The 5 Love Languages

kahluakoala

I'm not usually one to prescribe to this, but I think the 5 love languages are really great and really help me put a lot of relationship problems into context.

For background: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

The 5 love languages sum up how different people give and receive love in their life. For example, for some people receiving gifts is very important - and it's not necessarily selfish or materialistic, just the physical act of receiving something that shows their SO was thinking of them is very important. For others, it's having their SO say "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" that really makes it hit home.

I'm an acts of service girl. I melt to a million pieces when my SO cleans the house because he knows I'm stressed, or parks far away so I can have the close parking spot if I'm having a busy week, or cooks me dinner. He's a big physical touch guy. He needs to hug or cuddle or sleep close - it's very important to him. Understanding that has helped me understand how to comfort him a lot better. 

So what about you? What's your love language? Your SOs?

OurWildKingdom

I need to reread this book!

ShesSoCold

H and I recently took the quiz and we're both pretty much exactly what we thought we'd be. I was words of affirmation first, then acts of service, quality time and then physical touch and gifts were way at the bottom. H was almost opposite - touch, time, gifts, words and acts.

I've been trying to keep in mind how important gifts are to him - both giving and receiving. I'm almost too practical and very rarely give gifts to anyone, really. But it's important to H so I try to find things I can get for him or understand that buying gifts isn't a waste of money.

Jells2dot0

H is physical touch and words of affirmation. I'm quality time and receiving gifts. We really have to work at it, honestly.

WinstonsGirl

If I remember, I'm the acts of service thing, and DH is physical touch.  I didn't even need the quiz to peg him on that one.  

MissKittyDanger

I've gotta get my H to do this but mine
tied - acts of service/words of affirmation
physical touch
quality time
receiving gifts


Not even surprised actually

KeptInStitches

I'm tied gifts and acts of service. He's physical touch and quality time.

SP29

I need to read this book. I've heard many good things about it.

ei34

I tied for acts of service and words of affirmation (the latter a tiny problem since DH is the strong silent type).  DH had quality time first.  All things we can work on.
We both finished the inventory in less than 5 minutes...did anyone else take the 15 they'd said you need?? If so maybe we took it wrong 

ernursej

I was highest in physical touch and second/third were tied for acts and quality time, fourth was words and last was physical gifts. I'm interested to see what FI is.

I only took 2 minutes ...

tigerlily6

DH and I were introduced to the 5 Love Languages during our pre-marriage program through our church, and we both had huge "Aha!" moments -- despite having dated for 6 years before then, it gave some good insights and really helped illustrate how we both can feel like we're communicating affection to one another and totally miss the mark. Taking the quiz has been very helpful!

I'm tied with words of affirmation/ physical touch, then quality time, then acts of service, then gift giving. 

DH is dominant acts of service, then receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and last is physical touch.

Essentially, we're more or less reverse from one another, haha. I've basically learned that I need to go out of my way to do things and give little things to him, and he's tried to be a lot better about cuddling and vocalizing affection. 

kvruns

I am Words and Gifts, he is Acts of Service. So I've made a better effort to make sure I do Acts of Service to show appreciation and praise him for the ones he does. Unfortunately his assessment of my love languages when we did it a couple years ago was that I'm needy and need presents and praise - so it didn't go so well even though I explained to him what those categories meant for me

thestaircase

Well, I think my husband love language is Physical Touch; well, more like Physical Kiss, lol.. here some examples of why I think Kiss is his love language.

ugh.. this is an embarrassing one:
------ My husband he likes to kiss my butt cheek whenever we in bed together. He kiss it everyday.. Naked or clothed, underwear or short on, he still likes to kiss it. He do it every chance he gets, lol
I have the bad habit of sleeping on my stomach. And I lay in bed on my stomach sometimes playing on my laptop/phone. Or just lay in bed on my stomach.. Whenever he see me lay on my stomach, he would kiss my butt cheek. Or simply as when he walk in the bedroom and see me laying flat on my stomach.
To me it just sooo awkward! I told him it embarrassing. But he said he have nothing to be embarrassed about that he kiss his "wife" butt cheek, that his reasoning.

We got married 18 months ago, and he still do what he do.
He still give me the reasoning that he have nothing to be embarrassed about that he kiss his 'wife' butt cheek.. I just dunno how to response back to him when he give a reasoning like that.

He very respectful. He doesn't bite, doesn't slap, doesn't gropes, doesn't spank my butt, not even a light spank.
He just simply put his lips on my butt cheek and kiss it, a gentle slow kiss type.
...when I get dress, sometimes I look at my butt in the mirror and I keep wondering why he likes to kiss it? Is there something wrong with my butt? lol

It random kisses, he do it randomly. When he around don't let him see my butt, or else I know exactly what he gonna do, lol
ugh.. at our age we not young anymore; I'm 31 and he 30, it kindda embarrassing.
But I know this is his way of show affection. So I do try to adapt to "his" way of affection, I let him do it.. I giggles. I giggles and sometimes give him a hug. He was sooo happy that I enjoy it and that I appreciate his kiss.

I know some men are into breast, some men are into butt. I guess I married a guy that into the butt part.. I dunno, he just fixated the area where my butt, my tummy, and my inner thigh is.
He does kiss my breast too, alot alot of times.. But it just that he fixated kiss more further down--where my butt, my tummy and my inner thigh is; he just fixated on those areas more, lol


------ If he gets in bed and see me sitting instead of laying down, he kiss my shoulders. If he see me laying flat on my stomach, he kiss my butt cheek. He weird right? lol

And he always give me when he comes home from work.
He not often give me a kiss before he go to work, but he always give me a kiss when he gets home.
He work long hours (he work 12 hours a day), perhaps he miss home.. When he comes home from work he always give me a kiss--it one of the first thing he do when he gets home from work. I never get a quick peck from him. It always the Lingering deep kiss, the full kiss lips to lips mouth to mouth kiss.

Regardless of where he kiss on my body--his kiss it never the quick peck type; but he kiss like he taste your body type of thing.. Like he taking his sweet time, lol.. he weird right?


------ Anyways, another example: I'm not even pregnant yet and he already kiss my stomach.. No, he doesn't kiss it everyday but 2-3 times a week usually on weekend, lol
He said when I'm pregnant, he wants me to let him kiss my stomach EVERYDAY for 9 Months until the baby born.. He so corny right?
When he watching News; sometimes he lays his head on my lap, and he would kiss my tummy. (I'm 4'11" petite short height plump and rounded body, and I have a chubby stomach).
I giggles and tell him that there no baby in there yet.. But he said he wants to, and likes to kiss my stomach; baby there or not.

(He really really want a baby to complete our little family. But I'm not ready yet, I said we TTC in 2017. He said he will wait for me til I'm ready).
I'm very careful with take my BCP. I said that he knows I'm not pregnant right? And asked why he likes to kiss my tummy when there no baby in there? I asked silly question like that, lol
He thinks I'm silly. He said he knows I'm not pregnant, but he still want to kiss my stomach; baby there or not.
He slowly put his lips on your tummy and kiss it, gentle slow kiss type. Same like how he kiss my butt cheek.

ugh.. I have a chubby tummy. I always have been the plump and rounded body type girl. And I'm short, I'm only 4 feet 11 inches.
I'm not even pregnant; and I already have few stretch marks on my stomach, and some stretch marks on each of my thighs. Not alot, but for sure I have some on my stomach and thighs.
My husband saw all my stretch marks. He doesn't mind my chubby stomach, doesn't mind my stretch marks; he still kiss my tummy. And my tummy if not flat at all, it chubby.
He doesn't mind kiss my stretch marks, he kiss my lower belly and that is where my stretch marks at. He kiss my thighs and I have stretch marks on my thighs too.

I'm grateful that he loves me wholely; including love my plump and rounded body, and my chubby tummy with stretch marks..
It just that sometimes I feel kindda bad, I mean I'm not pregnant yet and I already have stretch marks on my stomach--after pregnant I know I'll be getting alot more stretch marks than the ones I already have now.


------------------
My husband really want a baby to complete out little family. He would be THRILLED if I got pregnant while on the pills. Even if it just an Oops baby, he still would be sooo happy.
I do want a baby with him. It just that right now I'm not ready yet.. He been waiting patiencely for me to give him a baby.
I'm just not ready yet. I'm very very careful with take the BCP. I take my BCP exactly on time everyday, I even set my phone alarm to remind myself daily. So far no Oops yet, I want to keep it this way till I'm ready.. I need to work on my emotional childhood baggage (my mother abusive to me throughout my whole childhood). I really need to work on my emotionaly childhood baggage first before I bring a baby to this world.

Anyways there more to the list of the corny things my husband do; but I think the examples above enough that he is corny, and perhaps he 'not very normal', lol
I been trying to get my point across that my husband is not very normal. It not just only kiss, but it also alot alot of things that he do for me..
There is a long list of complains of the 'not very normal' things my husband do, (I posted it on another forum that I been a member posting on for almost 2 years).. And the ladies in that forum look at me like I have two heads, lol

The ladies there said he a bit corny, yes. But he very sweet. And he is Normal! They said just because he likes to kiss you everywhere, he wants to kiss you everywhere that doesn't make him abnormal.
They said accept that my husband loves me. He's not abnormal. He just loves you. He just a simple man who loves and adores his wife.. Stop calling him 'not normal'. He's not like other men because he is not other men. He is who he is, he just himself, he is he.
He's not abnormal. He's not like other people's husband because he is not other people husband. He is my husband.

Welp, whether he normal or not; he is my husband--I married him. (Past or present) he treats me really really well.. The ladies there told me to stop complaining; accept him for who he is, including his quirks/his corny ways. And stop complaining, stop say he not normal. He is normal!

ILoveBeachMusic

Oh good Lord!

OurWildKingdom

Acts of Service and Physical Touch were tied for me. Gifts didn't register at all. 

I'll ask FW to take the test.

ILoveBeachMusic

Physical touch and words of affirmation were my top two. Now to get H to take this!