I have, as usual, rather frustrating FILs. When FH and I first got engaged, they congratulated us, but then his mother called to say they couldn't come to our engagement do because she couldn't afford a new dress. They are not wealthy, so we didn't expect any monetary help from them. My parents are footing the bill for the reception. When we created the guest list for the wedding (we very very carefully set our parameters for who to invite- cousins only got invited if we exchange Christmas gifts; no ring no bring; etc), they were really cruel about who we invited, throwing things out like "well I bet SHE invited all of her cousins" or "of course HER sister gets to bring her boyfriend" (neither of which is true). This is the only input that they have given as far as anything in the wedding goes. They haven't offered to help stuffing envelopes, or asked if there was anything they could do. I wasn't terribly shocked by this, just based on their personalities, but they have now invited people to the wedding shower that my sisters are hosting who aren't invited to the wedding (and didn't ask my sisters). She also told my sisters that many people can't make that date, so they should change it.
After this whole debacle, FH told me that the reason she has been difficult is because she feels uninvolved. While I can understand where she's coming from (my mother is my best friend along with the host of the wedding, so we have done basically everything as either just us two or with my parents). I'm torn here, because I want to do the right thing by my fiance, but after being so rude to my sisters and to us, I don't really want to involve her. I would rather her just stay out of things. I feel like she has waited for us to get everything done, and then whined that she didn't get to help (when she didn't really want to to begin with).