctional, I grew up in chaotic and unhappiness. My mother abuse me emotionally and verbally, and once physically abuse me. And she belittle me throughout my whole childhood.. Growing up I always have the thinking that the dysfunctional, chaos and unhappiness is the 'normal'.

I need 'something wrong with my husband/marriage' so that life feels "normal" to me. An unhappiness and emotional toture life feels "normal" to me, it like that is my comfort zone. I dunno if this make sense, but it what I feel.

I'm sorry I'm rambling again. I end my reply/comment here. Sorry for went off-topic on Ms. OP thread.
I have a scatter brain. My train of thoughts are scatter all over the place.. I always type straight out what in my head, I don't think before I talk. I'm not good at wording. Sorry.

Happy weekend to everyone here on TheKnot, hope everyone have a great Sat-Sun with your family and love ones.

CharmedPam

thestaircase said:

Yes, my husband do laundry.

And yes, I did send Ms. OliveOilsMom a message said I been trying to find an American therapist--maybe the western approach will help me more; but I  worired the new therapist will make fun at me.
And I asked Ms. OliveOilsMom eventhough I have a husband loves me, but I'm just not use to it; it like I just can't seem to adapt to happiness.
Or accept happiness, or accept my my husband love for me.. I don't know, but it just so hard for me to accept happiness.

SITB

You're not alone, there are others out there who cannot accept happiness.  And if your new therapist DOES make fun of you, they would be a fraud.  You would have to pick yourself up and find another one.

My health insurance offers 3 free sessions (no copay) to make sure you and the therapist is a good fit.  Look into that option?