Getting married, next week!

ScottishSarah

Well, I can finally say I'm marrying FI next week!

Things I've been grateful for learning, mostly through this forum...

1.  You will never please everyone all of the time, but if you keep your guests comfort at the forefront of your mind, you can't go far wrong.

2.  Always budget for 100% attendance.  I've seen some brides get majorly stressed when they didn't do this, but we ended up with left over money in the wedding pot, which is always a good thing.

3.  So glad I didn't take on too much DIY, it's amazing just how much there is to do in the month before the big day.  

4.  Some people will be flaky with rsvps, we just added them on with the caterers just in case, then stopped stressing about it.  In the greater scheme of things it's a drop in the ocean to pay for a few extra meals for the sake of your sanity. 

5.  You don't really need fancy decore, favours, cars/limos, seat covers, photo booths and lots of additional entertainment to please your guests.  We have lots of food and booze, a kick ass band and a beautiful venue, and I'm sure it will be just fine.

6.  You don't control the weather, God does, and much as he loves you he doesn't give a shit about your vision.  Have a plan B, and be happy with it.  I have rain forecast on my wedding day and I've realised it won't matter at all.   


Would be interested to know what you learned about wedding planning from this site?  Sarah xxx

charlotte989875

Have a great week @ScottishSarah, hope you'll post some pictures of the wedding!

One of the best things the forum reminded me of was that planning a wedding was a perfect time to start setting boundaries about our decisions and our family. In the year since this has been incredibly important in planning holidays and trips so even though it was uncomfortable when I was doing it, the "practice" (for lack of a better term) of setting and maintain boundaries with my mother has paid off. 

ILoveBeachMusic

ScottishSarah said:

Well, I can finally say I'm marrying FI next week!

Things I've been grateful for learning, mostly through this forum...

1.  You will never please everyone all of the time, but if you keep your guests comfort at the forefront of your mind, you can't go far wrong.

2.  Always budget for 100% attendance.  I've seen some brides get majorly stressed when they didn't do this, but we ended up with left over money in the wedding pot, which is always a good thing.

3.  So glad I didn't take on too much DIY, it's amazing just how much there is to do in the month before the big day.  

4.  Some people will be flaky with rsvps, we just added them on with the caterers just in case, then stopped stressing about it.  In the greater scheme of things it's a drop in the ocean to pay for a few extra meals for the sake of your sanity. 

5.  You don't really need fancy decore, favours, cars/limos, seat covers, photo booths and lots of additional entertainment to please your guests.  We have lots of food and booze, a kick ass band and a beautiful venue, and I'm sure it will be just fine.

6.  You don't control the weather, God does, and much as he loves you he doesn't give a shit about your vision.  Have a plan B, and be happy with it.  I have rain forecast on my wedding day and I've realised it won't matter at all.   


Would be interested to know what you learned about wedding planning from this site?  Sarah xxx

Hope the next week goes smoothly! Post pics!

thisismynickname2

Can't wait to see pics! Good luck!!

I think with wedding planning, I had a gut sense of things that were wrong but couldn't put my finger on why I felt certain ways. When we started planning, I was adamant about an evening wedding and no gap because I didn't want to waste people's day. That stemmed from years of attending weddings with gaps--- came here and realized gaps are actually very rude.
I also had a gut sense that two rounds of invites (A list, B list) was stupid, and came here and saw how rude B lists really are. We also ended up way under budget and ended up with a lot more food than planned because we didn't B list, but who cares when you have late night deep dish pizza?

I think being on this site really reinforced how I felt about weddings to begin with, and I was able to get some smaller things cleared up along the way too- I learned how to properly address invites, for example. 

kimmiinthemitten

Etiquette....my family doesn't care and FI's is all over it so I knew I needed a resource and this place has been a day-saver.

Also, I learned that what may not offend me, may offend other people so it's best to plan on the side of caution and not count on people to be like me.

And finally, that there are other people aren't there who don't think it's all about you, who know that napkin colors really don't matter, and that care more about the end result than the party celebrating the moment.

So excited for you @ScottishSarah - can't wait to see pics!  It's in a castle right?!

ernursej

Hope you have a fabulous day

SP29

Exciting! Looking forward to pictures!

holyguacamole79

So excited for you!!!  

ScottishSarah

Yes ladies, I won't have pro pics for a number of weeks but will defiantly get a few iPhone pics to show you!  

emmaaa

Yay! Have fun and congratulations! 

ScottishSarah

So excited for you @ScottishSarah - can't wait to see pics!  It's in a castle right?!

Yep, with the party in a marquee can't wait!

thefanciestbeckler

Congrats @ScottishSarah! Enjoy everything! Can't wait to see pics.

CharmedPam

whoo hoo!  congrats! It sounds amazing!

The best advise I got on here, I got while lurking.  I didn't ask the question but others did and I learned from them.  We had planned a fall 2016 wedding (which we stuck to) in NY, but my company was going to start charging for health benefits.  It had crossed our minds to get married a year before and go on his insurance plan and we went as far as putting a non refundable deposit on a reverend who would perform it for us in IL.

But then you guys pointed me to the right direction, told me (through other knotties) why it was deceitful and I either elope and own it -  or have the wedding we were planning.  So, now I pay monthly for health benefits but I'm not lying to anyone by being married a year before and having a PPD instead of a wedding.  

That was just the biggie, I have learned A LOT more on here as well.  I was in the dark on weddings.

MairePoppy

Good luck Scottish Sarah. Hope your next week is stress free. What I learned is that by the last week, you should forget about all the nit picky things that aren't done and just enjoy the party. 

ScottishSarah

Thanks Marie, if it's not done now, well it's not getting done at all!  

ei34

Happy wedding week @ScottishSarah!  I'm very laid back, so some things (gaps, Honeyfunds) just don't bother me as a guest.  The Knot was super helpful for me, serving as a reminder that just because I'm not bothered doesn't mean it's okay.
And piggybacking off of @charlotte989875, dealing with family dynamics while planning was good training for the compromise between your family and ILs once married.

MCmeow

Exciting! Have fun! I'm sure it'll go awesomely.
What I learned was basically -everything, I didn't know anything. I haven't been to any weddings in my adult life and I'm the first of my friends to get married, so there was no example to turn to. People kept suggesting doing a PPD to make my fiance a citizen and it felt wrong to suggest. We figured out our priorities and realized waiting so our friends and family can be there as we get married is worth it (To us), plus in his situation, marriage won't change anything until he does some other things. So I learned here from lurking that the gut feeling I had was right. 

Also I never liked the "Me me me" wedding culture at all and it's nice knowing exactly what can be seen as rude, unintentionally, and what can easily make someone into a -zilla.