I'm home sick and feel like telling a weird story

monkeysip

I'm at home with a cold, and I'm bored.

My wedding was 3 years ago, but a strange event popped into my head this morning, and I thought I'd share.

Overall my wedding was great, but something weird happened.  Our reception was at a restaurant, and part of our space was a big patio.  H and I were outside near one of the stairways for a little bit.  A woman down below called up to us and started telling us that she saw the man that raped her years ago amongst our guests.  Like, he was somewhere at our reception.  She looked dressed up, so I'm guessing she was eating at the restaurant that night.

H and I didn't know what to say, and honestly, I don't even remember what we said to her.  Or if we said anything.  It's all a blur.  We certainly didn't do anything.  I still wonder--should I have done something?  I just thought it was so strange that she would say something to us, instead of the restaurant manager or the police or something.  

We only had 55 guests (plus DJ/photographer/etc.), and about 1/2 were from out of town, so there weren't that many men there that it could've been.  Of course I don't think there's any rapists in our friends/family, but who knows?  

She didn't seem drunk or crazy, but who would tell a bride and groom that?  I'm *hoping* she was drunk or crazy or just mistaken, but it's one of those things I think about from time to time and wonder if I should've done something.  But what?  

Just felt like telling this story.

DrillSergeantCat

Yeah...I think if I saw my rapist, I'd call the police. I'm not sure what you could have done. Apologize and suggest she call the police would be the only thing I could think to do.

charlotte989875

Did she know who he was? Like she knew his name, or was she saying she saw someone in there that raped her and she didn't know his name? Was she asking you to do anything, or just trying to tell you someone you socialize with is allegedly a rapist? So many questions. 

Id like to think I'd do something to help someone, but I don't know what if she wasn't asking you to do anything. 

monkeysip

Again, it's all a blur, but I think she was asking if she could come point him out.  I don't think she actually knew his name.  Either way, sounds like a good time to call the police.

ETA:  I feel really bad thinking maybe she really did see her rapist, but at the time and still now, I just felt like it wasn't appropriate for me to start accusing guests or letting her confront guests.  Such a weird position to be in.  I guess she didn't call the police since I never heard anything about it.  She left a few minutes later and that was it.

short+sassy

That is weird and disconcerting!  I'm so sorry this happened at your reception.  Really, though, I'm not sure what she expected saying something to you all.  As if you all would be taking some random stranger by the hand into your reception...like an Agatha Christie who-dun-it...and proclaim, "Point out your rapist, kind woman!"

Obviously I don't want to be flippant about rape but, either she knew her perpetrator and chose not to contact the police at the time.  Or she didn't know her perpetrator and saw him (or thought she saw him) at your reception.  In the latter case, again, she should have contacted the police.  She chose not to.

I don't think you all did anything wrong or should have done anything.  There's a whole gambit of what could have caused her to say something like that to you all.  She might have had a mental problem.  Or been on drugs (even if it didn't seem like it).  Or perfectly normal and sincere in her assertion, but mistaken (though I still find it weird she would say something to you all).

kimmiinthemitten

No advice and no idea what I've would have done, but I can see why this sits with you and makes you wonder. (hugs)

kvruns

that is strange and I dont know what I would have said or done either. I would think if I saw my rapist I would call the police, not tell the bride and groom, especially not yelling up from the street. So many questions

SP29

That is strange. I agree, why confront the B&G with this possible information, why not call the police or tell a staff member at the restaurant.

There really wasn't anything you could have done, like you said, unless you were going to go around and start accusing all of your guests. Or if she did point him out to you- the answer would still be the same, OK, call the police.

ei34

I would've done exactly what you did at the time. Sorry that you still think of this...I can see why but definitely a drag that that's part of your wedding memory.

CMGragain

Sorry you are sick!  Colds are so frustrating.  I think the English language needs a different word for having "a cold".  It just sound too dismissive.  It should be something like "Monkeysip Syndrome", or "Contagious Infectious Sinus Disease".  When I was a public school music teacher, I got them constantly!  Ugh!
Try hot tea with lemon, read a good book, and get lots of sleep.  I hope you feel better soon.

monkeysip

Thanks, CMGragain.  I'm a teacher too, so I might have caught this from work, who knows.  I actually don't feel that bad, but H and DD are both sick too, so I'm home helping them.  

drglitter

That is a super weird story. I wouldn't have done anything differently than you did. I'd probably still wonder about it too. Maybe she realized she was wrong and that's why it was never addressed. I hope you feel better soon.

CMGragain

monkeysip said:

Thanks, CMGragain.  I'm a teacher too, so I might have caught this from work, who knows.  I actually don't feel that bad, but H and DD are both sick too, so I'm home helping them.  

That's even worse!  Nothing like a sick DH to make your day miserable!  Mine refuses to admit he is sick, but stomps around the house snarling and complaining.  I wish he would just go to bed and leave me alone.

DrillSergeantCat

I am currently an incubus of viral plague aka I have a cold. 

short+sassy

I had an insanely bad cold the first week of this year.  Like 10X worse than any other cold I've ever had.  I was out of work for a week and needed to see a doctor.  She called it a "respiratory infection" .  I don't know if all colds are respiratory infections, but I appreciated the more serious sounding name.

DrillSergeantCat

short+sassy said:

I had an insanely bad cold the first week of this year.  Like 10X worse than any other cold I've ever had.  I was out of work for a week and needed to see a doctor.  She called it a "respiratory infection" .  I don't know if all colds are respiratory infections, but I appreciated the more serious sounding name.

Basically yes, but it can be bacterial and treated with antibiotics or viral and we suffer through. 

AddieCake

How odd. She definitely should have called the police if she believed she saw him.

short+sassy

DrillSergeantCat said:

short+sassy said:

I had an insanely bad cold the first week of this year.  Like 10X worse than any other cold I've ever had.  I was out of work for a week and needed to see a doctor.  She called it a "respiratory infection" .  I don't know if all colds are respiratory infections, but I appreciated the more serious sounding name.

Basically yes, but it can be bacterial and treated with antibiotics or viral and we suffer through. 

Yes!  I remember that now.  She said she had no way of knowing if it was bacterial or viral but, since I also had an ear infection, I was prescribed an antibiotic anyway.  Alas, I suspect it was viral.  I started taking the antibiotic early on in my illness and, it helped the ear infection, but didn't seem to do anything for the cold.