Moms and Maids

Mom/mom bf drama rant?

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Re: Mom/mom bf drama rant?

  • MesmrEwe said:
    @Sherbie25 - his side is very dysfunctional, more so than mine. Like him mom is literally crazy, so if i let her sit with the kids they're out of our/their parents hair for the evening and FMIL wont complain that she didnt get to spend time with them all day. 

    Yea - no - your FMIL's Son is getting married, she's not a hired vendor to babysit someone else's kids, that's what parents are for.  It's her day to watch the little boy who held her hand get married and enjoy the moment, not work.  Doesn't matter how dysfunctional the relationship is, don't ask/expect her to work.
    This. At two of H's family weddings they sat his youngest cousin at our table. All of his other cousins are in their 20s and 30s, and this one was 9. I felt like I had to entertain him the whole time we were eating dinner because of the huge age gap and because his parents were across the room. I also had to make sure he didn't drink the champagne by accident, etc. It sucked and I would have preferred to not have felt that way and just been able to enjoy myself.
    Sherbie25InLoveInQueensMesmrEwe
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @OliveOilsMom - we are having a head table, their dates will be allowed to sit with us, as they are are closest friends/family. we do have a married couple (FBIL and his wife is his date but not in WP), i don't want children sitting with me at my table, but FI doesnt want a sweetheart table. we were thinking of kids table, but not really sure how well that would go with a table of unattended children. FMIL always complains that she doesnt get to spend time with her grandkids so FI thought its a nice gesture to sit FBIL's kids and FSIL's (other sibling w child) kid w FMIL at parent's table. there isnt anywhere else to really put that that they would behave. and honestly it's just for the dinner part of the reception, we will be having "goodie bags" with activities for the kids to do, like bubbles, coloring books, etc AND unlimited access to photo booth for the night, so i think they'll be fine?
    As much as your FMIL might want to spend time with her grandchildren, she probably doesn't want to babysit them at her son's wedding.
    MesmrEwezitiqueen
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @OliveOilsMom - we are having a head table, their dates will be allowed to sit with us, as they are are closest friends/family. we do have a married couple (FBIL and his wife is his date but not in WP), i don't want children sitting with me at my table, but FI doesnt want a sweetheart table. we were thinking of kids table, but not really sure how well that would go with a table of unattended children. FMIL always complains that she doesnt get to spend time with her grandkids so FI thought its a nice gesture to sit FBIL's kids and FSIL's (other sibling w child) kid w FMIL at parent's table. there isnt anywhere else to really put that that they would behave. and honestly it's just for the dinner part of the reception, we will be having "goodie bags" with activities for the kids to do, like bubbles, coloring books, etc AND unlimited access to photo booth for the night, so i think they'll be fine?
    Kids running around with open bubbles on a dance floor.....what could go wrong?  Please remind the photo booth attendant to heavily medicate prior to the reception. 

    @sabrinamarie819 , did you stop to consider that allowing unlimited access to a photo booth might not only deter or prevent your guests from enjoying it, every picture has the potential to be photo bombed by these unattended kids?
    MesmrEwe
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2016
    "CMGragain bio dad lives in houston (we're in chicago), and also has done this same situation where he promised money (that I was hoping to use for school books), and didn't follow through, but coincidentally bought a new motorcycle after i asked. I have him blocked on fb because of that, and also because I never wanted him in my life to begin with (long story; deadbeat, didn't make an "effort" til i was 10). I don't mind that it's rude because he deserves all that and more. But i was just curious if i should or not. I don't usually bring him up unless i'm already upset about something to do with moms bf, or mom."

    You have a lot of anger towards your family.  Lots of brides have crazy families and they learn to have relationships with them, or not.  My own family makes yours look like the Cleavers.   Behaving rudely towards someone is not acceptable on your part.

    Please check into counseling.  Your anger is going to destroy you if you don't get help.  Marriage will not solve these problems for you.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29OliveOilsMomMesmrEwe
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    "CMGragain bio dad lives in houston (we're in chicago), and also has done this same situation where he promised money (that I was hoping to use for school books), and didn't follow through, but coincidentally bought a new motorcycle after i asked. I have him blocked on fb because of that, and also because I never wanted him in my life to begin with (long story; deadbeat, didn't make an "effort" til i was 10). I don't mind that it's rude because he deserves all that and more. But i was just curious if i should or not. I don't usually bring him up unless i'm already upset about something to do with moms bf, or mom."

    You have a lot of anger towards your family.  Lots of brides have crazy families and they learn to have relationships with them, or not.  My own family makes yours look like the Cleavers.   Behaving rudely towards someone is not acceptable on your part.

    Please check into counseling.  Your anger is going to destroy you if you don't get help.  Marriage will not solve these problems for you.
    How do you know that? Do you personally know her family members?

    Maybe her family members make yours look like the Cleavers.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2016
    Jen4948 said:
    CMGragain said:
    "CMGragain bio dad lives in houston (we're in chicago), and also has done this same situation where he promised money (that I was hoping to use for school books), and didn't follow through, but coincidentally bought a new motorcycle after i asked. I have him blocked on fb because of that, and also because I never wanted him in my life to begin with (long story; deadbeat, didn't make an "effort" til i was 10). I don't mind that it's rude because he deserves all that and more. But i was just curious if i should or not. I don't usually bring him up unless i'm already upset about something to do with moms bf, or mom."

    You have a lot of anger towards your family.  Lots of brides have crazy families and they learn to have relationships with them, or not.  My own family makes yours look like the Cleavers.   Behaving rudely towards someone is not acceptable on your part.

    Please check into counseling.  Your anger is going to destroy you if you don't get help.  Marriage will not solve these problems for you.
    How do you know that? Do you personally know her family members?

    Maybe her family members make yours look like the Cleavers.
    The OP has described the issues she has with her family.  They are not that unusual.  Mine are, at least I hope so.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    MesmrEwe
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    Jen4948 said:
    CMGragain said:
    "CMGragain bio dad lives in houston (we're in chicago), and also has done this same situation where he promised money (that I was hoping to use for school books), and didn't follow through, but coincidentally bought a new motorcycle after i asked. I have him blocked on fb because of that, and also because I never wanted him in my life to begin with (long story; deadbeat, didn't make an "effort" til i was 10). I don't mind that it's rude because he deserves all that and more. But i was just curious if i should or not. I don't usually bring him up unless i'm already upset about something to do with moms bf, or mom."

    You have a lot of anger towards your family.  Lots of brides have crazy families and they learn to have relationships with them, or not.  My own family makes yours look like the Cleavers.   Behaving rudely towards someone is not acceptable on your part.

    Please check into counseling.  Your anger is going to destroy you if you don't get help.  Marriage will not solve these problems for you.
    How do you know that? Do you personally know her family members?

    Maybe her family members make yours look like the Cleavers.
    The OP has described the issues she has with her family.  They are not that unusual.  Mine are, at least I hope so.
    Except that you don't know whether the issues she described here are the only ones she has with her family, so your sense of what they're like on a day-to-day basis is based on incomplete information. There may be a lot more that she hasn't discussed.

    They may have unusual issues beyond what she described here.

    But you were very quick to immediately compare it to your family and to adopt a dismissive attitude. You do that a lot.

    By the way, based on what you've posted about your family, the issues are average and not unusual. Lots of people have bad family situations.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Water in face and alarm clock sounding.
  • @MobKaz  we're not having an attendant for photo booth since it's a DIY booth, the kids that are invited are all old enough to know common courtesy in regards to waiting their turn. we don't have little little kids except FI niece and nephews but if they get out of hand their parents take them home, and thats not my decision thats just how FI's siblings are with their kids. 

    children do not get to sit at our table, its not even an option. if fmil doesnt want them at the table w her (not that they really get a say in anything at all), then the kids get a table off to the side somewhere.
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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @MobKaz  we're not having an attendant for photo booth since it's a DIY booth, the kids that are invited are all old enough to know common courtesy in regards to waiting their turn. we don't have little little kids except FI niece and nephews but if they get out of hand their parents take them home, and thats not my decision thats just how FI's siblings are with their kids. 

    children do not get to sit at our table, its not even an option. if fmil doesnt want them at the table w her (not that they really get a say in anything at all), then the kids get a table off to the side somewhere.
    Your answer confuses me.  You said, "we were thinking of kids table, but not really sure how well that would go with a table of unattended children.   If these kids cannot sit for a meal unattended, how do they suddenly become capable of roaming a reception without supervision? 



    InLoveInQueensOliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • these kids aren't very young, i think the youngest child there will be 4? my cousins will be able to watch their siblings and same for FI niece and nephews. they do it all the time, bc my family doesn't have idiots for children that are disobedient. 
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  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Ironring said:
    Ummm, four year olds aren't disobedient because they are "idiots". It's because they are four. Even if they are very good kids they will likely have a lot of energy and be really excited. Combine music, lots of people, some cousins/friends, maybe some pop or other dessert and even the most well behaved four year is going to be a bit crazy. 
    I have one of the best behaved children ever and when he gets with his cousin all good behavior flies out the window. There was one Christmas that they were flicking peas at each other. It wasn't normal behavior for any of them because they feed off each other. This was when he was in his teens! So totally agree with you Ironring.
    InLoveInQueensSTARMOON44Heffalump
  • I remember that on a HS field trip, the 15 you boys couldn't be trusted to not make a mess at their tables in a NYC restaurant.   Kids need a grown up at the table.   
    PrettyGirlLost
  • banana468 said:
    I remember that on a HS field trip, the 15 you boys couldn't be trusted to not make a mess at their tables in a NYC restaurant.   Kids need a grown up at the table.  


    SITB


    But my vision! 
    charlotte989875OliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • As a parent, the only time I'm OK with a kids table is when it's something like Easter dinner and the kids table comes up to my knee and all the parents are seated at an arm's reach.   
  • these kids aren't very young, i think the youngest child there will be 4? my cousins will be able to watch their siblings and same for FI niece and nephews. they do it all the time, bc my family doesn't have idiots for children that are disobedient. 
    Do you plan on paying the siblings for babysitting at your wedding? I am 10 years older than my baby brothers, I picked them up from school everyday, made them dinner while my mom went to school and worked full time, spent most of my free time watching them. There is no way in hell I would have chaporoned them at your wedding unless you paid me. That's what their parents are for.
    DrillSergeantCatSP29zitiqueen
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