I bit more than I could chew, feeling the pressure

anothergirl2

Hi everyone. So I don't post very often, but I've been a regular lurker for a few years now and I really need to vent a little. My wedding is at the end of August, but I have so much I haven't done, and here is the kicker: I'm also taking the MCAT at the beginning of August in order to apply to med school this year, so the pressure is on. 
Due to being focused on this exam, I been neglecting wedding planning, although I have most of the bigger stuff planned. My invites are already printed but haven't gone out yet, and the wedding is 5 weeks away. Most of our guest list is out of state (although it is a smallish wedding and everyone knows the date ). I'm trying to find the time to address them, but can't seem to like them the way they are, and finding inner envelopes has proved a task since I went with squared shaped invitations ugh. 
I also can't find a makeup artist that doesn't need a minimum of 4 people to take my money....and my dress isn't ready yet.
In the middle of all of this I started a new job, and it is not going great. That's actually an understatement; I think I may get fired. I've been making mistakes ( I started a month ago and have done 3 shifts only), and not being able to put in as many hours as they want me to, due to having to study for my test (which they knew about when they hired me). I'm supposed to have a talk with my boss tomorrow about a mistake I made on my last shift, and the sound of his voice on the message was very discouraging...so yeah.
I took the job as a per-diem thing for some extra money, however I feel terrible that I may get fired, and it is stressing me out more than anything else honestly. I thought I could handle it, but it seems that I obviously made a mistake. 
Anywho, I can't sleep and I feel like things are pilling up and falling apart, and I just needed to let it out, thanks for listening. :-(

missfrodo

anothergirl2 said:

Hi everyone. So I don't post very often, but I've been a regular lurker for a few years now and I really need to vent a little. My wedding is at the end of August, but I have so much I haven't done, and here is the kicker: I'm also taking the MCAT at the beginning of August in order to apply to med school this year, so the pressure is on. 
Due to being focused on this exam, I been neglecting wedding planning, although I have most of the bigger stuff planned. My invites are already printed but haven't gone out yet, and the wedding is 5 weeks away. Most of our guest list is out of state (although it is a smallish wedding and everyone knows the date ). I'm trying to find the time to address them, but can't seem to like them the way they are, and finding inner envelopes has proved a task since I went with squared shaped invitations ugh. 
I also can't find a makeup artist that doesn't need a minimum of 4 people to take my money....and my dress isn't ready yet.
In the middle of all of this I started a new job, and it is not going great. That's actually an understatement; I think I may get fired. I've been making mistakes ( I started a month ago and have done 3 shifts only), and not being able to put in as many hours as they want me to, due to having to study for my test (which they knew about when they hired me). I'm supposed to have a talk with my boss tomorrow about a mistake I made on my last shift, and the sound of his voice on the message was very discouraging...so yeah.
I took the job as a per-diem thing for some extra money, however I feel terrible that I may get fired, and it is stressing me out more than anything else honestly. I thought I could handle it, but it seems that I obviously made a mistake. 
Anywho, I can't sleep and I feel like things are pilling up and falling apart, and I just needed to let it out, thanks for listening. :-(

It's totally reasonable for you to feel overwhelmed by all of this.  Is FI helping you out with wedding planning?  I understand if you don't want his help with your dress or makeup, but I'd suggest divvying up the rest of the work with him, if you haven't already.  Set up an excel spreadsheet or a notebook with names and addresses of invitees, and set him to work addressing envelopes--skip the inner envelopes, it sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth.  I didn't use mine; I just addressed the outer envelopes to "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith" or however you do it for families (I forget--I'd have to google it, I know @mrs.conn23 is great at invitations and wording though).  Then get those out ASAP.  As far as makeup, are you okay with doing your own?  If not, maybe reach out to a beauty school and see if a student would do your makeup--they would be less likely to have a minimum # to satisfy, since they don't own a business yet.  Any other wedding concerns, lean on your FI.  It's his wedding, too.  
As for the per-diem job, it sounds like you're just pushing yourself too hard right now.  Maybe it's for the best if it doesn't work out, because it will give you more time and energy to focus on your MCAT.  Once the test is over and the wedding is over, you'll be able to relax more and figure out if a per-diem job is realistic at this time, but it sounds like it's going to be too much for the rest of July and August.  Come here to vent as often as you like, but don't forget to take some time to connect with FI to let him know how overwhelmed you're feeling with everything, if you haven't already.  Wishing you the best. 

STARMOON44

If you don't get over wanting them to be perfect and Mail your invitations immediately you won't be having a wedding at all because no one will be able to come on a weeks notice. Just start putting stamps and addresses on them and get them out. 

charlotte989875

Elope? Just kidding, but really not a bad idea. 

Skip in the inner envelopes, you don't need them. But you do need to send them out ASAP. The other stuff can wait, this shouldn't.l especially with OOT guests. 

As for a MUA; go to Sephora, Ulta, or a stand in a department store, have them teach you how to do your makeup, take videos if you need, but the makeup there and do your own. 

Can you reachedule the MCAT until later in the month? Or for a different month? If you've been taking practice tests you should know roughly where your scores fall, and should be able to narrow down schools. You scores get sent directly, and in most cases you can send in the rest of your application without them.  You need to be focused and prepared for a test like this so if you're not ready you can think about postponing. 

Also, where is your FI? He can address and send envelopes. Remember all you need to get married is each other, witnesses, a marriage license and an officiant. Everything else is extra. Good luck!

kvruns

priority would be getting the invites out - what is the RSVP date on them? They dont have to be perfect, no one will even remember the envelope. Get your FI to help, hell print labels from a spreadsheet who cares

thisismynickname2

Sending wine and a margarita your way.

Seconding the advice above to learn to do your own makeup. My friend was a MUA with Bobbi Brown, so she did my make up in-store and I bought a few of the items to use myself the day of the wedding. 

Definitely divide and conquer the invites with your FI. I also agree no one cares about how the envelope looks and inner envelopes are not necessary. (Don't forget the extra postage for square pieces though.)

As far as the job, well, jobs come and go. Hope for the best, learn from mistakes, but there's always another job eventually. 

Good luck with the MCAT!

Edit- words are hard

anothergirl2

Thanks so much everyone, reading your replies has made me feel a bit better. My fiance is very willing to help, however he has been working insane hours these months because we need the money. We will be working together on the invites. I will definitely send them out this week. The MCAT I cannot postpone it anymore, since the wedding is on the 27 and the score takes a month to be posted. So if I want to apply this cycle I definitely need to do it now. Again thanks for all of your encouraging words, I can't wait to be done with everything :-/

kimmiinthemitten

Ditto PP's about the envelopes.  They're thrown away anyways.  But get them out yesterday.

About the job, it sounds like internal frustration with yourself for not performing well, but it's just a day to day job for extra money.  It's as trivial as your envelopes.  Forgive yourself, focus on everything else you do well.

And take a break!  Drink some wine, get a pedicure, lunch with a girlfriend, anything.  You're overworking yourself and you'd be amazed at how much a break can help rejuvenate you!

SP29

As for make up, go to Sephora. They have 15min makeovers but you can also book a full makeup session if you spend $50 in products.

I got my make up done at the same place I got my hair done. I was the only one to get make up.

Get the invites out ASAP! Don't worry about inner envelopes and you have no time to stress about what they look like. As long as they are accurate.

Do you need to keep this job? If not, maybe it would be best to leave on good terms and think about it again after the wedding.

themosthappy91

Sorry you're going through all this OP- I just wanted to add that honestly if you think you might get fired it might be better to beat them to the punch and quit, explaining that you just took on more than you can handle with this job. I know I've filled out applications for jobs where they ask if you've ever been fired from another job for any reason so I'd hate for getting fired from this job to be a spot on your record when applying for others in the future.

Let us know how your talk with your boss goes, sending good vibes your way!

anothergirl2

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the replies.
My boss said that basically they would fire me unless I was able to work more. So, I spoke with my fiance and we agreed that It would be best if I just quit in good terms instead of being fired (as some of you suggested), since I won't be able to do as much as the job requires until after my test. Unfortunately, taking this job before completing my application was not my brightest hour. 
 Honestly, event though I feel super crappy and disappointed in myself, I also feel a great deal of relief; so hopefully this was the right decision. I will have much more time to dedicate to studying now, and I can use the breaks to finalize the stuff for the wedding. 
Again thank you all for making feel a bit better about this.

monkeysip

All the margaritas and cupcakes for you, my dear.

That is a lot and I totally get being stressed!  Time to forget the small stuff, and focus on the necessary stuff (like inviting people!).  

As for the makeup, I know for so many brides getting your make up professionally done is something you "have to do", but I went to 3 different make up artists and didn't like how I looked after any of them.  I ended up buying just some good product and did my own make up.  I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I thought it looked great.  Most importantly, it looked like me.  I felt like all the MUA were making me into someone else.  Not to be a diss towards MUAs--they can do fabulous work!  But if you're stressed, it may be one of those "I don't really need that" type of things!

kahluakoala

Just print your envelopes or print out labels! Some people on this board think that is 'tacky", but I guarantee it will be a load off your plate and a victimless crime.