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Role of the Wedding Planner/Unresponsive Wedding Planner

Knottie78652792Knottie78652792 member
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in Wedding Woes
My wedding is October 8th of this year. I hired my wedding planner in December of last year. We've met with her a total of two or three times I think. All she has really done for us is help budget everything and be realistic about cost. She has given us lists of vendors to contact about different things like DJ's, Cake Bakers etc.

Perhaps I'm a bit "jaded" by the movies or something, but I always thought that the wedding planner was supposed to contact the DJ and what not for you. I could be wrong about this but I'm really not sure lol. So I was wondering, what is the role of the wedding planner in all of this? I understand that there are various aspects to what they do and they are different from one planner to the next. I'm just curious I guess about some experiences anyone else has had.

My other question is, is that my wedding is under 3 months away and I have not heard from my wedding planner. I wanted to set up a time to meet with her and make sure everything is still going according to plan and to make sure I'm not leaving anything out. I sent he a message at the end of June and never heard back from her. So I called her a few days later and she returned my phone call but said she was in a drive thru and could not get to her appointment book, but she would text me with a date and time of when we could meet (her words on the phone were "oh you're my October bride! Didn't you text me a few days ago? She acknowledged that she got my text but did not feel the need to respond). She never text me. So we sent her an e-mail (I've communicated with her through e-mail before about setting up times to meet) and it has been a week and she still has not written back. I understand that she has other brides and if she feels that there is nothing we need to address right now, then I would like for her to just tell me. Is this normal for her to not get back with me since my wedding is still a little over two months away?

She is supposed to be making all of my center pieces and decorating my venue and reception, but I have no clue what any of it is supposed to look like. Am I just being a worry wart???? Some please give me some advice if you can! Anything is appreciated! (Sorry this is so lengthy!)
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Re: Role of the Wedding Planner/Unresponsive Wedding Planner

  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    charlotte989875 said:
    Knottie78652792 said:


    What were your expectations and agreed upon roles when you hired her and what's in your contract?
    That was my first question, after reading all this.  I do a lot of project management, and in my experience, situations like these are either due to a) people not understanding what they are responsible for, due to a lack of clear communication, or b) being lazy slackers.  And TBH, 90+% of the time, it's the former.

    The contract should spell her responsibilities very clearly.  If so, then your job is easy:  just remind her of what she signed on for, and have a cordial but direct conversation about timelines for completion.

    If your contract is not as clear, then you two are going to need a more involved conversation where you present your list of wishes, she reviews them and lets you know what she can do and when, and you two work it out.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Agree with PPs. You need to establish what exactly the expectations are. Have you done things for your wedding, or are you waiting on her? What is left to do? Honestly, I'd be getting a little nervous at this point, but I do tend to worry prematurely, so I may be in the minority.  
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Knottie78652792Knottie78652792 member
    First Comment
    Her contract with me is very vague. We have talked about her decorating for the reception and the ceremony and that we will use her decorations (she has a large area where she stores all of her decorations and you just rent them from her and then give them back vs being left with a ton of glass votives that you don't have a use for). She is also supposed to make the center pieces, aisle decorations, boutonnieres, and clean up the ceremony and reception areas. But as far as what any of the decor will look like, I have no clue. That was why I've been trying so hard to get in touch with her. My cake baker is asking what time my planner is supposed to get to the reception hall so she can get in to deliver the cake and help set it up, but I don't know what to tell her because I haven't been able to meet with my wedding planner.
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree, you need to communicate with her. So if the contract doesn't outline that she is suppose to make appointments for you, you need to be doing that yourself. DD's planner made appointments for catering and flowers, DD already had a DJ in mind and a venue. Responsibilities will vary based on what you agreed upon. The lack of response would really bother me. I would let her know when you want to meet (give her a few different times/dates). If she doesn't respond go over her head if she is part of a planning company. If she is a solo vendor, tell her if you don't hear back from her by such and such a date, you will have to find someone else.
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  • SaintPaulGalSaintPaulGal member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    That's a tough situation.  Honestly, it sounds like there is blame to go around on both sides.  

    When you are hiring someone to do a job for you, it is extremely important to nail down exactly what it is your money will be buying you.  The time to figure this out/nip problems in the bud was back in December when you hired this woman.  If you expected her to book all your vendors for you and she just handed you a list and considered her work to be done, why didn't you say something then?  That would have been the perfect time to get on the same page; if she didn't offer those services you would have had plenty of time to find someone who did.  But just going with it and thinking to yourself "isn't she supposed to..." isn't going to get you anywhere.  And honestly, I cannot fathom how someone hires a professional to do decor without having any idea what that actually entails.  What if her "centerpieces" are one tealight per table?  How is this not something you discussed ahead of time?

    However, she is completely in the wrong to be ignoring you like this.  It's not remotely unreasonable to expect her to answer you within a couple of business days of you reaching out.  If you are expecting more hands-on services than what she provides, she needs to be upfront with you about that NOW rather than letting things fester.
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  • crowsgirl15crowsgirl15 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Knottie78652792 said:
    Her contract with me is very vague. We have talked about her decorating for the reception and the ceremony and that we will use her decorations (she has a large area where she stores all of her decorations and you just rent them from her and then give them back vs being left with a ton of glass votives that you don't have a use for). She is also supposed to make the center pieces, aisle decorations, boutonnieres, and clean up the ceremony and reception areas. But as far as what any of the decor will look like, I have no clue. That was why I've been trying so hard to get in touch with her. My cake baker is asking what time my planner is supposed to get to the reception hall so she can get in to deliver the cake and help set it up, but I don't know what to tell her because I haven't been able to meet with my wedding planner.
    I'm confused by this...did you sign a contract with her? Or is this all just from a conversation with her. If you did sign a contract, what exactly does it say?


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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    While it's certainly frustrating, you should only expect her to do explicitly what the contract says.  It's the height of wedding season so for an event planner she's going to take care of what she's contracted to take care this week.  I'd rereview the contract and set a hard time/day for a meeting to discuss what needs to be done and by whom going forward.
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  • ernursejernursej member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'm the contract lady. Contracts prevent all kinds of miscommunication so I think you need to nail down specifics in writing.

    I would recommend that your first order of action is to e-mail her (add a read receipt) requesting an in-person meeting by x date. Ask for a response by y date. Let her know that you are feeling like your expectations are not being met and you would like to discuss.

    Second order of action is for you to create a list of everything that you need clarification on, futher details or to even start discussing. During that meeting, speak about each item and determine who will be responsible for each task and what the due date is.

    Hopefully this helps you get things organized.

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  • princessbuttercup09princessbuttercup09 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would sit down with her ASAP and have a list of things that you will be doing and what you will expect her to be doing. I would write everything you discuss down and then type it up and e-mail it so you both have a record. I would definitely ask to see what your centerpieces will look like!! My planner is handling my decor for me but I have worked a few weddings with her so she  knows my style and what I like.  I would ask your planner for pictures of other weddings she has done so you can see what she does, and tell her what you like.  
    I know that my planner will take care of vendors the day of (making sure they are in the right place at the right time, taking care of the tip, dealing with any mishaps) but I'm the one meeting and planning with the other vendors. This might be her game plan as well. :smiley: Hope this help!
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Even if the terms are vague in the contract - that means enough fault to go around.  This is why you get this stuff specifically in writing! 

    Schedule a meeting ASAP - get everything clarified and go over specific details as it sounds like she's more of a DOC instead of a full event coordinator which it sounds like you need to get clarified...  If she says you're her "October Bride" - that leads me to think that she's a "I planned my friend's/my own wedding and had a great time!"  person doing this for fun, and the fact that she never responded back to you confirms as much.  Someone who runs a business won't leave you hanging for weeks on end. 

    Get those lines of communication opened back up and expectations on equal footing ASAP!

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