Wedding Invitations & Paper

Evites

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Re: Evites

  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
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    Are Evites tacky or new age?

    Personally, I find them tacky and impersonal for a wedding.  
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    charlotte989875InLoveInQueensPrettyGirlLost
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
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    For a wedding, I would consider Evites tacky and inappropriate.  There are scores of ways to send a proper invitation inexpensively.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
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    While E-vites are technically etiquette approved, I find them super tacky.  An informal party?  Sure, go ahead.  A formal event like a wedding?  Real invitations, all the way. 


    image
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
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    Since Save the Dates are less formal, would it be OK to send e-vite Save the Dates but printed invitations?
  • There are no rules about Save the Dates.  They haven't been around for very long.
    Invitations should be written or printed on paper.  You can use the inexpensive kits from Hobby Lobby, Michaels or an office supply store like Staples and save money.  I also like to recommend Vistaprint.com.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdomPrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    edited August 2016
    Evites could be used for save-the-dates or an informal wedding-related event like a shower, bachelor/ette party or rehearsal dinner, but for the wedding itself, I'd use paper invitations.
    OurWildKingdom
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
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    PPs have it covered. I like having the actual invitation with me to make sure I have pertinent information - old school I know.
    OurWildKingdom
  • There are two occasions where I wouldn't find evites tacky for a wedding (a paper invite is just so much nicer):
    1. An evite really really suits the couple. They are very minimal, eco conscious, and not traditional in any way. If you asking the question, you probably don't fit into this category since this couple wouldn't care at all if other people thought it was tacky. 

    2. The wedding is very very soon, making ordering and mailing paper invites more tricky time wise. I would say an engagement of one month or less. 
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
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    PPs have it covered. I like having the actual invitation with me to make sure I have pertinent information - old school I know.
    Me too. I also like to have the invitation as a keepsake.
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
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    edited August 2016

    CMGragain said:
    There are no rules about Save the Dates.  They haven't been around for very long.
    Invitations should be written or printed on paper.  You can use the inexpensive kits from Hobby Lobby, Michaels or an office supply store like Staples and save money.  I also like to recommend Vistaprint.com.

    SITB

    I designed ours myself (with *lots* of help from the ladies here), and we're getting them printed at either Staples or FedEx Office. The postage will cost more than the print job.

    CMGragainPrettyGirlLost
  • SP29SP29 member
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    For a wedding, I think evites are tacky. As a STD, shower or bachelorette party invite, sure.

    Your invitation should match the formality of the event. To me, even if a wedding is low key, an evite does not match the formality of a wedding.
    OurWildKingdomCMGragain
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    Ironring said:
    There are two occasions where I wouldn't find evites tacky for a wedding (a paper invite is just so much nicer):
    1. An evite really really suits the couple. They are very minimal, eco conscious, and not traditional in any way. If you asking the question, you probably don't fit into this category since this couple wouldn't care at all if other people thought it was tacky. 

    2. The wedding is very very soon, making ordering and mailing paper invites more tricky time wise. I would say an engagement of one month or less. 
    But invitations are not issued for the couple's sake, the persons honored by them and for whose sake they are issued are the guests. 

    So, for 1. The couple are not thinking of the guests' needs.  Just because an Evite suits the couple does not make it appropriate when it doesn't suit the guests' needs. Most guests aren't "very minimal, eco conscious, and not traditional in any way."

    And for 2. Still doesn't work, because the couple are still prioritizing their own needs over the guests' needs. Just because a wedding is very soon doesn't mean that Evites work better than paper invitations. They need to work the time for printing and mailing invitations into their own schedules rather than trying to shortcut just because it works for them.

    So sorrynotsorry, but neither 1. nor 2. justifies the couple ignoring their guests' needs in favor of their own.
    OurWildKingdomMyNameIsNot
  • @Jen4948, I disagree with your assessment of #1 but wont argue with you there because we can agree that not everyone would view it the same way as me. 

    However, for #2, are you honestly trying to tell me that a couple should change the date of their wedding just because they can't get some paper invites printed and mailed in time? I'm not referring to people who procrastinated, but people who actually have very short engagements. Invitations are meant to provide the guests with information for the wedding....which evites do perfectly well, even if you think it's tacky or doesn't fit the formality of the event. If a couple wants to get married in two weeks, it's ridiculous so say to them "oh sorry, but you have to push that back because otherwise you are short cutting things and need to have print invitations and wait for the mail to send them and then give people enough time to RSVP." I guess if it's really short notice, a phone call to each guest works too, but it still doesn't mean the a paper invitations is "required" provided the guests are given the appropriate information. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    Ironring said:
    @Jen4948, I disagree with your assessment of #1 but wont argue with you there because we can agree that not everyone would view it the same way as me. 

    However, for #2, are you honestly trying to tell me that a couple should change the date of their wedding just because they can't get some paper invites printed and mailed in time? I'm not referring to people who procrastinated, but people who actually have very short engagements. Invitations are meant to provide the guests with information for the wedding....which evites do perfectly well, even if you think it's tacky or doesn't fit the formality of the event. If a couple wants to get married in two weeks, it's ridiculous so say to them "oh sorry, but you have to push that back because otherwise you are short cutting things and need to have print invitations and wait for the mail to send them and then give people enough time to RSVP." I guess if it's really short notice, a phone call to each guest works too, but it still doesn't mean the a paper invitations is "required" provided the guests are given the appropriate information. 
    No, I am not. You are getting worked up and defensive simply because I don't agree with you. But no, I don't think a short period of time between engagement and wedding is a reason not to send paper invitations rather than using Evites. 

    Part of the job of wedding invitations is to convey the actual formality of the wedding along with the logistical information, and I don't think Evites "perfectly well" convey that at all.

    Not to mention, many guests do not have Internet service or even look at Evites, let alone take them seriously or properly RSVP to them even for informal events.

    I am honestly trying to tell that just because a couple is in a hurry to get married and invite people to a wedding within a short period of time, they should still figure out how to send out written invitations within that short period of time.  It is not necessary to have them printed. If they need to cut down their guest list, figure out how to work preparing the invitations into their pre-wedding daily schedule, or otherwise change their wedding plans in order to do that, then that's what they need to do. 
  • Lol, I'm not getting worked up, I'm just picturing telling my friend who had a two week engagement that she had to push it back because she couldn't send paper invitations in time. And it's a funny thought. 

    But we can agree that evites are tacky and not the best way to go. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    She doesn't have to push back her engagement, but she should find some time to prepare paper invitations. She could use her own computer to design and print them, stuff them into envelopes, address and mail them.
  • Jen, we can agree that evites are tacky and not ideal. 
    But you can't convince me that you could "find time" to send paper invitations within a two week engagement when at least several of those days are spent finding the venue and figuring out the guest list. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    edited August 2016
    Ironring said:
    Jen, we can agree that evites are tacky and not ideal. 
    But you can't convince me that you could "find time" to send paper invitations within a two week engagement when at least several of those days are spent finding the venue and figuring out the guest list. 
    Sorry, but you can't convince me that it is impossible to "find time" to send paper invitations even within a two week engagement.  One of those days could be devoted to preparing the paper invitations. It might not even take one full day. 

    There is no requirement that all 14 days have to be devoted to finding the venue and figuring out the guest list. That's just details.
    OurWildKingdom
  • Of course, making and printing invitations doesn't have to take a long time. But the post office isn't exactly the quickest sometimes and could easily eat up at least three-four business days. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    Ironring said:
    Of course, making and printing invitations doesn't have to take a long time. But the post office isn't exactly the quickest sometimes and could easily eat up at least three-four business days. 
    Then the couple need to take some more time out from looking at venues and figuring out their guest list to allow for the three to four business days.  Those are things they have control over. All this "they don't have time" is an excuse.
  • I'm sorry, I know this is beating a dead horse and definitely off the original topic but I'm finding your timing and logistics a bit entertaining. If there is time to actually mail invitations, all you are doing is cutting into the notice time the guests could use to figure out their schedules and decide if they could come or not. I'd rather give people at least a weeks notice via email (or phone) then give them three days notice by mail. Im saying it would be more considerate in this case because they have more heads up. 

    You'd think I was suggesting a cash bar or a long gap by your responses. 
    charlotte989875banana468hellohkb
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    Ironring said:
    I'm sorry, I know this is beating a dead horse and definitely off the original topic but I'm finding your timing and logistics a bit entertaining. If there is time to actually mail invitations, all you are doing is cutting into the notice time the guests could use to figure out their schedules and decide if they could come or not. I'd rather give people at least a weeks notice via email (or phone) then give them three days notice by mail. Im saying it would be more considerate in this case because they have more heads up. 

    You'd think I was suggesting a cash bar or a long gap by your responses. 
    They could give the notice by electronic or other informal means, yes.

    But the actual invitation should be written. That's not the same thing as a notice. The invitation doesn't have to be the only notice the guests get.

    That means that yes, they have to take some time to prepare and send written invitations. I'm not equating your responses to suggestions that they have a cash bar or a long gap.
    OurWildKingdomMairePoppySP29
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
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    I love a good argument about wedding invitations. 

    The op didn't mention anything about time constraints, but if the couple chooses to get married in two weeks time, it's up to them to work out the details. They could get invitations printed at Staples or Kinkos, take them home to address  and pay for overnight postage to get them delivered in three to four days. 

    A wedding warrants a written invitation. I think an e-vite is tacky.
    Unless they're out of state, they should be delivered in 1-2 days with regular postage. So no reason for an e-vite.
  • You guys are hilarious. I agreed it was tacky, I just listed a reason where I didn't think it was a big deal. And by providing the guests with the information about the wedding and how to RSVP, you are still "meeting the guests needs" (agreed that this definitely doesn't apply to people who don't use email/computers all that much). So I really don't see how this is rude. Tacky sure? But rude? We can disagree. And I really don't see the need to keep adamantly defending that this would be a horrible thing to do, under certain circumstances. Now, yes, I know that it is always said to people that "there are no special circumstances and no one is a special snowflake" and I totally agree with that for anything that would actually be rude (gaps, cash bar, whatever). But for something that matters very little to guest comfort? Short timing does affect mail times.

    Also, @DrillSergeantCat, depending on where you are, Canada post can take quite a bit longer than 1-2 days, but that's just a side note. 

    Anyways, it really doesn't matter because all the OP asked for was opinions and I gave mine, like everyone else did. I think we can all agree paper invitations are definitely preferred, anything else about the usage of evites can be a personal opinion. 
    charlotte989875
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
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    @Ironring good point. I forget that not everyone on here lives in the US. 

    My BFF sent e-vites when she got married two years ago. She procrastinated about literally everything wedding related. She had a very short engagement of two months, didn't buy her dress until a month before, didn't order her flowers until the Monday before her Sunday wedding. Her daughter designed her invitations and another friend's father printed them, she just didn't send them. I'm not sure that anyone really gave it a second thought considering how quick the courtship and engagement was.

    So, while it's not encouraged and paper invitations are preferable, it's not rude (IMO) to send e-vites especially if you know that the people you are inviting have internet access. 
  • Since Save the Dates are less formal, would it be OK to send e-vite Save the Dates but printed invitations?
    Not going to say how ok it was, but my cousin sent e-STDs and actual invitations for her black-tie optional pretty freaking formal wedding. I was a bit surprised but it was actually a little easier since I could just click on the link to their wedding website and get all the info that way.
  • To quote Prudie. Is it tacky? Sure, but there are worse things to be.

    I use email everyday. I rarely use mail. Actually, my mailbox is a little out of the way and I have to go out of my way to receive it and I usually only check it every 2-3 days or if I knew I was expecting something. I check my email the moment my phone buzzes. If there was a button to add it to my calendar, hell yes now it's even more convenient. I would not give a flying f*ck about an evite. Apparently this is an UO, and there are many people who would prefer a paper invite, but it's not a horrifying disaster of rudeness.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
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    edited August 2016
    @Ironring, none of us said that electronic means can't be used to communicate the logistical information in an invitation -- just that it shouldn't be the only means of communicating to guests that they're invited to a wedding.

    You might find it "hilarious," but the rest of us don't. We've all experienced things, including guests who are not internet-savvy and/or would not respect non-paper invitations, that make us leery of using Evites by themselves.
    OurWildKingdom
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