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Destination Weddings Discussions
Distinctive Weddings in Italy - Anyone used them? Newbie needs help with wedding in Italy.
Hello! My fiance and are going to get married in Italy in May 2018! I am just starting to get my arms around where to start with a destination wedding. We've had some email convos with Distinctive Weddings - does anyone have feedback? As I said, we haven't committed to anything and just started the process. Any advice is much appreciated from big to small about your Italy wedding experiences and what to and not to do! Thanks!
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Re: Distinctive Weddings in Italy - Anyone used them? Newbie needs help with wedding in Italy.
If this company tells you anything different, I'd be suspicious of using them.
http://italy.usembassy.gov/acs/marriage/general-marriage.html
I can't really comment on an Italy wedding, but I was in your shoes a few years back. Second marriage for both and travel frequently! We put together a spreadsheet of all of the destinations that intrigued us. Some we had been to before (Italy, Hawaii, Mauritius, Seychelles, Tahiti, Fiji) others had been on the list for awhile (Australia, Cook Islands, Malaysia, Maldives). After we made our list, we started researching the requirements. We had "pros" and "cons" columns to help weigh the destinations (ex: weather concerns due to the time of year we wanted to marry, needing a separate legal ceremony, etc) and we also had a notes column to capture the info we found. After we gathered all of the data, we started eliminating. We nixed Malaysia due to residency requirements and the Maldives due to needing a legal ceremony back home. In Italy, we looked into marrying at Villa d'Este. We had stayed there on a previous trip. However, just a basic wedding package was way more expensive than any other destination. As CMGr referenced, the process was not easy as well. Plus, we knew we wanted to honeymoon at a beach destination. We nixed a lot of destinations simply because we decided we wanted to go somewhere new.
We ultimately ended up choosing Australia. The Cook Islands were a close second. The requirements were easy (certified copies of birth certs, passports, divorce decrees, and a completed form), there was no residency requirement, we could have a private ceremony at the resort we chose, and we were already at the beach for our HM!
I recommend just making a list and start doing research from there.
Regardless of that fact, you will be asking friends and family to spend thousands of dollars to watch you and your fiance pretend to get married.
But since people here like to be helpful, they went to the next option: providing information on your general situation. You put th information out there and therefor people are going to respond. You can't dictate responses.
So, I guess I see no issue with your plans except for one thing- it's not a wedding, so you can't call it one. However, it sounds like everyone knows it's not a wedding, you are hosting everyone very well, and you are aware that some people may choose to not attend because it's not a wedding.
Having been through a divorce, I personally understand not wanting to remarry, but wanting to fully commit to someone. In fact, my H and I had the same mindset and almost didn't marry because why should we? We don't need to share finances, insurance, or raise children. However, I REALLY don't understand the need to have a ceremony to just commit to one another. I barely had a ceremony to get married (we eloped and it was extremely simple and private). I might just throw a super nice party just for the hell of it, but I don't really see the need for the drama and stress of planning a wedding-type event for a non-wedding. That's just my opinion.
FWIW, the way you wrote your post suggested that you were just starting to look into the whole DW thing and Italy was a possibility, but you were open to suggestion because it's a second time around and you travel a lot. It led a lot of people, myself included, to believe you were actually getting remarried.
Obviously, the rest of her attitude sucks and she should call this something other than a wedding (commitment ceremony?).
OP: in Canada, being common law is just as legal as being married and I've know common law relationships who have split up and they required a lot of lawyer fees. Not being "'married" doesn't necessarily prevent any of the issues you've cited.
I am sorry I wasted my time trying to help you. You are making a farce out of something that I hold sacred.
The vows don't necessarily mean you (general you and not you personally) are committed. If so, there would be far fewer divorces. I don't think anyone goes into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce. The "piece of paper" entitles you to a lot of benefits and status. To many people it represents something very meaningful and sacred. In most of my friends homes, they have their certificate framed.
You are entitled to your own opinion about what the ceremony means and what the piece of paper means, but so are the rest of the people that you've posted out to.
Go ahead and have your commitment ceremony. Have a big party and celebrate. Goodness knows that we should celebrate more often as life is short. As long as your guests know that you aren't signing official papers, they can choose to support you in whatever way they want. If that means attending, you will have lots of guests.