Attire & Accessories Forum

Help with groomsmen attire!

So I am not really sure what to do with my groomsmen right now. My wedding is in January and I was originally thinking navy suit/tux with brown shoes and brown belt. My girls are wearing a burgundy/red dress, and my dress is a has light ivory lace and champagne undertones. My mom just bought her dress and it is mostly black but has gold at the top, and it's gorgeous! But now, we are thinking my dad should be in a black tux too so they can match, and the pastor/father of the groom with be in black too. So should the groomsmen be in black too?!? or maybe just do navy with black shoes instead of brown? I feel like it will look weird in pictures to have red, champagne, black, navy, and brown all happening at once. 

And the wedding will be in a pretty traditional church, so I'm just not sure what to do!!

Also, I keep going back and forth between tux or suit?! 

Re: Help with groomsmen attire!

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your father does not have to match the groomsmen. All the colors except the burgundy are neutrals so it really isn't that big of a deal. If you want to do black shoes/belt instead of brown fine. If not, brown will look fine too. What time of day is your wedding. Technically a tux isn't suppose to be worn until after 6 but that rule is broken all the time. Personally, I think a suit that the GMs can wear again would be best. You have asked them for their budgets, right?
    Knottie1456075002ernursejemmaaa
  • Your father does not have to match the groomsmen. All the colors except the burgundy are neutrals so it really isn't that big of a deal. If you want to do black shoes/belt instead of brown fine. If not, brown will look fine too. What time of day is your wedding. Technically a tux isn't suppose to be worn until after 6 but that rule is broken all the time. Personally, I think a suit that the GMs can wear again would be best. You have asked them for their budgets, right?


    All of this!!!

    Does you FI have any ideas...he is really the one who should be determining this, asking them for their budgets (privately and separately) and has the ultimate say.

    With that in mind I think that Black is the easiest suit color (most common in my circle of friends) and then Navy to find and use.  I'm not a huge tux fan in general and many box stores have suits you can buy (if they guys don't already own one) for less than a tux rental around my area.

    Remember you can tie everyone together using the bouquets and boutonnieres and ties as well.  (Provided by you guys not as a gift of course!)

    Some ideas.

    Guys in a "Mid to dark gray"

    Guys in black suits...

    and guys in navy suits with brown and black shoes (Gasp the horrors of not perfectly matched shoes!)...

    Knottie1456075002SP29
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2016
    The etiquette rule is as follows:
    1.  Tuxedos are only worn for evening events.  Tuxedos are black.  They are usually rented.
    2.  The groomsmen match the groom in the level of formality, so if the groom wears a tuxedo, so do the groomsmen.
    3.  Suits can be blue, grey, charcoal, black.  They are worn any time of day and for any weddings, including formal ones.  If a groomsman needs to buy a suit, it will be useful for future occasions. (Try Kohls, Penneys, or Mens Wearhouse.)  The suits do not need to match in color or cut.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Knottie1456075002SP29
  • Thank you guys so much!!! I did not realize that a tux should only be past 6...no one has told me that! The wedding will be at 4. 

    I've thought about letting the guys buy a suit so that they can keep it. And I love those picture ideas. My mother in law hates the idea of brown shoes, so I think she would hate the idea even more of mismatched shoes lol. 

    And my mom seems adamant to put my dad in a tux, but would that be odd if he wore a tux when it's an earlier wedding? 
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2016
    In the old days, dress shoes were always black.  Your FMIL probably learned that.  Brown shoes are not worn with tuxedos.
    Here is a great website that explains men's dress codes.  You can show it to your Mom, if it helps.  http://www.blacktieguide.com/Etiquette/Etiquette_Intro.htm  This is a huge website with tons of information.  Be sure and check out the "Weddings" section.

    Are tuxedos ever worn in the daytime?  Unfortunately, yes, but it isn't really correct.

    The main physical difference between a tuxedo and a black suit is that tuxedos have satin lapels on the jacket and a satin stripe down the side of the pants.  The look is quite similar.  When I posted a photo of my daughter's daytime wedding a few years ago, I received several PMs from brides who wanted to know where they got the "tuxedos".  They weren't tuxedos - just two piece black suits.

    Edit:  I am having trouble getting this website to come up from my post.  Try Googling "black tie guide" if you have the same trouble.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Knottie1456075002
  • mollybarker11mollybarker11 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited September 2016
    I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).


    Anyway, I do not think black, brown, navy, burgundy, and champagne would look weird in the photos. Those are all nice colours, none of them clash to my eye.

    Just a reminder that you do not choose your father's attire. And you & your fiancé must select the groomsmen's attire based on the lowest budget provided when you ask them. Unless you're paying for it yourselves.
    SP29
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited September 2016
    I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).


    Anyway, I do not think black, brown, navy, burgundy, and champagne would look weird in the photos. Those are all nice colours, none of them clash to my eye.

    Just a reminder that you do not choose your father's attire. And you & your fiancé must select the groomsmen's attire based on the lowest budget provided when you ask them. Unless you're paying for it yourselves.

    Just because you see it done does not make it proper.  This rule of groomsmen matching in formality has been in place for two hundred years.  Tuxedos have only been acceptable at weddings since the 1960s.  Black tie was considered too informal for a wedding before that time.

    The bride's father does whose his own attire.  However, he should be aware if he will be the only man present in a tuxedo.  This might make him feel awkward.

    If a groomsman does not own a two piece suit, he should!  They are availble for less than the rental of a tuxedo in stores like Kohl's, Penneys, even Men's Wearhouse.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).
    Just because you see it done does not make it proper.  This rule of groomsmen matching in formality has been in place for two hundred years.
    Is there no rule about bridesmaids matching the bride in formality? Genuine question - I've never seen anyone comment on the cocktail dress/gown mismatch but I've seen the suit/tux mismatch discouraged here & on other sites and always found it odd.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited September 2016
    CMGragain said:
    I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).
    Just because you see it done does not make it proper.  This rule of groomsmen matching in formality has been in place for two hundred years.
    Is there no rule about bridesmaids matching the bride in formality? Genuine question - I've never seen anyone comment on the cocktail dress/gown mismatch but I've seen the suit/tux mismatch discouraged here & on other sites and always found it odd.
    There used to be, but it pretty much ended in the 1970s.  Less formal wedding dresses were floor length muslin and venise lace - the hippie movement.  Tuxedos were pastel colored polyester.  Not the greatest moment in fashion.
    Only recently have shorter wedding dresses become popular again.  Happy to see this trend towards less formal weddings.

    Generally, the bride's dress sets the level of formality for both the bridesmaids and the groom and groomsmen, but I have seen formal strapless ballgowns on the bride with groom and groomsmen dressed in vests without jackets.  (Ugh!)  It is done, but that doesn't make it proper.

    Hey, I've been watching Downton Abbey reruns all weekend!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    mollybarker11SP29
  • It is proper to wear whatever you want to your wedding. Same goes with the wedding party. So long as they are on board and comfortable with the choice, go nuts. This has zero impact on your guests. 

    The only thing I'd say is give the guys some flexibility - e.g general direction of 'navy suit, brown shoes'(or whatever you go for) so that they can buy or rent as suits their individual circumstances best. They don't have to have the exact same suit.
                 
    mollybarker11ernursejgeebee908FallBride2017
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