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Random question about death

I'm asking here because I'm not sure who to ask but you ladies seem to have a wealth of information on a lot of different things. I had a close childhood friend that I lost touch with when she moved to a different state. yesterday people began posting on her Facebook wall eulogizing her (she will be missed, so sad she is gone.) I have tried searching her name for an obituary and have found nothing. iIwould like to attend a service for her if there is one.. How long does it usually take for an obituary to be published? A few vague posts have eluded to the fact that "she passed suddenly on Friday". So it has been almost a week. I am not sure what happened but I do know at one point she went to rehab for drugs so it could be related to that. Since I haven't seen her for years I am almost having a hard time accepting that she is really gone. Any ideas on where I can look? She moved to L.A. so I am not sure exactly what county.

Re: Random question about death

  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2016
    Obituaries are usually published within a few days, but the responsibility to publish one is on the family, so it might take longer, or they may choose not to publish one at all.

    Are you able to contact one of these people who are posting about her and ask if there is a service?
    charlotte989875ILoveBeachMusicernursejCMGragain
  • I have contacted a few  people and they are in the dark as well. Her parents aren't on Facebook. perhaps they aren't having a service? 
  • That is so sad.

    Being that she was in LA and it sounds like her parents do not live there?  They may be making arrangements to bring her to her hometown.  That would delay the service a bit.  It's also possible that there will be a private service. 

    Does she have any siblings?  Maybe they are on Facebook?

  • Sorry for your loss.

    It really depends.  I've seen them within the next day.  I've also seen them weeks later.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Her parents are from a neighboring town from where I live and I think they still live there. I know what church they go to (at least did when we were growing up) Would it be weird to contact the church and inquire about possible memorial/funeral?
  • I would try to PM one of the people she was still close with or posting on her wall and see if they know when the service is.

    ILoveBeachMusic
  • As others have said, publishing obituaries are optional and submitted by family.  If the death was sudden and unexpected, or related to an "unnatural" cause of death, some families will opt to deal with the burial privately.  In some of these cases, a memorial celebration may be held in the near future. 

    Unless you are able to contact a family member or close friend directly, it may be hard to glean any additional information. 
  • Have you tried commenting on one of the posts that someone left? I friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago and everything was so sudden that by the time anyone on facebook knew (her family didn't announce the death) she was already cremated. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. 
  • I second asking (in a PM) people on FB. A high school friend of mine committed suicide a couple of years ago. I only saw posts saying that she died without further comment. I PM'd someone and they filled me in on service details.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2016
    Jstump2 said:
    Her parents are from a neighboring town from where I live and I think they still live there. I know what church they go to (at least did when we were growing up) Would it be weird to contact the church and inquire about possible memorial/funeral?
    This is perfectly acceptable.  There may not be services, though.

    When my mother died, people asked about her funeral services.  There were none, except a simple graveside service for family only.  Mama had a past, and she didn't want her exs showing up.  We did have a party to celebrate her memory, which was more in line with my party girl mother.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Check for an obit in the woman's hometown newspaper, rather than LA.

    FB is such a strange place to find out about a death, but it happens. Last year, as plans for a reunion were underway, someone posted "RIP" after a friend's name. We'd exchanged Christmas cards for years, but lost touch. I asked what had happened. And found she'd been in one of the towers during 9/11. Lots of fond memories of her at last week's reunion.
  • Jstump2 said:
    I'm asking here because I'm not sure who to ask but you ladies seem to have a wealth of information on a lot of different things. I had a close childhood friend that I lost touch with when she moved to a different state. yesterday people began posting on her Facebook wall eulogizing her (she will be missed, so sad she is gone.) I have tried searching her name for an obituary and have found nothing. iIwould like to attend a service for her if there is one.. How long does it usually take for an obituary to be published? A few vague posts have eluded to the fact that "she passed suddenly on Friday". So it has been almost a week. I am not sure what happened but I do know at one point she went to rehab for drugs so it could be related to that. Since I haven't seen her for years I am almost having a hard time accepting that she is really gone. Any ideas on where I can look? She moved to L.A. so I am not sure exactly what county.
    L.A. as in Los Angeles, or Louisiana?  If Los Angeles she was probably in Los Angeles county, which is quite large and contains lots of cities/areas.  You could also check Orange County (south of LA) and Ventura (north of LA) counties.  But I agree with PPs that your best bet would probably be to ask someone likely in the know. 



  • Thanks everyone. There was an Obituary that ended up being published a week after her death in the hometown paper. I attended the service for her yesterday. I'm glad I went. I am so heartbroken for her family but they were glad to see me and said it bought back a lot of happy memories.
    SP29ei34OliveOilsMom
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